bgm: Hey Hey You-蔡健雅 02:11 Today must be a big news 02:41 The headmaster in your university would be the most highest level person I mean he was the most respected person. 03:21 Of course it's not a good news 03:52 I just ask for a few more bonus because there's some rule if you have some achievements in some field about the innovation like you published some essay in some journal you'LL get some rewards. 04:33 I asked for the bonus. 05:03 Received the refusal. 05:31 It seems that someone push me to deal with this problem right now I can't delay it I can't procrastinate I can't say sorry can we talk about later I can't do this... 06:01 Hello student you have to give me a phone call... 06:44 I really hate to make a phone call especially for someone I'm not so familiar with and I have to respect him because I was a student he was a teacher. 07:33 There's something wrong with your essay... 08:04 there was something wrong with my PDF 08:14 So I said I got the evidence I could prove for myself. 08:42 To speak for myself. 09:43 it's a messy thing and they don't want to get themselves into trouble 10:50 What is my tongue or what is the content of this letter what should I say in that. 12:09 In fact I was not sure about the final feedback but I think at least I made effort 12:44 there's something need to be justified there's something need to be refined for the rules for the system for the management of our school 14:28 Or else I will even despise for myself 15:25 The only thing to solve nervous is to deal with it the only thing to alleviate your anxiety is to do something. You can never delay it again and again and finally you need to meet it you need to challenge it. 16:09 But I will be confident for me about the solution about the way about my attitude. 16:24 And I think I should get a mature about the solution I could I should let myself be more stronger when I face the challenge today I have some a few moments I feel really upset. 17:17 These moments composed of me to be a real person and to support me to move on. 17:45 And I should be proud of me for that bald time for that brave moment.

bgm: 分身情人-魏晨 模拟人生-The Sims 02:13 刚才check了一下我的倒计时countdown，今天刚好是考研倒计时110天，也算是个整数 whole number，来谈谈我的想法。 03:34 1. 见证我这几天的情绪过山车emotional roller coaster 06:16 2. 减重减脂的过程是阶梯型而不是直线型stepwise rather than linear 平台期Plateau period 07:46 3. 芝麻点小事都可能会引燃ignite我。突然爆破的纸袋子、雷阵雨、失踪的文件夹、杳无音讯、老师的微信Suddenly bursting paper bags, thunderstorms, missing folders, no news at all, the teacher's wechat... 4. 努力井井有条well-organize的今天起码有85分。酸疼的眼睛。企图用大块的计划来划分自己的一天。（12:17分享我新开始用的app/网页：Notion） 13:04 5. 不要想着一步登天 reach the sky in one step，现在还是播种的季节、是打基础的季节不要想着收获。It's still the season for sowing and laying the foundation. Don't think about reaping. 14:18 6. 这两个月以来我的生活由主线任务和无数个支线任务构成one main task and countless side tasks。