大波福娃 Dat Beauvoir

【聊了什么The What】 “如果有一天，你变成了一只蟑螂，你的妈妈还会爱你吗？” 本期嘉宾“英勇三娃妈”宇宙给大家带来了她在北美养育“一猫一狗一孩”的日常冒险。从处理小孩打群架引发的教育焦虑，到觉察自己如何不自觉地把自己对世界的理解与遗憾投射到孩子身上。面对情绪一点就炸的小孩，我们不断学习、摸索并尝试理解传统男性气质中同时并存的愤怒与脆弱。我们也一路脑洞大开：如果在蟑螂的世界里养小孩，卵鞘一甩就是一窝，那我们会不会更早抵达某种理想中的社会？ If one day you turned into a cockroach, would your mom still love you? Our guest, “the heroic mom of three,” Yuzhou, shares her everyday adventures raising a cat, a dog, and a child in North America. We discuss the parenting anxieties sparked by resolving playground fights and start to notice how we unconsciously project our own understandings of the world—and our regrets—onto our children. When faced with a child overwhelmed by big emotions, we talk about the ongoing process of learning, experimenting, and trying to understand how anger and vulnerability coexist within traditional forms of masculinity. Along the way, we also let our imaginations run wild: if we were raising children in the world of cockroaches—where a single egg case can produce a whole brood—might we arrive at some version of a utopia much sooner? 【时间轴 The When】 * 01:28 小苕的故事：你好小豹豹 * 05:50 回顾和妈妈的关系 * 14:14 天塌了，小孩在学校骂N-word * 16:48 养一个指派性别为男的小孩，我们操碎了心 * 23:41 小豹豹缓解了我的育儿焦虑 * 28:17 小孩说些傻话，也是在测试ta和世界交互的边界 * 33:56 孩子犯错，我真的都能接受吗 * 37:35 学会不把我们对社会的创伤从投射到孩子的言行上 * 43:24 管理易怒小孩的心法 * 48:14 爹的愤怒和脆弱一体两面 * 54:40 妈妈，如果我是蟑螂你会爱我吗 * 58:23 小猫和小孩教给我们的一切 * 1:03:58 生了就好好养吧 * 1:06:46 养小孩就像搞冷圈，不要舞到正主面前 * 1:10:47 螂的诱惑 * 01:28 Shao’s story: Hi, Baobao * 05:50 Looking back at my relationship with my mom * 14:14 My kid said the N-word at school * 16:50 The struggle of raising a child assigned male at birth * 23:41 Baobao relieved my parenting anxiety * 28:17 When kids say silly things, they’re also testing the boundaries of the world * 33:56 Can I really accept every mistake my child made? * 37:35 Learning not to project our trauma onto our kids’ behavior * 43:24 Managing an easily angered child * 48:14 Dad, your anger and vulnerability are two sides of the same coin * 54:40 Mom, if I were a cockroach, would you still love me? * 58:23 Everything kittys and kids taught us * 1:04:00 Raise them well if you have already given birth to them * 1:06:46 Raising a child is like being in a niche fandom—keep your fanfics to yourself * 1:12:41 All the world’s a roach 【拓展链接 The Links】 * Scattered Minds: A New Look at the Origins and Healing of Attention Deficit Disorder by Gabor Maté * Taking Charge of ADHD: The Complete, Authoritative Guide for Parents by Russell A. Barkley * 青衫Neuro 【我们是谁】 大波福娃是一档居家摸鱼常备的酷儿/女性聊天播客。主播小苕(they/them)是一个擅长端盘子的骄傲土豆；酸酸(she/her)是一包先酸后甜的绿色彩虹糖。我们臻选神奇话题，用俏皮犀利的洞察，对话身边怒放的生命。