大波福娃 Dat Beauvoir

【聊了什么The What】 这一期，我们捕捉了两位身在纽约却互不认识的陕西酷儿，相认的瞬间！ 主播小苕认识两位朋友许久，一直想介绍他们认识却苦于没有线下的机会。我们忍不住架起麦克风，紧急策划了这场大型认亲现场！从西安到纽约，从方言到身份认同，从艺术创作到异乡生活，从肉夹馍聊到坟墓——我们为什么离开故乡，故乡究竟有没有离开我们？ In this episode, we capture the moment when two queer folks from Shaanxi—both living in New York but complete strangers to each other—finally meet! Shao has known both of them for some time and has always wanted to introduce them, but never had the chance to get everyone together in person. So we couldn't resist setting up the mics as well as this long-overdue “family reunion”! From Xi'an to New York, from dialects to identity, from artistic practice to immigrant life, from Roujiamo sandwiches to cemeteries—we ask: Why did we leave home? And has home ever really left us? 【时间轴 The When】 * 1:50 想介绍朋友认识的契机 * 3:30 单独前采时间：对方的ins初印象 * 9:55 我究竟算陕西人吗？ * 12:25 平行人生的我会在哪里 * 18:04 单边耳钉，戴左耳还是右耳才是gay？ * 24:50 充满乡愁的酥皮潼关肉夹馍，纽约已经可以买到 * 34:15 山西人给陕西道歉！ * 36:15 如何和美国人解释陕西是哪里 * 38:30 辩论时间！纽约完全就是西安vs纽约完全不是西安 * 41:33 纽约的坟头蹦迪文化 * 47:35 酸酸：我的朋友不敢和我出柜 * 52:07 「儿子，你要解决你的个人问题」 * 1:50 What inspired this long-awaited introduction? * 3:30 Pre-meeting interviews: first impressions from stalking each other's Instagram * 9:55 Am I Shaanxi enough to call myself a Shaanxi person? * 12:25 Where would I be in a parallel universe? * 18:04 Which ear is the gay ear? * 24:50 Where to get the crispy Tongguan-style Roujiamo in New York * 34:15 Shanxi folks have to apologize to Shaanxi * 36:15 How do you explain Shaanxi to Americans? * 38:30 Debate time! "New York is totally Xi'an" vs. "New York is totally NOT Xi'an" * 41:33 New York taught us to party in the cemetery * 47:35 Suan: "My friend didn’t dare to come out to me." * 52:07 "Son, you need to figure out your 'personal issues’” 【我们是谁】 大波福娃是一档居家摸鱼常备的酷儿/女性聊天播客。主播小苕(they/them)是一个擅长端盘子的骄傲土豆；酸酸(she/her)是一包先酸后甜的绿色彩虹糖。我们臻选神奇话题，用俏皮犀利的洞察，对话身边怒放的生命。我们希望在坚硬的世界里用声音给所有girls, g@ys, and theys搭建一个柔软安全的颅内客厅，邀请你与我们相聚 ;D Dat Beauvoir is a fun and homey queer feminist podcast. Your host Shao (they/them) is a petite potato who serves, and Suan (she/her) is a bag of zesty green Skittles with the sweetest aftertaste. We handpick wonderfully weird topics and share our wit and wisdom in conversation with the unique souls around us. Through our voices, we hope to build a warm and fuzzy living room for all the girls, g@ys, and theys—just come and hang with us! ;D 本期我们的主播和嘉宾： * 小苕 (it/its)：一个擅长端盘子的骄傲土豆 * 酸酸 (she/her)：一包先酸后甜的绿色彩虹糖 * 小卡 (he/him)： 一个不知道自己是什么动物的男的 * 柿子(he/hey)：听石狮子说这颗心是蓝绿色的柿子还没决定是不是时候落地 Our hosts and guests: * Shao (it/its): A potato with Chinese characteristics. Can’t be fried or smashed * Suan (she/her): A bag of zesty green Skittles with the sweetest aftertaste * Capy (he/him): someone who can not figure out what animal to identify as * Shizi (he/hey): a sea lion said this turquoise-hearted persimmon hasn’t figured out its mission 本期节目由小苕和酸酸制作，Yanny进行音频编辑。