我的例行安排包括不限于思考下一顿吃什么、清理每天的外卖包装垃圾、清扫我打翻的咖啡液的同时洗衣服晾衣服浇花、延迟几分钟再回复老师的微信弹窗replying to the teacher's wechat pop-up message a few minutes later。 16:00 7. 我预感我在接下来的110天里将会有无数个消沉又爆破的时刻depressing and explosive moments 。 我已经努力了2个月，而在接下来令人焦虑担心的110天里，我将无数次重新规划自己的日程表，无数次告诉自己深呼吸，一边看眼花缭乱的经验贴dazzling experience posts一边继续啃我的复习进度，与此同时，我甚至还要应付有关开题报告、考研报名资料等一系列支线任务。我必须在鞭策自己的同时哄着自己，必须在沉迷网络的时候让自己停下来。我要自律可是又不能自律得过分，要担心自己能不能上岸可是不能焦虑过头而丧失自信。I have to spur myself on while coaxing myself, and I have to stop myself when I'm addicted to the Internet. I need to be self-disciplined but not overly so. I have to worry about whether I can make it to the “shore”but not be overly anxious and lose confidence. 我得学会与压力共处，学会解压，学会照顾自己，学会把自己像模拟人生的小人一样好好养。 I have to learn to coexist with pressure, learn to relieve stress, learn to take care of myself, and learn to raise myself like a little person in The SIMS. 我的Notion界面：

bgm：茧Jian-王OK 01:04 本期播客围绕写信后续 01:49 接到电话 02:39 好像我的努力都是打水漂 So I feel really were and also angry about the final bad result I mean I did nothing I try to speak for myself and I did a lot of things I made a lot of efforts but in re word I did not again I did nothing and everything seems to being in vain 03:11 可是这是我的权益 04:19 我突然回忆到有无数个时刻我都是这样无助地向我的姐姐们求助 And I reflect that there's thousands of time that I feel really sad I feel something I can't deal with and at that time I will return to my sister'S. 04:30 I hope they can give me some inspiration they can give me some advice and you know when I just Switch to them for help they'LL give me the instant help. 05:10 可我没办法给他们任何有帮助的建议，我的能力不足 I can't give something back to myshes and sometimes I find. My own efforts is so small. 06:24 我永远在她们的臂弯下长大 07:35 No matter when we grow up or not no matter how big how old were but we're still together 08:06 她们是上天给我打包的最大的礼物 08:32 考研是我当下唯一能把握的最大的回报 Besides of all of them I can still strive for one thing I can still. Hold one thing in my hand that is my effort my effort to pass the exam I need to push myself more because the good results the good news about staying in the same city as my sisters. 09:24 I should push myself harder and I think it's the biggest gift I can give in re word in reward for all the happiness I received in work for all the love from my family.

前几天也想过要录，但是实在是太没有逻辑了。本来想在考研倒计时100天的纪念日里发出一集，但好久没说话了，嘴特笨，实在是受不了自己。今天晚上突然下大雨（直到现在还在暴雨），我撑着小伞从图书馆回到寝室，裤子和鞋子都湿了。洗漱完九点上床，墨迹一小时后大脑皮层也还是亢奋，这期播客就这么天时地利人和的诞生了。 没有bgm，只有一个考研人把最粗糙也最真实的想法说给你听，当然主要是说给她自己听。 录播客的初衷本身就是为了自己，大家听到是缘分，我能收到大家正向的反馈是福分。我珍惜所有的缘分，也感恩所有的福分，但同时也坚定不移地保持自己的初心。 本期主要围绕三个关键词：desire、habit、hardworking。 第一，我现在要做的就是引燃我内心深处的熊熊烈火，引起一场大火。drive（驱动力）和desire远比motivation（动力）更持久。 第二，比起肾上腺素以及励志故事的短期兴奋，我更需要建立一个稳固的习惯，好让我风雨无阻的执行，并且觉得很自然而不那么痛苦。 第三，我意识到我这么做除了功利层面的想获得好成绩、好结果以外，更是因为好奇和期待。我太想看到一个久违了的努力的自我了，太想看到一个不顾一切奔向终点、全力以赴的自我。没错，我就是想看看我能全力以赴到什么样子。 保研推免实习出国，大家都有各自的路。我选择了一条战线长且结果未知的道路。这是一条很多人不敢走到底甚至不敢选择的路。选择本身证明我有很多人没有的勇气。而接下来我即将证明的，是我的努力配得上我的勇气。

