养自己啊

每天被生活琐事填满，靠刷手机换来暂时性的快乐，却总觉得生活里少了什么——那种完全沉浸、被震撼到后脑勺发麻的时刻。我们把这叫做"巅峰时刻"。 不聊怎么消灭疲惫，而是聊怎么在疲惫里找到给你充电的高光瞬间。从大海、星空、沙漠夕阳，到NBA现场的集体欢腾；从画展上的天灵盖被冲开，到50层俯瞰19层办公室的视角转换；再到两本帮你复现巅峰体验的书——《当下的力量》和《敬畏之心》。 最终想和你说：巅峰时刻不是遥不可及的奢侈品，它就藏在你的"附近"——晚霞、蝉鸣、一只对视的猫、甚至摘下眼镜后看到的奶黄色光斑里。 关键是，你愿不愿意关掉脑子里嗡嗡作响的默认网络，真真切切地活在当下。 本期主播： 至卉：生活在中国，注册营养师兼创业公司产品经理，职业上靠研究食物谋生，生活中靠"用嘴表达"解压，持续探索生活与自我的可能性。ENFJ射手，激情高昂，内心柔软。 翠翠：生活在英国，工科博士在读，生活方式试验爱好者，从南京初创公司到北京大厂再到英格兰校园，像河一样流出自己的人生路径。INFJ白羊，平淡内敛，一身反骨。 时间轴 一、那些让我们后脑勺发麻的巅峰时刻 00:05 疲惫生活里，什么是"巅峰时刻" 02:02 大海、尼斯湖、华山星空：自然带来的震撼与"活着的感觉" 05:50 美国沙漠夕阳：疲惫中突然被击中的辽阔感 08:04 NBA现场与世界杯酒吧：集体欢腾的能量与归属感 13:21 微醺逛艺术展：被画冲击到的"天灵盖被冲开" 二、换个视角和心态，两本书教你复现巅峰 16:20 从50层俯瞰19层的办公室：烦恼变小了 19:41 墨水稀释比喻：扩大生活，痛苦就会被稀释 24:14 《当下的力量》：真实地感受当下，沉浸在附近和周遭 28:53 臣服于当下：掉进沼泽该怎么办 32:42 《敬畏之心》：8种奇迹与"默认神经网络"关闭 三、在日常"附近"找回巅峰体验 37:59 站在真实的大地上去感受"附近"：晚霞、蝉鸣、抬头看天空 40:12 日常巅峰一：洗脸后探出窗，与隔壁花园的猫对视 41:28 日常巅峰二：摘下眼镜，看到不一样的新奇世界 45:14 状态好时做"充电清单"，状态差时照着做 46:33 接受人生起伏，随时拥有感知高光时刻的能力 提到的几个概念 默认神经网络（Default Mode Network）：大脑中不停嗡嗡自言自语、胡思乱想的神经回路。在身体极度疲惫或主动沉浸当下时会被"关掉"，是巅峰体验产生的神经科学基础。 臣服于当下：并非认命或放弃，而是不带评判地接受"我此刻就在这个状态里"的事实，然后以平静的心态采取行动。改变只能发生在当下。 敬畏（Awe）：面对宏大未知时产生的感觉，超越当前对世界的理解。会带来身体感受（后脑勺发麻、想哭），并让人意识到自身是比自身更宏大的事物的一部分。 生活的8种奇迹：《敬畏之心》一书中归纳的容易引发敬畏感的8类事件，包括自然的宏大、集体的欢腾、艺术与音乐、他人的故事等。 墨水稀释比喻：如果烦恼是一滴墨水，滴到水杯里和滴到海里效果完全不同。扩大生活体验、感受宏大，可以稀释日常的痛苦。 相关书籍 《当下的力量》 《敬畏之心》 往期相关单集 EP3.满世界到处跑，我用出走旅行深度养育自我 置顶图片扫码，解锁更多【养自己啊】深度内容 💬 粉丝群 | 节目更新，聊天交流，分享你的"养自己"瞬间 📖 公众号 | 未讲完的故事，主播专栏，文字版陪伴 Every day, filled with life's endless errands, chasing momentary joy through phone-scrolling — yet something always feels missing. That kind of complete immersion, that moment of being so moved the back of your scalp tingles. We call these "peak moments." This episode isn't about eliminating exhaustion. It's about finding the high-voltage moments that recharge you right in the middle of it. From oceans, starry skies, and desert sunsets, to the collective euphoria of an NBA game live; from having your mind blown at an art exhibition, to the perspective shift of looking down from the 50th floor at your 19th-floor office; and two books that help you recreate peak experiences — The Power of Now and Awe. Ultimately, we want to tell you: peak moments aren't some unattainable luxury. They're hidden in your "nearby" — in sunset glows, cicada songs, a cat locking eyes with you, even in the creamy-yellow light spots you see when you take off your glasses. The question is: are you willing to switch off the default mode network buzzing away in your brain, and truly, fully, live in the present? Hosts: Molly: Based in China, registered dietitian and product manager at a startup. Makes a living studying food, decompresses by "expressing everything out loud," and continuously explores the possibilities of life and self. ENFJ Sagittarius — high-energy, soft-hearted. Kathy: Based in the UK, engineering PhD candidate, lifestyle experiment enthusiast. From a Nanjing startup to a Beijing tech giant to an English campus, she's flowed like a river to carve out her own path. INFJ Aries — understated, with a rebellious core. Timeline