我们希望在坚硬的世界里用声音给所有girls, g@ys, and theys搭建一个柔软安全的颅内客厅，邀请你与我们相聚 ;D Dat Beauvoir is a fun and homey queer feminist podcast. Your host Shao (they/them) is a petite potato who serves, and Suan (she/her) is a bag of zesty green Skittles with the sweetest aftertaste. We handpick wonderfully weird topics and share our wit and wisdom in conversation with the unique souls around us. Through our voices, we hope to build a warm and fuzzy living room for all the girls, g@ys, and theys—just come and hang with us! ;D 本期我们的主播和嘉宾： * 小苕 (it/its)：一个擅长端盘子的骄傲土豆 * 酸酸(she/her)：一包先酸后甜的绿色彩虹糖 * 宇宙：育有一猫一狗一八岁娃的同人女律师 * Shao (it/its): A potato with Chinese characteristics. Can’t be fried or smashed. * Suan (she/her): A bag of zesty green Skittles with the sweetest aftertaste * Yuzhou (she/her): A lawyer and BL fandom creator, proud mom of a cat, a dog, and an 8-year-old. 本期节目由小苕和酸酸制作，Yanny进行音频编辑。小苕设计封面，Ruby设计logo，跑跑制作音乐。 大波福娃是一档由百花传媒出品的播客。 This episode was produced by Shao and Suan, edited by Yanny. Cover design by Shao, logo design by Ruby. Music produced by Runrun. Dat Beauvoir is a podcast produced by Baihua Media. 【支持我们】 如果喜欢这期节目并希望支持我们将节目继续做下去： 众筹平台链接： * Patreon https://www.patreon.com/datbeauvoir * 爱发电 https://afdian.net/a/datbeauvoir 合作投稿邮箱：[email protected] Support on Patreon | 爱发电上赞助

【聊了什么The What】 之前聊过了远距离友谊，这期小苕拉来了两位邻居朋友，把话题拉回到TA们一碗汤距离的全酷儿友邻日常！小时候的邻居是父母人际关系的延伸，上学时期的室友是我们人生的过渡。而成年之后，我们终于开始主动选择谁要站在自己的生活的边界线。从国内到北美，从宿舍到公寓，我们讨论喂饭浇花、互相投喂、一起做饭的默契，也聊到一起打牌、看电影、爬山的娱乐时刻。温馨的生活在合作和协商中悄然搭建，希望你在收听的时候也能感受到这种可爱的氛围！ We previously talked about long-distance friendships. In this episode, Shao invited two neighbors to bring the conversation back to their everyday lives as all-queer neighbors living just a bowl of soup away. As children, neighbors were extensions of our parents’ social networks; during school, roommates felt like transitions in our lives; and in adulthood, we finally begin to choose who stands at the boundaries of our own lives. From China to North America, from dorms to apartments, through our every-day exchanges of care, a warm life is quietly built through cooperation and negotiation. We hope to share this warm atmosphere as you listen! 【时间轴 The When】 * 3:31 小时候是如何理解邻居关系 * 9:26 我们的动物邻居故事 * 18:30 上学时期的室友关系 * 29:10 南方人在北美学包饺子 * 35:00 如何分配厨房里的活儿 * 40:42 离家之后重获自由地掼蛋 * 45:33 分享精选抽象视频 * 50:10 爬山局的小插曲 * 55:27 邻居是我们好好生活的底气 * 3:31 How we understood the concept of neighbors as kids * 9:26 Animals as neighbors * 18:30 Roommates back in school * 29:10 Southerners learned to make dumplings in North America * 35:00 How we divided chores in the kitchen * 40:42 Reclaiming card games away from home * 45:33 Sharing TikToks and memes * 50:10 Small conflict during hiking trip * 55:27 Neighbors, the foundation of a good life 【我们是谁】 大波福娃是一档居家摸鱼常备的酷儿/女性聊天播客。主播小苕(they/them)是一个擅长端盘子的骄傲土豆；酸酸(she/her)是一包先酸后甜的绿色彩虹糖。我们臻选神奇话题，用俏皮犀利的洞察，对话身边怒放的生命。