bgm: 노을 - 10cm 00:33 中文唠嗑开场白 03:20 Start！ 04:55 只有想和好的人才会再坐在一张饭桌上沟通，我并没有想要arrange这场“和解”的意思 So the only reason that you you guys sit together and to meet the problem together and then solve it and be friends again it's all based on one thing that you want to be friends. But me I dont wanna go back again so.. 然而开学了燕归巢大学生返校，摩肩擦踵的盛况老熟人们想躲都来不及...It's already in September~~~~~~ 06:41 熟人...最容易视奸...主动或被动 How about we'are just you know it'LL become easier for you if we are just strangers not someone we know for each other 07:07 也不全是竞争，但是熟人就免不了会比较、好奇，但我对任何人不感兴趣、也不想任何人对我好奇 Ah it's not all about competition I think but there it is I think it does exist I have no interest in others'life even though I dislike to SPY on others's life others will also SPY on me 偷感十足地在校园里玩躲猫猫 like a game of hide and seek I dislike this attitude to be honest it's not my sense my vibe but. Okay I have to do this I find that because I just refuse any possibility to see that guy... 08:22 我就是不想尴尬 but I hate the situation and any atmosphere of embarrassment 08:41 小学的时候就简单的多，跟一个人绝交你只需要下战书然后冷战，长大了却窝窝囊囊地在学校当自闭的蘑菇... I think everything comes so public I mean I don't need to hide and it's meaningless for me to hide because we will see each other everyday in your primary school but now you know breaking off your one relationship now. I try to avoid everything and i try to stay myself faraway from some lines from conflict from even meeting. 09:23 但有时候“敬而远之”也许是一种大智慧？ 如果有按钮的话我想一键删除。可没有清空键。 成年人的世界里只有利益、妥协、熟视无睹和尴尬 But perhaps it's a wise it's a wise choice I think maybe it's kind of great wisdom perhaps keeping a respect for keeping a distance it's better for me now 11:09 我不想要知道正确答案，我想就让答案浸泡在一中模糊和暧昧里，我在这种模糊中麻痹自己、继续掩耳盗铃在我的跑道上行进着 just stay everything so ambiguous so I can give myself more room I can send some excuses for myself that maybe that it is not a guy and I can keep running I can do what I what I want to do next 12:47 真相本身反而会打破我好不容易建立起来的平静，我不要面面相觑的尴尬 That will bring a lot of trouble right so I don't want myself to find the exact answer I want myself just to treat everyone as stranger strangers 14:03 可后来我想我凭什么要放弃我的主体性？不相关的人就是不要分配任何你宝贵的时间和精力，最好的做法就是给Y忽略——I DONT CAR 我想去哪里去哪里。 我不在乎任何人。 我只想把一件事干好，别的真的都没那么重要。 I think the more important thing is I need to think about my attitude toward that thing toward that situation I need to build my confidence I need to you know not pretend but to be honest I need to build in the heart that. I don't care so I want myself to build that stronger attitudes you know why should I care about this and why should I give up my own subjectivity主体性.