小苕设计封面，Ruby设计logo，跑跑制作音乐。 大波福娃是一档由百花传媒出品的播客。 This episode was produced by Shao and Suan, edited by Yanny. Cover design by Shao, logo design by Ruby. Music produced by Runrun. Dat Beauvoir is a podcast produced by Baihua Media. 【支持我们】 如果喜欢这期节目并希望支持我们将节目继续做下去： 众筹平台链接： * Patreon https://www.patreon.com/datbeauvoir * 爱发电 https://afdian.net/a/datbeauvoir 合作投稿邮箱：[email protected] Support on Patreon | 爱发电上赞助

【聊了什么The What】 本期酸酸带来她的全新脑洞： 算命的说我35岁有命劫（不只是被优化）——既然可能会死，那不得抓紧写本书！ 今年的4月5号，清明节和复活节在同一天。这一期，我们邀请了两位做书的朋友一起头脑风暴。酸酸在“余命五年”的设定里，下定决心给自己做一本书——从青春到欲望， 从简历到同学录，从死到生。我们从从外公跨越几十年的家书，聊到每个人祭奠亲人的方式——普通人的一生也可以被认真纪念和记录。死期不一定准，但deadline已经有了！ 酸酸：如果我真35岁没了，记得给我的书打五星好评 ;D In this episode, Suan lets her ideas run wild: A fortune teller told me I’d face a life-threatening crisis at 35 (not just getting laid off). If I’m about to die soon, I gotta hurry up and write myself a book! This year, April 5th marks both Easter and Qingming Festival. We invited two friends who work in graphic design and publishing to join us for a brainstorming session. Assuming there are only five years left to live, Suan decides to make a book for herself—one that spans from youth to desires, from resume to yearbook, from death to birth. From Suan’s grandfather’s letters written across decades, we discuss how each of us remembers the people we’ve lost. Any modest life deserves to be carefully documented and commemorated. The date of death may be uncertain—but the deadline is already set! Suan: If I really die at 35, please remember to give my book a five-star review ;D 【时间轴 The When】 * 1:03 算命的说我35岁有一个命劫，是时候做一本人生之书 * 9:05 如何纪念亲人：我和牛祖母一起走出沙漠 * 22:04 简历也是一种自传 * 28:53 知耻近乎勇：外公的忏悔书 * 36:15 病例，看我怎么死 * 37:46 孩子，看我怎么生 * 42:39 想让朋友们给我填同学录 * 45:05 形式的脑洞：排版和装帧 * 53:27 人生之书应该叫什么 * 55:00 项目立项！ * 1:03 A fortune teller said I’d face a life-threatening crisis at 35—it’s time to make my “book of life” * 9:05 Remembering loved ones: my Cow Grandma and I walked out of the desert together * 22:04 Isn’t a resume a kind of autobiography? * 28:53 Knowing shame takes courage: my grandpa’s letter of confession * 36:15 Medical records: how I might die * 37:46 Children: how I might give birth * 42:39 I want my friends to fill out a yearbook for me * 45:05 Wild ideas about forms: typesetting and binding * 53:27 What should this “book of life” be called? * 55:00 Project launch! 【拓展链接 The Links】 * 动画短片《妹妹》宋思琪 * 《暮色将尽》戴安娜·阿西尔 * 《不裁》朱赢椿（设计） * 《清算已毕》波伏瓦 * 《人生不怕从头再来》刘晓庆 * Somewhere Towards the End: A Memoir by Diana Anthill * Stitched Up book design by Zhu Yingchun * All said and done by Simone de Beauvoir * Never Be Afraid to Start Over by Liu Xiaoqing 【我们是谁】 大波福娃是一档居家摸鱼常备的酷儿/女性聊天播客。