我们希望在坚硬的世界里用声音给所有girls, g@ys, and theys搭建一个柔软安全的颅内客厅，邀请你与我们相聚 ;D Dat Beauvoir is a fun and homey queer feminist podcast. Your host Shao (they/them) is a petite potato who serves, and Suan (she/her) is a bag of zesty green Skittles with the sweetest aftertaste. We handpick wonderfully weird topics and share our wit and wisdom in conversation with the unique souls around us. Through our voices, we hope to build a warm and fuzzy living room for all the girls, g@ys, and theys—just come and hang with us! ;D 本期我们的主播和嘉宾： * 小苕 (it/its)：一个擅长端盘子的骄傲土豆 * 酸酸(she/her)：一包先酸后甜的绿色彩虹糖 * 小伯：一只喜欢赖在邻居家不走的伯恩山 * 仙贝：一枚海苔味儿的仙贝 Our hosts and guests: * Shao (it/its): A potato with Chinese characteristics. Can’t be fried or smashed. * Suan (she/her): A bag of zesty green Skittles with the sweetest aftertaste * Bo: A Bernese Mountain Dog who doesn’t want to leave the neighbor’s place * Xianbei: A nori-flavored senbei 本期节目由小苕和酸酸制作，Yanny 进行音频编辑。Ruby 设计封面，跑跑制作音乐。 大波福娃是一档由百花传媒出品的播客。 This episode was produced by Shao and Suan, edited by Yanny. Logo design by Ruby. Music produced by Runrun. Dat Beauvoir is a podcast produced by Baihua Media. 【支持我们】 如果喜欢这期节目并希望支持我们将节目继续做下去： 众筹平台链接： * Patreon https://www.patreon.com/datbeauvoir * 爱发电 https://afdian.net/a/datbeauvoir 合作投稿邮箱：[email protected] Support on Patreon | 爱发电上赞助

【聊了什么The What】 如果你正在北美受着签证之苦，夜深人静的时候你是否也刷着日本探店vlog、拉美旅游攻略，期待着哪天脱离苦海，四处逍遥？这期小苕邀请了两位分别在英美生活过，如今跑路日本和阿根廷的朋友，聊了聊在当地的生活和思考。我们吐槽了两地的文化糟粕，也聊到日常中的幸福点滴。这份离开的决定需要我们诚实面对自己的直觉和感受，拿出相当的勇气与决心。收听愉快！本期节目为个人经历和感受分享，不构成任何建议，请谨慎参考！ If you're stuck in North America grappling with visa issues, do you also find yourself late at night scrolling through Japanese shop tour vlogs or Latin American travel guides, dreaming of the day you can finally break free and wander the world? In this episode, Xiaotiao invites two friends who have each lived in the UK and the US, but have since “run away” to Japan and Argentina. We chat about life and reflections in those countries, complain about some of the cultural downsides, and also share the small joys of everyday life. Making the decision to leave requires us to be honest with our intuition and feelings—and to muster a good deal of courage and determination. Enjoy the episode! This episode is a personal account of experiences and reflections. It does not constitute any advice. Please proceed with caution! 【时间轴 The When】 4:49 来到阿根廷的契机和生活日常 10:12 初来异乡，命运般的亲切感 23:33 透过剑道近距离观察日本人的价值观 27:03 前后辈的角色扮演，从社团到公司 38:55 女生试图融入日本社会的后果是过年被发配到厨房 47:57 在日本做好外国人，也做一个好外国人 57:54 「Chamuyero」：阿根廷人的满嘴跑火车观察 1:03:26 「各个国家直男的魅力来自于他们厌女的方式」 1:09:47 阿根廷那些破碎的婚姻，流动的家庭，缺失的情感支持 1:28:38 当客观正确的人生选择不再能给我带来幸福感和安全感 1:35:39 寻找人生的例外 1:44:27 回看一润的经历，我学会了什么 1:49:52 花火大会和大自然，我为自己争取的治愈日常 4:49 – The opportunity that brought Jiayue to Argentina and her daily life there 10:12 – A fateful sense of familiarity upon arriving in a foreign land 23:33 – Observing Japanese values up close through Kendo 