bgm：再见再见 If you had jumped up earlier, you wouldn't have just been passively staring at the ceiling. 01:21 Start 02:20 很早以前我看过一档节目叫做《令人心动的offer》(Irresistible Offer)，里面的一位选手李浩源在面试的时候说，“我觉得天赋是基础，天花板一样的东西，但是你没有努力，一辈子也够不到天花板” A long time ago, I watched a show called Irresistible offer, in which one of the contestants, Li Haoyuan, said during an interview, "I think talent is the foundation, something like a ceiling, but if you don't work hard, you'll never reach the ceiling in your lifetime. 04:19 STORY ONE: 事情没有我想象的那么遭。Things are not as bad as I thought. 我的选题topic selection被老师表扬了。这完全是意外之喜。她说我的选题很新颖，她很期待我最后的产出。听到她的表扬的时候我暗自窃喜，昨天接到组会通知之后我的心脏一直怦怦跳，我发现一旦我收到任务我就会惴惴不安。 06:14 我对自己的选题没自信，受到表扬的第一反应居然是否定。My first reaction when I receive praise is to deny it. 我们太喜欢说“哪里哪里”了，我应该从容接过赞美的，我的自信都去哪里了？I should have taken the praise calmly. Where did all my confidence go? 07:14 预设困难只会让我陷入无意义的焦虑之中。 Assuming difficulties only traps me in pointless anxiety. 07:40 人真的是唯一一个可以不只活在当下的生物，但这不一定是优点。 Human beings are truly the only creatures that can not just live in the present, but this is not necessarily an advantage. 我们总纠结在改变不了的昨天和无法阻止的明天，而忘记了唯一能改变和把握的今天。 We are always entangled in the unchangeable yesterday and the unstoppable tomorrow, while forgetting the only today that can be changed and grasped. 08:43 STORY TWO: 从图书馆出来后，我偶遇了之前的一个朋友。After leaving the library, I happened to run into an old friend of mine. 她和我之前印象里的样子很不一样。曾经我也被她自信的气场给震慑，I was once shocked by her confident aura 09:55 那些我羡慕的自然的、大方的磁场今天全都没了。 All those natural and generous magnetic fields that I envied have vanished today. 10:48 提前的安定的offer除了让你可以没有压力地提前摆烂以外，送不了你去真正想去的地方。An early and stable offer, apart from allowing you to give up in advance without any pressure, won't send you to the place you truly want to go. 你的焦虑不会消失，它们只是被你短暂地隐藏了起来，被你自欺欺人地掩盖然后每天晚上你意识到，你只是拖延了你的焦虑。 11:37 Your anxiety won't disappear. It's just that you temporarily hide it, deceive yourself into covering it up, and then every night you realize that you've merely been delaying your anxiety. 你的郁郁不得志，你的自视清高永远不会释怀。 Your depression is unfulfilled, your self-regard will never let go. 你只能躺着、凝望着过去放弃的那次起跳的机会，那次你明明可以试试自己能跳多高，可你再也回不去了。You can only lie down and gaze at that chance to jump that you gave up in the past. Back then, you could have tried how high you could jump, but you can never go back. 我懂这种感受，这种我不知道自己努力了能去哪可是我放弃努力让我一直耿耿于怀。你无法与自己和解。就像一根刺一样无法介怀。Like a thorn rooted in your heart. 保研的她好像反而“倒反天罡”开始羡慕我，并且我也不知道为什么，除了我以外所有同学都对我非常有自信。On the contrary, she started to envy me after being promoted to graduate school. I didn't know why, but all the other students except me were very confident in me. 虽然说对别人有自信是最不用负责人最轻而易举的事儿，但我也确实该给自己打气，要相信相信的力量。比起永远无法释怀那张我放弃的考卷，不如抓住每一个可以变现的今天，我要大踏步走到我的考场，我要证明这九十天的我值得拿到那张录取通知书。 16:59 刘思远说清华的人只会因为不努力而感到羞耻。我要去够一够天花板，保持远视继续向前。 Liu Siyuan said that people from Tsinghua University would only feel ashamed for not working hard.I'm going to reach the ceiling, keep my vision and move on.