主播小苕(they/them)是一个擅长端盘子的骄傲土豆；酸酸(she/her)是一包先酸后甜的绿色彩虹糖。我们臻选神奇话题，用俏皮犀利的洞察，对话身边怒放的生命。我们希望在坚硬的世界里用声音给所有girls, g@ys, and theys搭建一个柔软安全的颅内客厅，邀请你与我们相聚 ;D Dat Beauvoir is a fun and homey queer feminist podcast. Your host Shao (they/them) is a petite potato who serves, and Suan (she/her) is a bag of zesty green Skittles with the sweetest aftertaste. We handpick wonderfully weird topics and share our wit and wisdom in conversation with the unique souls around us. Through our voices, we hope to build a warm and fuzzy living room for all the girls, g@ys, and theys—just come and hang with us! ;D 本期我们的主播和嘉宾： * 小苕 (it/its)：一个擅长端盘子的骄傲土豆 * 酸酸 (she/her)：一包先酸后甜的绿色彩虹糖 * 小麦 (she/her)：每天都在开高速的专注版式设计的平面设计师 * 大炮 (she/her)：看起来鬼点子很多的，专注书籍的数字媒体设计师 Our hosts and guests: * Shao (it/its): A potato with Chinese characteristics. Can’t be fried or smashed * Suan (she/her): A bag of zesty green Skittles with the sweetest aftertaste * Xiaomai (she/her): A graphic designer focused on editorial design, speeding down the highway everyday * Dapao (she/her): A digital media designer specializing in books, full of wild ideas 本期节目由小苕和酸酸制作，Yanny进行音频编辑。小苕设计封面，Ruby设计logo，跑跑制作音乐。 大波福娃是一档由百花传媒出品的播客。 This episode was produced by Shao and Suan, edited by Yanny. Cover design by Shao, logo design by Ruby. Music produced by Runrun. Dat Beauvoir is a podcast produced by Baihua Media. 【支持我们】 如果喜欢这期节目并希望支持我们将节目继续做下去： 众筹平台链接： * Patreon https://www.patreon.com/datbeauvoir * 爱发电 https://afdian.net/a/datbeauvoir 合作投稿邮箱：[email protected] Support on Patreon | 爱发电上赞助

【聊了什么The What】 “如果有一天，你变成了一只蟑螂，你的妈妈还会爱你吗？” 本期嘉宾“英勇三娃妈”宇宙给大家带来了她在北美养育“一猫一狗一孩”的日常冒险。从处理小孩打群架引发的教育焦虑，到觉察自己如何不自觉地把自己对世界的理解与遗憾投射到孩子身上。面对情绪一点就炸的小孩，我们不断学习、摸索并尝试理解传统男性气质中同时并存的愤怒与脆弱。我们也一路脑洞大开：如果在蟑螂的世界里养小孩，卵鞘一甩就是一窝，那我们会不会更早抵达某种理想中的社会？ If one day you turned into a cockroach, would your mom still love you? Our guest, “the heroic mom of three,” Yuzhou, shares her everyday adventures raising a cat, a dog, and a child in North America. We discuss the parenting anxieties sparked by resolving playground fights and start to notice how we unconsciously project our own understandings of the world—and our regrets—onto our children. When faced with a child overwhelmed by big emotions, we talk about the ongoing process of learning, experimenting, and trying to understand how anger and vulnerability coexist within traditional forms of masculinity. Along the way, we also let our imaginations run wild: if we were raising children in the world of cockroaches—where a single egg case can produce a whole brood—might we arrive at some version of a utopia much sooner? 