27:03 – The roles of senior and junior in Japan: from clubs to companies 38:55 – When girls try to fit into Japanese society, they end up being sent to the kitchen during New Year 47:57 – how to do well as a foreigner in Japan, and be a good foreigner as one 57:54 – "Chamuyero": Observations on the sweet-talking Argentinians 1:03:26 – "The charm of straight men from different countries lies in their unique ways of being misogynistic" 1:09:47 – Argentina's broken marriages, fluid families, and lack of emotional support for individuals 1:28:38 – When life choices conforming social norms no longer bring me happiness or a sense of security 1:35:39 – Searching for exceptions in life 1:44:27 – Looking back at my first escape to a foreign country and what I’ve learned 1:49:52 – Fireworks festivals and nature — the healing everyday moments I’ve carved out for myself 【关注我们 Our Socials】 大波福娃 Dat Beauvoir Instagram: 大波福娃 Dat Beauvoir Threads 【我们是谁】 大波福娃是一档出梗下饭的女子脱口秀节目，这里聚集了一群在海外生活的女权主义者，我们通过嬉笑怒骂的方式观察世界，调侃父权。我们希望通过播客的形式鼓励更多的酷儿、女性讲述自己的故事，用笑声对抗禁忌，用幽默消解规训。 Dat Beauvoir is a podcast centered around female and queer joy. Our mission is to challenge outdated stereotypes about feminists and feminism through thoughtful and lighthearted conversations. We hope to empower our listeners to share their stories, own their truth, and channel their rage at the patriarchy into something they can laugh about. Hosted by 小苕 — a member of the Chinese diaspora living abroad—we bring fresh perspectives and unapologetic laughs to every episode. While we don’t take ourselves too seriously, we’re fully committed to delivering stories that're bold, thoughtful, and refreshingly disruptive. 本期我们的主播和嘉宾： 小苕 (it/its)：一颗坡塔头，最近的自我认同为大盘鸡里烂乎乎的入味儿土豆。 佳玥 (she/her)：在布宜诺斯艾利斯夜间舞会出没的老牌剑客，最近开始在二元对立中探索自我和他人疗愈。 馍馍 (she/her)：生活在东京的碳水化物。梦想是成为角落生物里的水龙。 Our hosts and guests: Shao (it/its): A potato with Chinese characteristics. Can’t be fried or smashed. Jiayue (she/her): A seasoned swordswoman often spotted at milongas in Buenos Aires, currently exploring self and collective healing. Momo (she/her): Carbohydrate living in Tokyo, whose dream is to become Tokage in Sumikko Gurashi (Corner Creatures). 本期节目由Zizhu制作，Hazel进行音频编辑。小苕设计封面，Ruby设计logo，跑跑制作音乐。 大波福娃是一档由百花传媒出品的播客。 This episode was produced by Zizhu, edited by Hazel. Visual design by Shao, logo design by Ruby. Music produced by Runrun. Dat Beauvoir is a podcast produced by Baihua Media. 【支持我们】 如果喜欢这期节目并希望支持我们将节目继续做下去： 众筹平台链接： * Patreon https://www.patreon.com/datbeauvoir * 爱发电 https://afdian.net/a/datbeauvoir 合作投稿邮箱：[email protected] Support on Patreon | 爱发电上赞助