bgm：蓝剔未必是坏习惯 - Kiri T 好久没更新了又，消沉了一阵，欢迎评论交流！ 关键讨论点/金句: * Perfection is a trap. Completion, not perfection, is the only way forward. * We're all struggling. And time, eventually, answers everything. * On rejection: "It stung. It felt like a personal rejection." * The core realization: "All of this... is all microscopic in the grand story of my life." * This noise doesn't get a seat at the table. * We always, always have the power to start again. * Your road to self-redemption starts with the next step you take. 本集提到的内容: * 完美主义对生产力的危害 * 如何应对不公平对待 * 情绪化饮食与如何重建与食物的健康关系 * 在备考压力中如何重新找回专注与动力 * “自救”的核心：将挫折视为生命中的微小片段，并夺回对生活的掌控权 02:45 You're listening to “The Road to Self-Redemption for an English Major.” I'm Monica. And this… is a record of how I find my way back. You might have noticed it's been a minute. Truth is, I went radio silent because I lost the will to share. I was in a hole—the kind where you can't even look yourself in the mirror, let alone hit the record button and pretend you have it all figured out. Confidence? Gone. Motivation? Nowhere to be found. 03:54 The evidence was everywhere. My roommate called me a "hard-boiled egg"—a hilarious but painfully accurate description of my sun-tanned, I've-given-up-on-sunscreen life. My desk was a war zone, my plants were dead, and my life was a cycle of mindless snacking and revenge bedtime procrastination. I was a world away from the driven, optimistic person I was at the start of summer, ready to conquer the grad school entrance exams. 06:54 My self-redemption started with a few brutal realizations. 07:04 First, perfection is a trap. I had to murder my beautiful, detailed, and utterly paralyzing to-do list. When I finally focused on just one single task—not the whole mountain—I accidentally studied for three solid hours. It wasn't pretty, but it was done. Completion, not perfection, is the only way forward. Then, life tested me. I found out my teacher gave out bonuses and skipped me entirely. It stung. It felt like a personal rejection. And my relationship with food? It spiraled. Just today, I stress-ate a giant bowl of Malatang. It felt like a total loss of control. But this is where the "self-redemption" part kicks in. 09:24 Here's the mindset shift that changes everything: 09:34 All of this—the burnout, the rejection, the bad meals, the hard-boiled egg —it's all microscopic in the grand story of my life. In the second half of my 22nd year, on this road to redemption, this noise doesn't get a seat at the table. 10:22 And the most powerful part? We always, always have the power to start again. Yeah, I ate that Malatang today. But the me now is not the me from last year. I've learned about nutrition. I understand my body. I know how to regain control. Over my diet, over my studies, over my life. So if you're listening this, feeling stuck in your own version of this struggle… I need you to hear this: You have the ability to change your story. Whatever bottleneck you're in, tell yourself: this is just a chapter. It is not the whole book. 12:04 Your road to self-redemption starts with the next step you take.