【时间轴 The When】 * 01:28 小苕的故事：你好小豹豹 * 05:50 回顾和妈妈的关系 * 14:14 天塌了，小孩在学校骂N-word * 16:48 养一个指派性别为男的小孩，我们操碎了心 * 23:41 小豹豹缓解了我的育儿焦虑 * 28:17 小孩说些傻话，也是在测试ta和世界交互的边界 * 33:56 孩子犯错，我真的都能接受吗 * 37:35 学会不把我们对社会的创伤从投射到孩子的言行上 * 43:24 管理易怒小孩的心法 * 48:14 爹的愤怒和脆弱一体两面 * 54:40 妈妈，如果我是蟑螂你会爱我吗 * 58:23 小猫和小孩教给我们的一切 * 1:03:58 生了就好好养吧 * 1:06:46 养小孩就像搞冷圈，不要舞到正主面前 * 1:10:47 螂的诱惑 * 01:28 Shao’s story: Hi, Baobao * 05:50 Looking back at my relationship with my mom * 14:14 My kid said the N-word at school * 16:50 The struggle of raising a child assigned male at birth * 23:41 Baobao relieved my parenting anxiety * 28:17 When kids say silly things, they’re also testing the boundaries of the world * 33:56 Can I really accept every mistake my child made? * 37:35 Learning not to project our trauma onto our kids’ behavior * 43:24 Managing an easily angered child * 48:14 Dad, your anger and vulnerability are two sides of the same coin * 54:40 Mom, if I were a cockroach, would you still love me? * 58:23 Everything kittys and kids taught us * 1:04:00 Raise them well if you have already given birth to them * 1:06:46 Raising a child is like being in a niche fandom—keep your fanfics to yourself * 1:12:41 All the world’s a roach 【拓展链接 The Links】 * Scattered Minds: A New Look at the Origins and Healing of Attention Deficit Disorder by Gabor Maté * Taking Charge of ADHD: The Complete, Authoritative Guide for Parents by Russell A. Barkley * 青衫Neuro 【我们是谁】 大波福娃是一档居家摸鱼常备的酷儿/女性聊天播客。主播小苕(they/them)是一个擅长端盘子的骄傲土豆；酸酸(she/her)是一包先酸后甜的绿色彩虹糖。我们臻选神奇话题，用俏皮犀利的洞察，对话身边怒放的生命。我们希望在坚硬的世界里用声音给所有girls, g@ys, and theys搭建一个柔软安全的颅内客厅，邀请你与我们相聚 ;D Dat Beauvoir is a fun and homey queer feminist podcast. Your host Shao (they/them) is a petite potato who serves, and Suan (she/her) is a bag of zesty green Skittles with the sweetest aftertaste. We handpick wonderfully weird topics and share our wit and wisdom in conversation with the unique souls around us. Through our voices, we hope to build a warm and fuzzy living room for all the girls, g@ys, and theys—just come and hang with us! ;D 本期我们的主播和嘉宾： * 小苕 (it/its)：一个擅长端盘子的骄傲土豆 * 酸酸(she/her)：一包先酸后甜的绿色彩虹糖 * 宇宙：育有一猫一狗一八岁娃的同人女律师 * Shao (it/its): A potato with Chinese characteristics. Can’t be fried or smashed. * Suan (she/her): A bag of zesty green Skittles with the sweetest aftertaste * Yuzhou (she/her): A lawyer and BL fandom creator, proud mom of a cat, a dog, and an 8-year-old. 本期节目由小苕和酸酸制作，Yanny进行音频编辑。小苕设计封面，Ruby设计logo，跑跑制作音乐。 大波福娃是一档由百花传媒出品的播客。 This episode was produced by Shao and Suan, edited by Yanny. Cover design by Shao, logo design by Ruby. Music produced by Runrun. Dat Beauvoir is a podcast produced by Baihua Media. 【支持我们】 如果喜欢这期节目并希望支持我们将节目继续做下去： 众筹平台链接： * Patreon https://www.patreon.com/datbeauvoir * 爱发电 https://afdian.net/a/datbeauvoir 合作投稿邮箱：[email protected] Support on Patreon | 爱发电上赞助

