Today I want to talk about something some listeners have asked me about: making really tough decisions. Now: what makes a choice hard? It’s actually not the number of options, or how big the decision feels. What makes a choice hard is the way the alternatives relate to each other. In an easy choice, one alternative is clearly better than the other. It’s like, should I eat instant noodles or go have hotpot with my friends? Hands down, hotpot wins, no doubt. But in a hard choice, it’s different. One alternative is better in some ways, and the other is better in other ways. And neither is better overall. For example, think about what many of you are facing: should you study abroad, or should you start working right after college in your home country? • If you go abroad, you get exposure, global experience, maybe more opportunities. • If you stay, you get stability, family support, and you start building your career earlier. See? Neither is better in an absolute sense. They’re just better in different ways. And that’s what makes the decision so hard. But here’s how I see it: there’s no “better” or “worse” decision in a hard choice. What often makes us freeze and feel clueless is not the decision itself, but the fear/ uncertainty around it. We let the uncertainty, the “what ifs,” cloud our judgment. It tricks us into thinking, if I choose wrong, I’ll ruin everything. But the truth is, in a hard choice, there is no wrong answer in the way we usually think. So what do we do then? We need to change our mindset. A hard choice is not a challenge designed to stop us/ faze us, but rather a chance to define us. Instead of making endless pro-con lists, instead of comparing until our brains explode, we should ask ourselves: Who do I want to be? What do I want to do in life? And then, choose whatever gets you closer to that vision. That’s how you turn a hard choice into a meaningful one. I’ve been there myself.I used to be a project engineer working for the government in China. On paper, it was a dream job, stable and pretty decent income, great benefits, a clear career path. I stayed there for 4 years. But deep down, something didn’t feel right. At the age of 28, I decided to quit that job and go study abroad AGAIN. Everyone around me thought I was crazy : “Why would you give up such a good job?!” they said. But I knew I wanted more than just stability. I wanted to feel challenged and alive. I’d always loved teaching and helping others reach their potential, and people often told me I had a knack for it. I’ve always been passionate about languages. So after graduation, I made another risky move, I became a full-time online English teacher. And honestly, that decision led to who I am today and defined who I am today. Even though I gave up stability, I gained freedom and flexibility, the freedom to do what I love, the flexibility to work from anywhere in this world, and to make a really good living doing something that truly matters to me. That so-called “wrong” decision turned out to be the best one I’ve ever made. I learned that I’m a risk-taker when it comes to life experiences. I choose to follow my heart. I know my worth, and I know what I’m best at. And now, looking back, I can honestly say, I’m free, fulfilled, and I’ve built a life that feels truly mine. I get to do what I love every day, and I’ve also built a career that allows me to take care of my family and live comfortably. I don’t just survive, I thrive. That decision people once laughed at? It’s the very decision that gave me the life I have today. Now some of you might wonder and say, but sometimes, I don’t actually know who I am yet, or what I want in life yet. And that’s completely okay. In fact, most of us are still figuring it out. What matters here is having what I’d call a “trial-and-error” mindset, 良好的试错心态. If you’re unsure, pick the path that speaks to you a little more, even if you can’t fully explain why. Don’t be afraid of making the “wrong” choice. See it as an experiment. You try something, and if it doesn’t work out, that’s data. That’s clarity. You can say, Alright, now I know this isn’t for me. Let me adjust. What you don’t want to do is always choose the safest option just because it feels safe. Because deep down, you’ll always wonder: What if I had gone the other way? What could I have achieved? And honestly, that kind of regret can grow heavier and heavier over time and end up weighing more than failing at something. So to wrap up: • Hard choices are hard not because one is better, but because each option is better in different ways. • There’s no right or wrong answer; don’t let your fear blind you. • Shift your mindset: a hard choice is a chance to define who you are. • And finally, embrace trial and error. Don’t live for safety; live for