【聊了什么The What】 没有爱情可以，没有朋友绝对不行！在我们和朋友都不断迁徙的情况下，总会面临无数的相遇和分别，本期小苕请来了三位相隔千里的朋友来聊一聊各自的远距离友谊。我们讨论了物理距离带来的挑战与惊喜，分享了那些让友谊继续或者不继续的小技巧，大家收听愉快! Romantic love can be optional, but friendships are essential to our adult life. In a world where both we and our friends are constantly on the move, we have to navigate through moments of separation and reunion. In this episode, Shao invited three friends to discuss their experiences with long-distance friendships. We discuss the challenges and surprises brought by physical distance, and share the little tricks that help friendships continue—or not. 【时间轴 The When】 03:58 写一篇小作文，跟朋友分手 12:51 纹身师与公务员发小：兜兜转转的友谊 18:25 从高中开始每个月交换书信，我学会分享脆弱 24:47 三胞胎一样的宝藏室友 32:25 远距离友谊靠互发搞笑视频维系 39:15 缘定卤鸡腿：食物让我们相聚 45:13 钓螃蟹和打桑葚：那个完全活在当下的朋友 51:20 再熟都一定要好好表达感谢 01:02:51 如何坦诚地结束一段友谊？ 01:23:55 需要远距离朋友在身边的时刻怎么办？ 01:27:30 莫愁前路无知己 03:58 Drafting that message to break up with a friend 12:51 Tattoo artist and her childhood friend: friendship with detours 18:25 Exchanging letters monthly since high school: Learning to share vulnerability 24:47 My roommates and I are like triplets 32:25 Pebbling with memes and TikTok videos 39:15 Bonded over braised chicken legs: Food brings us together 45:13 That friend who lives completely in the moment 51:20 Appreciation matters 01:02:51 How to end a (long-distance) friendship 01:23:55 What do you do when you need your long-distance friend by your side? 01:27:30 “Fear not the road ahead without a friend” 【拓展链接 The Links】 小红书：陈土豆 【关注我们 Our Socials】 大波福娃 Dat Beauvoir Instagram: 大波福娃 Dat Beauvoir Threads 【我们是谁 Who We Are】 大波福娃是一档出梗下饭的女子脱口秀节目，这里聚集了一群在海外生活的女权主义者，我们通过嬉笑怒骂的方式观察世界，调侃父权。我们希望通过播客的形式鼓励更多的酷儿、女性讲述自己的故事，用笑声对抗禁忌，用幽默消解规训。 Dat Beauvoir is a podcast centered around female and queer joy. Our mission is to challenge outdated stereotypes about feminists and feminism through thoughtful and lighthearted conversations. We hope to empower our listeners to share their stories, own their truth, and channel their rage at the patriarchy into something they can laugh about. 本期我们的主播和嘉宾： 小苕 (it/its)：一颗坡塔头，最近的自我认同为东北大饭包里的土豆泥。 酸酸 (she/her)：指一开始品尝的味道，酸味过去之后会随机变甜或变辣，good luck 咚咚 (she/they)：如果需要跟她闲聊超过半小时电话请提前预约，谢谢合作 腰子 (she/they)：一只缓慢生长爬行的虫，但没有在期待长出翅膀 Our hosts and guests: Shao (it/its): A potato with Chinese characteristics. Can’t be fried or smashed. Sour (she/her): refers to the taste at the beginning. After the sour taste passes, it will randomly become sweet or spicy. Good luck! Dongdong (she/they): for chats over 30 mins, please book ahead. Thanks for your cooperation. Yaozi (she/they): an insect crawling slowly without thinking of the tegmina growing. 本期节目由Zizhu制作，Hazel进行音频编辑。小苕设计封面，Ruby设计logo，跑跑制作音乐。 大波福娃是一档由百花传媒出品的播客。 This episode was produced by Zizhu, edited by Hazel. Visual design by Shao, logo design by Ruby. Music produced by Runrun. Dat Beauvoir is a podcast produced by Baihua Media. 【支持我们】 如果喜欢这期节目并希望支持我们将节目继续做下去： 众筹平台链接： * Patreon * 爱发电 合作投稿邮箱：[email protected] Support on Patreon | 爱发电上赞助