bgm：志明与春娇-孙燕姿 这期很特别，阴阳割昏晓，前半部分是我今天录的，后半部分突然变林妹妹在中秋节自影自怜。 1. 图书馆的黑皮体育生神似tomo，我们有时候会有眼神交流但是停留在陌生人的关系。他真的很努力，也感染了我。还有一个女生今天坐我旁边，她在图书馆边吃零食边工作，特别影响我，每隔几分钟她还要扭动身体站起来。不过我马上提醒自己，嘿嘿，他们都不重要，这些都不能影响我。就像我昨天早上找不到眼镜，我也是马上想应急方案，先搁置，先忽略。专注眼前小小的事儿。 2. 我特意绕远路去了一条可以飙车的道再回寝室。嘴巴哼着耳机里放的歌，一边拧着油门，觉得特别放松自由。 3.刷视频就像吃薯片一样，过了最兴奋的一阵之后，接下来的刺激越来越少，当我意识到快乐阈值越来越高的时候，我会选择停止，去做我该做的事。尽管我是如此抗拒，但是如果不做的话，任务清单一直在那里一动不动。 4. 今天我就是这么一直自我欺骗，我发现背书的任务推动地特别慢，这让我很着急。但是我又马上哄着自己，鼓励自己前进。因为只要我在前进，而别人崩溃停滞，那么就会有人被淘汰。 5. 总的来说最近几天的状态还是不错的，逼着自己进步，看到自己进步，努力维持一种规律的节奏，我继续把晨练放在早上，把记忆性的任务先做一部分，而不是先挑简单的。我不再只是追求任务的完成数量，因为自己是无法骗自己的，自己知道今天努力到几分。

为什么啊... bgm：自作多情-周慧敏 02:21 start

bgm：不遗憾 - 陈冬霖 00:28 Preview 02:23 1. 努力建立自己的习惯的最近。好的习惯就像投票，一天状态不好或是任务没做完是可以原谅的，但是不要让自己的弦断掉，let your string break 不要消沉逃避和拖延，Don't be depressed, evasive or procrastinate. 不要三天打鱼两天晒网。don't be inconsistent in your efforts. 06:10你要做的只是尽量每天给那个池子里投票，坚持的力量是难以想象的。 06:33 2. 我每天的兴奋剂或者说充电宝。My daily stimulant or power bank. * 1. 铁三的运动员们The triathlon athletes 铁三比赛是将游泳、自行车和跑步这三项运动结合起来而创造的一项新型的体育运动项目，是考验运动员体力和意志的运动项目。 Jonas Deichmann 乔纳斯·戴希曼（Jonas Deichmann）是德国知名极限运动员，以高强度耐力挑战闻名。以下是其最新挑战记录： 连续120天完成120场铁人三项。 2024年5月9日至9月5日，他在德国罗特小镇完成连续120天、每日一场的铁人三项挑战（含游泳3.8公里、骑行180公里、跑步42公里）。 这种不可思议的极限坚持的背后是热爱和巨大的意志力，而当我了解了他的故事，我的心里就会升起激情。我以前从来对体育赛事不感兴趣，可最近我开始看Deichmann的故事，也开始看基普乔格Kipchoge （以1小时59分40秒2的成绩，成功突破了马拉松2小时的极限）、郑钦文。感谢运动员，他们以超强的意志力和行动激励我向前。 “当你以为这个世界因为疫情而停顿下来的时候，总有些人克服千难万险，默默蓄力前行。” * 10:03 2.梵高的故事 27岁投身画画，37岁去世。大器晚成。 昨天晚上我在看梵高的画，我觉得他画的真好啊，浓烈的色彩，好喜欢富有生命力的笔触。 * 11:41 3.看高能量的人。 我想谈谈我现在唯一在追的一个综艺节目《花儿与少年第七季》。里面我最喜欢的两个人，一个是龚俊，一个是张雅琪。 他们两个都事无巨细、有责任心、上进、体贴。 张雅琪和明星不一样，我之前了解她是在《令人心动的offer》（Irresistable Offer），而这一次她辞职到芒果台湖南卫视成为一名新的主持人加入到这个节目中。在节目里她完美诠释了打工人的样貌。看了节目以后，我去她的社交平台看了她以前的vlog，被她高能量一天打3份工的状态所鼓舞，那几天我每天都看她的视频。能量是会传染的。既然如此，我们应该尽量往高能量去靠。Energy is contagious. In that case, we should try our best to lean towards high energy. 14:48 3.除了从这些榜样中获得能量之外。我还学到了一招对我很管用——想象大法。 具体来说就是想象自己想要成为什么样的人，想象如果是ta，会是什么心态，而我要达到那样的目标今天该做什么，该养成什么习惯。 16:20 昨天我们学校的公众号发了一篇推送，是我们学院的一个学姐，我早就听说过她的“传说”，如今，她的ip在英国，她被牛津大学录取了。不仅如此，她拿到了牛津剑桥的双offer。这个故事对我很震撼，虽然我和她不熟悉，可是我以前也常常能在学校里看见她。努力、野心，我们要相信自己的能力。 14:48 畅享自己打了胜仗之后和亲友团聚，我们凑在一起打麻将、密室逃脱。畅享我在上海读书，我和家人们在小屋里吃饭看电视，畅享我以研究生的身份在国外交流…… 21:03 4. 最后一休休给新鲜出炉的上集的后续 给我褪色的友谊存档

bgm：日落 - 孙燕姿；十分钟的恋爱 00:37 中文开场白 02:06 Start！ 02:41 昨天晚上看到小S（Elephant Dee）金钟奖复出获奖的视频，我的泪水哗哗地流。 Just last night, I was watching a clip of Xiao S （ Elephant Dee）making her comeback at the Golden Bell Awards. And out of nowhere, I just started weeping. 04:40 我从没想过今天早上的跑步会是我的“最后一次”跑步——至少有一段时间是这样。I never thought that this morning’s run would be my "last" run—at least for a while. 05:22 Something weird something strange just came. The scooter didn't sound right... 车身重重地压在了我的身上，我的膝盖重重地磕在地上。当我起来的时候，两个膝盖很大的一片鲜血。 