I. Those Peak Moments That Make the Back of Your Scalp Tingle 00:05 Topic intro: What are "peak moments" in an exhausting life? 02:02 Oceans, Loch Ness, and starry skies at Mount Hua: nature's awe and the feeling of "being alive" 05:50 Desert sunset in America: struck by vastness in the midst of exhaustion 08:04 NBA live & World Cup at a pub: the energy and belonging of collective euphoria 13:21 Tipsy at an art exhibition: having your mind blown by paintings II. A New Perspective on Worries, and Two Books to Help You Recreate Peak Experiences 16:20 Looking down from the 50th floor at your 19th-floor office: problems shrink 19:41 The ink-dilution metaphor: expand your life to dilute the pain 24:14 The Power of Now: eating overnight oats by the river, fully present, discovering oleander 28:53 Surrendering to the present: what to do when you fall into a swamp 32:24 Awe: the 8 wonders of life and shutting off the "default mode network" III. Finding Peak Experiences in Your Everyday "Nearby" 37:59 Step outside and feel the "nearby": sunsets, cicadas, looking up at the sky 40:12 Everyday peak #1: leaning out the window after washing your face, locking eyes with a cat 41:28 Everyday peak #2: taking off your glasses and seeing creamy-yellow, diamond-like spots of light 45:14 Build a "recharge list" when you're doing well; follow it when you're not 46:33 Wrap-up: accept life's ups and downs, and always keep the ability to perceive peak moments Key Concepts Mentioned Default Mode Network: The neural circuit in the brain that constantly buzzes with self-talk and wandering thoughts. It gets "switched off" during extreme physical exhaustion or when actively immersing in the present — the neurological basis for peak experiences. Surrendering to the Present: Not resignation or giving up, but accepting without judgment the fact that "I am in this state right now," then taking action with a calm mind. Change can only happen in the present moment. Awe: The feeling when facing something vast and unknown that transcends your current understanding of the world. It brings physical sensations (scalp tingling, urge to cry) and makes you realize you're part of something larger than yourself. The 8 Wonders of Life: Eight categories of events identified in Awe that tend to trigger awe, including moral beauty/nature's vastness, collective effervescence, art and music, and others' stories. The Ink-Dilution Metaphor: If your worries are a drop of ink, dropping it into a cup versus into the ocean makes all the difference. Expanding your life experiences and sensing vastness can dilute everyday pain. Related Books The Power of Now, Awe Related Episodes EP3. Roaming the World: How I Deeply Nurture Myself Through Travel Scan the QR code to unlock more in-depth content 💬 Fan Group | Episode updates, chat, share your "nurturing yourself" moments 📖 Official Account | Untold stories, host columns, written companionship