【聊了什么The What】 之前聊过了远距离友谊，这期小苕拉来了两位邻居朋友，把话题拉回到TA们一碗汤距离的全酷儿友邻日常！小时候的邻居是父母人际关系的延伸，上学时期的室友是我们人生的过渡。而成年之后，我们终于开始主动选择谁要站在自己的生活的边界线。从国内到北美，从宿舍到公寓，我们讨论喂饭浇花、互相投喂、一起做饭的默契，也聊到一起打牌、看电影、爬山的娱乐时刻。温馨的生活在合作和协商中悄然搭建，希望你在收听的时候也能感受到这种可爱的氛围！ We previously talked about long-distance friendships. In this episode, Shao invited two neighbors to bring the conversation back to their everyday lives as all-queer neighbors living just a bowl of soup away. As children, neighbors were extensions of our parents’ social networks; during school, roommates felt like transitions in our lives; and in adulthood, we finally begin to choose who stands at the boundaries of our own lives. From China to North America, from dorms to apartments, through our every-day exchanges of care, a warm life is quietly built through cooperation and negotiation. We hope to share this warm atmosphere as you listen! 【时间轴 The When】 * 3:31 小时候是如何理解邻居关系 * 9:26 我们的动物邻居故事 * 18:30 上学时期的室友关系 * 29:10 南方人在北美学包饺子 * 35:00 如何分配厨房里的活儿 * 40:42 离家之后重获自由地掼蛋 * 45:33 分享精选抽象视频 * 50:10 爬山局的小插曲 * 55:27 邻居是我们好好生活的底气 * 3:31 How we understood the concept of neighbors as kids * 9:26 Animals as neighbors * 18:30 Roommates back in school * 29:10 Southerners learned to make dumplings in North America * 35:00 How we divided chores in the kitchen * 40:42 Reclaiming card games away from home * 45:33 Sharing TikToks and memes * 50:10 Small conflict during hiking trip * 55:27 Neighbors, the foundation of a good life 【我们是谁】 大波福娃是一档居家摸鱼常备的酷儿/女性聊天播客。主播小苕(they/them)是一个擅长端盘子的骄傲土豆；酸酸(she/her)是一包先酸后甜的绿色彩虹糖。我们臻选神奇话题，用俏皮犀利的洞察，对话身边怒放的生命。我们希望在坚硬的世界里用声音给所有girls, g@ys, and theys搭建一个柔软安全的颅内客厅，邀请你与我们相聚 ;D Dat Beauvoir is a fun and homey queer feminist podcast. Your host Shao (they/them) is a petite potato who serves, and Suan (she/her) is a bag of zesty green Skittles with the sweetest aftertaste. We handpick wonderfully weird topics and share our wit and wisdom in conversation with the unique souls around us. Through our voices, we hope to build a warm and fuzzy living room for all the girls, g@ys, and theys—just come and hang with us! ;D 本期我们的主播和嘉宾： * 小苕 (it/its)：一个擅长端盘子的骄傲土豆 * 酸酸(she/her)：一包先酸后甜的绿色彩虹糖 * 小伯：一只喜欢赖在邻居家不走的伯恩山 * 仙贝：一枚海苔味儿的仙贝 Our hosts and guests: * Shao (it/its): A potato with Chinese characteristics. Can’t be fried or smashed. * Suan (she/her): A bag of zesty green Skittles with the sweetest aftertaste * Bo: A Bernese Mountain Dog who doesn’t want to leave the neighbor’s place * Xianbei: A nori-flavored senbei 本期节目由小苕和酸酸制作，Yanny 进行音频编辑。Ruby 设计封面，跑跑制作音乐。 大波福娃是一档由百花传媒出品的播客。 This episode was produced by Shao and Suan, edited by Yanny. Logo design by Ruby. Music produced by Runrun. Dat Beauvoir is a podcast produced by Baihua Media. 【支持我们】 如果喜欢这期节目并希望支持我们将节目继续做下去： 众筹平台链接： * Patreon https://www.patreon.com/datbeauvoir * 爱发电 https://afdian.net/a/datbeauvoir 合作投稿邮箱：[email protected] Support on Patreon | 爱发电上赞助