The next thing I knew, the scooter came crashing down on me. My knees slammed hard against the pavement. When I finally got up, both of my knees were covered in blood—large, raw patches staring back at me. I straightened the bike, but I didn’t dare get back on. Slowly, I pushed it to the side of the road. 07:02 我的两个膝盖非常疼，我的泪水止不住地流。不是那种委屈的哭，是生理反应的哭。It's just a purely physical reaction I think. 08:00 走着走着，命运般遇到了我的朋友。她就像天使一样对我说“上车吧”。She drove me to the campus clinic 09:13 出来之后我的膝盖还是渗血，发疼。但是我心里已经好了许多 My knees still hurt but emotionally I feel much better I feel more grounded. 10:28 安顿好一切之后告诉家人 And after everything was taken care of settle down a finally sent one message to my parents to let them know what had happened. 11:07 本来按照我的计划，中午是要吃饭洗澡睡觉。不过这些突如其来的事情就好像在锻炼我的“反脆弱”能力，否极泰来。何况我是如此幸运，身边有许多爱我的家人朋友。接下来就是收拾心情，注意安全！ Originally, my plan for the afternoon was to eat, shower, and rest. But sometimes, unexpected events—whether it's a wave of grief for a sister you never knew you missed so much, or a bike crash that shakes your whole body—feel like life’s way of testing your resilience. Maybe when things hit rock bottom, they can only get better. And honestly, I’m so lucky to be surrounded by family and friends who care about me. So for now, I’ll take a deep breath, focus on healing, and remember to be a little more careful next time.

bgm：story that never ends - 陈康堤 今天这期播客想送给所有擅长责怪自己的朋友 本期摘要： 一次与老师的寻常谈话，却让我意外地情绪决堤。在不受控制的泪水与抽泣中，我感到的不仅是悲伤，更是深深的羞愧与自我责怪——“我讨厌哭，更讨厌无法控制自己的哭”。这期播客记录了一次突如其来的情绪崩溃，以及崩溃之后与自我的深刻对话。我们似乎总是不允许自己脆弱，但正如一句点醒我的话：“人想到伤心事就是会哭啊”。最终，这期节目希望与你分享一个温柔的领悟：请允许自己哭泣，包容自己的脆弱，做自己最好的朋友。 美好的结局，正从你原谅自己的那一刻开始书写。 情绪崩溃后的第一反应居然是责怪自己 After an emotional breakdown, my first reaction is to blame myself 00:43 Preview 01:22 Start 02:22 我太擅长自我否定了I'm too good at self-denial. 02:45 Even though you know that you don't have the responsibility but you just habit put that in your stress put that to add on your stress. 04:21 我只知道我的声音开始颤抖，鼻子一酸，我就开始流泪了。 I just like breaking machine andi stuck and I can't control myself better. 05:45 So after this conversation I just want to quickly end up all of this 因此在结束谈话之后，我匆匆离去，我知道自己眼睛一定红了，而且我的情绪一直间歇性地忍不住激动。 我讨厌哭，更讨厌哭的时候无法控制自己，更更讨厌无法控制自己的哭的时候有人看着我。 I knew my eyes must have been red, and my emotions had been intermittently agitated. 06:37 “人想到伤心事就是会哭啊” “People just feel sad people just cry when they feel when they think of the sad things.” 07:14 And I realized I still can't learn the ability to forgive myself for being vulnerable. 我还是没能原谅自己会脆弱，我不能压抑这些情绪。我要允许自己的眼泪，包容它们，然后等我收拾好了我再继续。 08:30 And I'will see this I'will see my crying today as one of the way to vent my stress it's a good thing it's really normal I should tell myself. 当然我也知道因为处理这些事情会让我焦虑时间。考研三字头了，我的压力是缓缓增加的，因此这次的哭也许也是一种压力宣泄 这是好事啊。这很正常啊。我是我自己最好的朋友，永远要记得原谅自己、鼓励自己、哄着自己向前。继续写你的热血番吧，而美好的大结局就在你的脚下。Keep writing your passionate anime, and a wonderful ending is right beneath your feet. 09:12 中文絮絮叨