一边想花钱取悦自己，一边又焦虑养老、大病风险，哪怕坚持存钱，内心依旧没有踏实的安全感？ 作为单身女青年，我们独自打拼、父母渐渐老去，身后无人可以托底，在 “及时行乐” 和 “拼命存钱” 之间反复拉扯，心里还总认定，银行卡里必须达到某个夸张的数字才算拥有安全感。 这期邀请《对账时间》主播毛毛，一个保险经纪人，从花钱不眨眼到系统性财务管理，给自己规划好了未来保障的独立女性，一起聊聊我们如何搭建财务安全系统的话题。 毛毛曾拥有十几年稳定恋情，30多岁分手后才被迫独自扛起房租、医疗、养老所有现实开销；而至卉早早明白只能靠自己，3直到30 岁开始主动摸索财务保障的方法和工具。 我们抛开枯燥理财公式、不推销复杂产品，只用两段真实女生人生，拆解普通人对保险、存钱的全部误解，分享不用压抑欲望的极简管钱办法。 最终想和你说：真正的自我养育，从来不是逼自己攒巨款，而是拥有既能好好取悦当下，也能稳稳守护未来的底气。 本期主播： 至卉：生活在中国，注册营养师兼创业公司产品经理，职业上靠研究食物谋生，生活中靠“用嘴表达”解压，持续探索生活与自我的可能性。ENFJ射手，激情高昂，内心柔软。 本期嘉宾： 毛毛：《对账时间》主播，坐标南京的保险经纪人，独立女性，演讲高手，可盐可甜 时间轴 一、作为单身女性，我们共有的金钱焦虑 02:30 养老焦虑：我老了能住进豪华养老院吗？ 04:28 花钱一时爽，花完又后悔，我怎么还是钱不够多？ 05:44 要存300万才能过得舒坦？现金流比现金量更重要 二、觉醒时刻，我们终于明白什么是未来保障 10:33 毛毛的人生转折点：16 年恋情结束，被迫直面独自生存的所有压力 13:29 至卉的觉醒：30 岁读懂风险，主动配置基础保障 15:54 破除三大保障误区：有钱了才考虑、买保险是纯消费、买了也用不上 19:20 用现在的小额开支，撬动未来更大的保障 24:47 我们还年轻，要从现在就考虑养老的事儿吗？ 三、零基础小白照抄：从0搭建财务安全系统 32:26 存钱与活在当下两者兼得，认真对待钱，钱就认真对待你 34:00 分账户管理实操：毛毛精细分法 VS 小白极简分法 42:38 做预算还是记账？对金钱的事前VS事后管理 46:14 高风险投资要谨慎，也别压抑自己的好奇心 四、安全感的终极来源不止金钱 54:20 安全感不是金钱本身，而是相信自己有能力保障未来 56:20 给新手的终极建议：先配齐基础医疗意外险，稳稳打好保障地基 提到的几个概念 * 损失厌恶：失去一笔钱的难受程度，远大于赚到同等金额的开心，花钱买保险会触发的损失感。 * 现金价值：长期保险逐年累积的保单自有资金，退保可取出，兼具储蓄与保障属性。 * 保险杠杆：每年少量保费，就能撬动几十万医疗、收入补偿的高额保障额度。 往期相关单集 EP10.买口红X买课：两种消费观的碰撞 EP11.富足是感受：从匮乏到滋养，聊聊我们和金钱的关系 置顶图片扫码，解锁更多【养自己啊】深度内容 💬 粉丝群 | 节目更新，聊天交流，分享你的“养自己”瞬间 📖 公众号 | 未讲完的故事，主播专栏，文字版陪伴 Ever caught yourself torn between splurging on little joys and panicking about retirement and medical bills? Even with consistent savings, you never quite feel financially secure. As young single women out here building our careers while our parents grow older, we have no family safety net to fall back on. We swing back and forth between living in the moment and hoarding every penny, convinced we need a massive six-figure bank balance to feel stable. In this chat, I sit down with Maomao, host of Balancing the Books and a professional insurance broker. Once a carefree spender, she’s built a structured money system to secure her future. We share two very different personal journeys, break down common misconceptions around savings and insurance, and share zero-restraint budgeting tactics with no complex formulas or pushy product sales. At the end of the day, self-care through money management isn’t about forcing yourself to hoard huge sums. It’s about building the confidence to treat yourself well today while safeguarding tomorrow. Host: Zhihui A registered dietitian and product lead at a startup based in China. An ENFJ Sagittarius who’s passionate yet soft-hearted, she unpacks life’s possibilities through conversation and food research. Guest: Tiki Mao Host of Balancing the Books, an insurance broker based in Nanjing, and a versatile, independent public speaker. Timestamps Part 1: Shared Money Anxiety for Single Women 02:30 The retirement worry: Can I afford a premium senior living community? 