Hi everyone. Welcome back to another episode of Talk with Tara. Today we're talking about love. So I've been asked this question from time to time. Tara, how do you know that you're with the right person? And I gotta say, that's a very solid question. How do you know that you're with the right person? And I find it especially difficult when you are still at an early stage of a relationship because at this stage of the relationship, you feel everything is so refreshing and new. You're still at this honeymoon phase and your brain just releases a lot of dopamine and you are enjoying this dopamine rush. You're letting it taking you to the moon, and you feel like you are walking on the cloud. You are excited and stoked, and you feel like you have butterflies in your stomach, you're so smitten with this person, and then you tend to let this dopamine rush override or cloud your judgment. At this stage of a relationship, you have to be really careful and try really hard not to romanticize the relationship. You have to be able to differentiate the reality of, oh, am I really, really in love with this person for who they are? Or am I just loving love? You know what I mean, Loving the feeling of love. Is this person the right person for me? Is this person a good fit for me? Are we compatible? You have to keep asking yourself that question. Because at this stage, the sunk cost is not that high yet, and the tricky part is it is harder to find problems in the beginning because at the start of a relationship, people try really hard to hide their messy and dark sides. They always try to put their best foot forward to impress their partner. So they always mask, um, their behavior and it's really hard to find problems. That's when you really need to pay attention to details. You have to pay a lot of attention to the way they treat people, not just you, to everybody around them. Do they treat people equally? And how do they behave in tough situations like when things don't go their ways or when you have a disagreement, do they stil stay cool and respectful, or do they lose their minds and just go crazy and start yelling at you? Right? And do they listen to you like wholeheartedly and actively? Which is another thing I really want to emphasize on, that is to really show interest in you. Pay attention to the things you say. I remember this one time I went on a date. That was many, many years ago before I got married, of course. I went on a date with this guy. Um, he was really, he was a really nice guy, very polite and everything, very friendly and smiley and, um, but the problem was throughout the whole night he was just, you know, kept rambling on and on talking about himself without asking one single question about me. He didn't show any interest in me. And he didn't ask me things like, oh, so what are your hobbies? Where do you go after work, and what's your take on this issue. What do you think about that? Like he wasn't interested in who I am, what I love to do, what my inner world was like at all. So that was enough of a good sign of, this person is not the right person for you. And then funny enough, after that date, he wanted to have a second date with me. Of course, he, his ego was so inflated. I was all night listening to him. Of course, he felt really good about himself in front of me, and he felt really good about me because I'm such a listener, right? So he wanted to have the second date. Can you guess what I said? Of course. I said, no, no, no more dates because you are not the right person for me. You love yourself too much. You wouldn't have any room for loving somebody else for me. One of the signs of yes you are with the right person is you can be truly 100% you yourself, and you feel completely relaxed and comfortable, and safe. When you are with this person, you don't need to hide who you are. You don't need to pretend you're another person. You don't need to mask who you are and you are not afraid to let this person see you, the dark sides of you to show your vulnerability and you, you can be truly yourself. That's a very important thing. When you are with a wrong person, you will know it because you will all the time feeling awkward and. Uncomfortable. You can't be your authentic self. You are all the time hiding your true thoughts and ideas. You cannot let this person know who you really are, what you're really thinking, and your all time worrying of losing this person. Once they find out who you really are, and trust me, it's exhausting to pretend to be somebody else, especially in the long run. You cannot do that. You deserve to be in a relationship where you feel loved. Supported and enough, you will feel like my person loves me for who I am, and I'm enough. For this person. 完整文稿： 通过网盘分享的文件：Tara小宇宙播客文稿 链接: https://pan.baidu.com/s/1ewVYOgptpG7VL53oid5lNg 提取码: Tara --来自百度网盘超级会员v7的分享

1. "girlie(s)." In Urban Dictionary, "girlies" can refer to a few different things. Most commonly, it's used to describe women or girls, often in a friendly or playful way. 有点像中文的铝孩纸， It can also be used to refer to "the women in my group," You can call yourself too, “I’m such a healthy smoothie girlie”… 2. Next up, “Chad.” Chad originally is a name. “He walked in late, no notes, gave a flawless presentation, and left early. Total Chad move.” “He ghosted her after two dates and bragged about it to his boys. Classic Chad move." "The Chad at the bar just cut the whole line because he 'knows the owner.'油腻猛男，直男癌 3. Now, onto “Karen.” 事儿妈，女杠精 A “Karen” is the stereotype of a demanding, entitled woman — usually middle-aged — who insists on “speaking to the manager,” causes a scene in public, or complains in a way that feels unfair or privileged. “She called the police because the neighbors were having a barbecue? That’s peak Karen behavior.” 4. “It’s giving...” This one is everywhere. “It’s giving” is basically a way to describe the vibe something gives off. It’s a shorthand for “This reminds me of…” or “This has the energy of…” For example: "That outfit? It’s giving 90s supermodel." Or: "This rainy weather is giving sad indie movie." 5. And then, we’ve got: “Gives me the ick.” When you say something “gives you the ick,” you're talking about something that turns you off, often suddenly and irrationally. 下头 6. Next, "I can't even" “Did you see that cat wearing sunglasses and riding a Roomba? I can’t even.” And yes, you can stop at just “I can’t.” Gen Z loves a good sentence fragment. 我不行了，忍不了了，我快笑死了，太恶了，太可爱太萌了（受不了） 7. It’s the ___ for me A way to point out or roast a specific trait or behavior someone has — either to hype them up or (often) tease them. o “It’s the fake laugh for me.” o “It’s the way you still text with a dot at the end... for me.” 最戳我的是____” / “就冲你这点我不行了” 8. "Delulu" It’s short for “delusional,” but in the funniest, cutest way possible. “She thinks her barista is secretly in love with her. She's so delulu — but like, in an adorable way.” 疯癫，自我催眠，好会脑补 9. "Soft launch" & "Hard launch" A soft launch is when you post a hint that you're dating someone. For exmaple: A blurry picture of two drinks on a table. A photo of someone’s hand, but no face. Caption: “Nice view today ” Meanwhile, a hard launch is when you drop the full thing: Couple picture, arm around the waist, maybe even a kiss. Boom. Insta-official. 10. Next one "Demure" Now for something a little classy , you say “demure.” “She wore a demure little dress and then tried outdrink everyone there.” “I like your outfit today. Very cutesy, very demure.” 11. And then we have: "Ship" 磕CP To “ship” two people means you want them to be together — romantically. It comes from “relationship.” “I totally ship them. They’d be such a power couple.” 12. "Cap" / "No cap" This one’s slang for lying or truth. If someone says “That’s cap,” they mean “That’s a lie.” If they say “No cap,” they mean “I’m serious.” “He said he met Beyoncé in an elevator.” “That’s cap.” “No cap, I really did — okay, maybe it was a wax figure.”

全字幕链接： 通过网盘分享的文件：Tara小宇宙播客文稿 链接: https://pan.baidu.com/s/1n7WXIW0Qu7TGamo2NM6FVg?pwd=Tara 提取码: Tara