04:28 Instant gratification followed by guilt — why do I never feel like I have enough cash? 05:44 Savings balance vs steady cash flow: The latter brings real peace of mind Part 2: Our Wake-Up Calls — What Real Security Looks Like 10:33 Maomao’s turning point: Ending a 16-year relationship forced her to cover rent, healthcare and retirement alone 13:29 Zhihui’s realization: I started planning for protection at 30 15:54 Three widespread insurance myths debunked 19:20 How small regular premiums unlock massive future coverage 24:47 Is retirement planning necessary when we’re still young? Part 3: Beginner-Friendly Financial Blueprint Anyone Can Copy 32:26 Saving and enjoying life don’t have to be mutually exclusive; respect your money, and it’ll respect you back 34:00 Two budget split methods: Maomao’s detailed system vs simplified beginner version 42:38 Budgeting in advance vs tracking spending after the fact 46:14 High-risk investing: Proceed with caution, and don’t suppress your natural curiosity Part 4: Security Comes From More Than Cash 54:20 True financial peace isn’t the money itself — it’s trust in your ability to provide for your later self 56:20 Core beginner tip: Start with affordable accident & medical insurance to lay your safety foundation Key Terminology Explained 1. Loss Aversion: The pain of losing money outweighs the joy of gaining the same amount, which stops many people from buying insurance. 2. Cash Value: Accumulated funds within permanent insurance policies that you can withdraw upon surrender, combining savings and coverage. 3. Insurance Leverage: Pay modest annual premiums to access large sums of coverage for medical costs or lost income. Related Past Episodes EP10 Lipstick vs Online Courses: Two Conflicting Views on Consumption EP11 Abundance Is a Feeling: Scarcity Mindset & Our Relationship With Money Extra Resources Scan the QR code on the top pinned graphic for exclusive deep content from our show 💬 Fan Community: New episode alerts, casual chats, share your self-care wins 📖 Official Newsletter: Extended stories, host columns, written episode breakdowns

房子是生活的容器，是自我养育的花盆，我们都有自己喜欢的那一款，暂时拥有不了的时候，先松松土、加点营养液、把它挪到有阳光的地方，就已经很好了。 这一期，我们从住过的房子聊起。住过免费豪宅，也蜗居在快捷酒店。被北京看每都楼都是金钱符号、到英国终于租下一整个house。我们心里逐渐有了那个"梦中情房"的模样。 我们要的好像从来不是那套房子，而是住在里面那个舒服、妥帖、慢慢长开的自己。愿这一期，能让此刻正住在一个还不太满意的地方的你，松一口气。 不用急着搬家，为了房子背上太多压力，而是先从换一盏灯、擦一擦那件落了灰的置物架开始，慢慢画出属于自己的梦中情房蓝图。 本期主播： 至卉：生活在中国，注册营养师兼创业公司产品经理，职业上靠研究食物谋生，生活中靠“用嘴表达”解压，持续探索生活与自我的可能性。ENFJ射手，激情高昂，内心柔软。 翠翠：生活在英国，工科博士在读，生活方式试验爱好者，从南京初创公司到北京大厂再到英格兰校园，像河一样流出自己的人生路径。INFJ白羊，平淡内敛，一身反骨。 时间轴 Part 1 从小城的免费豪宅，到整租英国house：我们的住房编年史 * 00:00我们的居住空间也是自我养育里很重要的一部分 * 01:11 至卉的迁徙：毕业免费豪宅→上海蜗居快捷酒店→回家与爸妈生活→精致单身公寓 * 04:45 翠翠的迁徙：跟爸妈住的便利生活→北漂被房租吓呆→英国租下一整个house Part 2 承受度是会被撑大的：租房选择与心理成长 * 09:27 合租大 house 的奔溃瞬间——公用洗衣机的异味恶心到我 * 11:51 为了说服自己整租一个 house，认真写了一页纸的思想斗争 * 13:00 租房的选择和心理成长互相塑造 * 15:21 明明有了大空间，却缩在小角落："我还不敢、不配使用更大的空间" * 17:43 为住房花钱，花了再去挣就好——"省着省着，窟窿等着" Part 3 让房子越来越像自己：改造、养护，和一场百叶窗奇遇 * 18:40 工程师脑上线：把橱柜画成图纸，规划储物空间 * 21:48 从种子开始养的一屋子植物：牛油果、香料、能吃的菜，搭一个"可循环系统" * 23:53 至卉的改造：测量、规划、分区，50平米样样俱全 * 26:11 划分区域，空间整洁，脑子好像也跟着整洁了 * 26:50 百叶窗奇遇：有些东西不是不好，只是缺乏养护，我们的脑子也一样 Part 4 我们要的从来不是那套房子，而是理想生活状态 * 34:40 至卉的梦中情房：大厨房、大阳台、江边与树荫 * 38:06 翠翠的蓝图：书房工作间、爱好角落、满屋植物，旁边一定要有电影院 * 42:00 房子的地段选择，通勤路上能看看小花，就已经足够美好 * 46:31 梦中情房，其实是想要一个"可以选择"生活圈的机会 * 48:07 不一定非要买房，实现理想生活状态有很多途径，因地制宜 * 55:22 房子是养育我们的花盆：挪不动就先松松土、挪到阳光下 本期提到的 王德峰 讲《道德经》——"人法地"，因地制宜地安排自己的生活 神秀偈"时时勤拂拭，莫使惹尘埃"（《六祖坛经》） 往期相关单集 19.野心 | 按自己的意愿过一生，从大胆说出“我想要”开始 17.以人为镜 | 从魅力男性身上，认出自己想长成的形状 05.一个人生活，喜忧参半的自我养育加速器 置顶图片扫码，解锁更多【养自己啊】深度内容 💬 粉丝群 | 节目更新，聊天交流，分享你的“养自己”瞬间 📖 公众号 | 未讲完的故事，主播专栏，文字版陪伴 About This Episode This episode starts with the places we've actually lived — the five-room company flat in Zhenjiang that Zhihui had entirely to herself, the Beijing stretch when every apartment block started looking like a stack of banknotes, the empty rooms Cuicui didn't dare set foot in while flat-sharing in the UK — and works its way toward what our "dream home" really looks like. Somewhere in the talking, we realised: what we're after was never the house itself, but the version of ourselves who gets to live inside it — comfortable, settled, slowly unfurling. The house is our plant pot. When you can't move it, loosening the soil, adding a little feed, and nudging it toward the light are already plenty. May this episode let you — if you're living somewhere that doesn't quite fit right now — breathe out a little. There's no rush to move. Start by changing one lamp, or wiping the dust off that one thing. Your Hosts Zhihui: Lives in China. A registered dietitian and product manager at a startup — she makes her living studying food, and unwinds by "expressing herself through her mouth" (eating and talking, in roughly equal measure), forever exploring what life and the self can become. ENFJ Sagittarius: bright and high-spirited on the outside, soft underneath. Cuicui: Lives in the UK. An engineering PhD candidate and lifestyle-experiment enthusiast — from a Nanjing startup to a Beijing tech giant to a campus in England, she's carved out her own path the way a river finds its course. INFJ Aries: quiet and understated on the surface, with a stubborn streak of rebellion. Timestamps Part 1 From a Free Luxury Apartment in a Small Town to Renting an Entire UK House: Our Housing Chronicle * 00:00 Our living space is also a vital part of self-nurturing. * 01:11 Zhihui’s residential journey: Free luxury apartment after graduation → Cramped budget hotel in Shanghai → Living with parents back home → Exquisite single apartment * 04:45 Cuicui’s residential journey: Convenient life living with parents → Shocked by Beijing’s rental prices as a migrant worker in the capital → Renting an entire house in the UK Part 2 Resilience Grows With Experience: Rental Housing and Personal Growth * 09:27 Breakdown moment of sharing a large house: The unpleasant odor from the shared washing machine made me sick. * 11:51 I wrote a full page of self-persuasion to resolve my inner struggle before deciding to rent an entire house alone. * 13:00 Our choices in housing and our mental growth shape each other mutually. * 15:21 Even with a spacious living space, I still huddle in a tiny corner — I still feel unworthy and hesitant to embrace a bigger space. * 17:43 It’s okay to spend money on housing; we can always earn it back. Saving excessively only leaves us with unforeseen losses. Part 3 Make a House a Home: Renovation, Maintenance and a Serendipity with Blinds * 18:40 Engineering mindset kicked in: I drew blueprints for cabinets to plan the storage space rationally. * 21:48 A house full of plants grown from seeds: avocados, herbs and edible greens, building a self-sustaining mini ecological cycle. * 23:53 Zhihui’s home renovation: Precise measurement, overall planning and functional zoning, making a 50-square-meter space fully equipped for all needs. * 26:11 Zoning the space keeps the room tidy, and my mind feels organized too. * 26:50 A serendipity with blinds: Nothing is inherently flawed; most things just lack proper maintenance — and the same goes for our minds. Part 4 What We Truly Desire Is Never a House, but an Ideal Lifestyle * 34:40 Zhihui’s dream home: A spacious kitchen, a large balcony, overlooking riverside scenery and lush shade trees. * 38:06 Cuicui’s ideal living blueprint: A study and workspace, dedicated hobby corners, rooms filled with plants, and a cinema nearby. * 42:00 When choosing a house location, a commute with glimpses of blooming flowers is enough to bring warmth and joy. * 46:31 A dream home essentially means having the freedom to choose your own social and living circle. * 48:08 Buying a house is not a must. There are various ways to achieve an ideal life, and we should adjust measures to local conditions. * 55:22 A house is like a flower pot that nurtures us. If you cannot move it temporarily, loosen the soil and move it to the sunlight first. Mentioned in This Episode * Wang Defeng's lectures on the Tao Te Ching — "man follows the earth", arranging your life to suit where you are * The Chan (Zen) verse "polish it constantly, let no dust settle" (Platform Sutra) Related Episodes * Ambition | Living life on your own terms starts with daring to say "I want this" * People as Mirrors | Through charismatic men, recognising the shape we quietly want to grow into * Living Alone: a bittersweet accelerator for nurturing yourself

不聊怎么把野心做大，说说我们怎么从"不敢要"，一点点学着把"我想要"说出口。 从小被夸"听话""懂事"，连出去玩都不好意思说想去哪；写得最好的演讲稿被让给了别人，活儿干完了也不敢承认是自己做的——这些我们太熟了。 野心这个词听起来张牙舞爪，可它也可以很具体、很温柔：是一套江边的房子，是想给世界留下一丢丢痕迹，是允许自己挣到钱，也是终于敢报一个配得上自己的价。 在我们实现野心的路上，走着走着，焦虑反而散了——原来不一定要冲到终点才算数，路是一点点走清楚的，过程中也有风景。 愿这一期能让你松一口气：野心不必慌张，它可以是远处的一颗北极星，也可以是此刻脚边刚刚开的一朵小花。 本期主播： 至卉：生活在中国，注册营养师兼创业公司产品经理，职业上靠研究食物谋生，生活中靠“用嘴表达”解压，持续探索生活与自我的可能性。ENFJ射手，激情高昂，内心柔软。 翠翠：生活在英国，工科博士在读，生活方式试验爱好者，从南京初创公司到北京大厂再到英格兰校园，像河一样流出自己的人生路径。INFJ白羊，平淡内敛，一身反骨。 时间轴 Part 1 敢不敢要：野心的地基 * 00:00 今天，我们想聊聊"野心"这个有点带劲的话题 * 00:44 至卉：成长里我们很少被鼓励，大胆说出自己的野心 * 01:07 翠翠：从小被要求听话，出去玩也总在妥协自己的需求 * 02:08 敢不敢要，才是最底层的事——小事都不敢提，野心更别谈 * 02:37 至卉：小学演讲，我写了最好的稿子，却被让给了别人 * 04:04 翠翠：研究助理的活儿干完了95%，却不敢说是我做的 * 05:02 孔融让梨、树大招风、枪打出头鸟 Part 2 世俗的野心与安全感 * 05:31 至卉：你内心最大的渴望，到底是什么？ * 05:56 提到野心，第一反应总是世俗的：年薪百万、大房子 * 06:28 翠翠：我能解决多大的问题，就能带来多大的财富 * 07:21 至卉的梦中情房：40岁，住进江边那个新贵片区 * 09:11 翠翠一个"不太稳妥"的价值观：先把想花的钱花出去，再去找 * 10:11 瑞士那位"玩钱"的朋友：想露宿街头，还得主动努力 * 12:53 不必存满五年才敢享受；而且现在，谁还会饿死呢 * 13:40 至卉：我还真算过——算完发现"仍需努力" Part 3 两种驱动力：愿景与野心 * 14:19 翠翠：一本讲《驱动力》的书——人有两类驱动力 * 15:03 物质满足之后，使命、热爱、好奇心才慢慢长出来 * 15:55 三个支柱：自主、胜任、目的（翠翠还想加第四个：决定要自己做） * 17:19 翠翠：我的野心是按自己的意愿过我的一生 * 17:26 愿景 vs 野心：野心就在眼前，愿景是远方的状态 * 19:51 这句话，其实是当年明月写在《明朝那些事儿》结尾的 * 20:44 读博算不算野心？更多是直觉 * 22:47 闯荡天地的驱动力，是想离开那个让我压抑的环境 Part 4 为了野心，我们做了什么 * 24:17 那就聊聊：为了这些野心，我们都做过什么 * 24:52 至卉更大的野心：改变一丢丢世界，留下一点痕迹 * 25:07 翠翠：这在哲学上，叫"存在主义焦虑" * 25:57 做播客也有世俗的野心——希望有一天能接广告 * 28:06 700个粉就很开心了；想当年70个粉时，我们都要欢呼一下 * 28:47 有野心就去做，先做了再说 * 30:04 "敢"的两个层面：敢想，和敢做 * 30:28 至卉：稻盛和夫说"心想事成"，信念真的很重要 * 31:35 野心不是要拔着头发飞上天，而是努力垫一垫脚就够得着 Part 5 自信、配得感，和敢报高价 * 31:58 不同性格的野心长得不一样，具体务实VS冒险精神 * 33:12 翠翠的察觉：从前我好像"不太允许自己挣到钱" * 34:09 打开一个心结，钱就流进来了 * 35:11 至卉：从金钱羞耻到敢报高价 * 36:54 挑环境也很重要：让那些打压我的人，离我的生活远一点 * 37:30 能力配不上野心时，焦虑就来了；把能力提上来，情绪也就散了 Part 6 一步一步，慢慢走也会到 * 37:50 至卉：从演讲台上那根被嘲笑的"木头"说起 * 38:31 至卉：公司品牌宣讲第一人，背后是一百多次的刻意练习 * 41:01 翠翠：完成博士也一样，能力和野心的差距慢慢缩小 * 43:01 刚上路时，地图前方一片雾，走近了，才看清脚下的下一步 * 45:05 如果能享受每个阶段，那整条路，都是繁花盛开的感觉 * 45:44 远处要有那颗北极星，脚下的风景，也是要看的 这期里提到的 Daniel Pink《Drive》（驱动力）—— Type X / Type I；自主性 autonomy、胜任性 mastery、目的性 purpose 当年明月《明朝那些事儿》——「按照自己的意愿，去度过一生」 稻盛和夫 ——「心想事成」／强烈的念想 存在主义焦虑（想留下点什么） 英国 Researcher Development Framework（研究者能力的多维度拆解） 复现嘉宾 叶帆（水墨画家）—— 人在每个阶段，都有每个阶段的特质与享受 节目里提到的往期单集 🎧 EP18 与焦虑共处 | 不是你不行，是你在走上坡路 置顶名片扫码 解锁更多【养自己啊】深度内容 💬 粉丝群 | 节目更新，聊天交流，分享你的"养自己"瞬间 📖 公众号 | 未讲完的故事，主播专栏，文字版陪伴 Title: Ambition | A Star Ahead, Flowers at Your Feet Intro This episode is about ambition — not how to make yours bigger, but how the two of us, both rather bad at wanting things out loud, slowly learned to say "I want this." Praised as children for being "good" and "sensible", too shy even to say where we'd like to go on a trip; watching the best speech we ever wrote handed to someone else; finishing the work and not daring to admit it was ours — we know all of this far too well. And somewhere in the talking we found that ambition, for all its teeth, can be quite concrete and quite gentle too: a flat by the river, the wish to leave some small mark on the world, letting yourself earn money, finally daring to name a price that's actually worth your while. We also get into why, somewhere along the way, the anxiety quietly lifts — it turns out you don't have to sprint to the finish for it to count; the road grows clearer as you walk it, and flowers open underfoot. If you're somewhere on that climb, we hope this one lets you breathe out: ambition needn't be all rush — it can be a North Star far ahead, and a little flower that's just opened by your feet. Your hosts: Zhihui: Based in China. A registered dietitian and product manager at a start-up — she makes a living studying food, and unwinds by "talking it out", forever exploring the possibilities of life and self. ENFJ, Sagittarius; high-spirited, soft on the inside. Cuicui: Based in the UK. An engineering PhD candidate and devoted life-experiment enthusiast, flowing her own path like a river — from a Nanjing start-up, to a Beijing tech giant, to an English campus. INFJ, Aries; understated and reserved, with a rebel streak. Books Mentioned in This Episode Drive (Daniel Pink) Those Things of the Ming Dynasty (当年明月) Past Episodes Referenced 🎧 EP18