57 非(要)暴力沟通?两个实践者的深谈(feat. 凉意)

从备菜到炒菜,一次根植于当下的深度对话。 Shownotes 1:00 录播客前的“备菜”过程 11:41 万事皆容器,搭好容器骂人也可以很安全 18:00 察觉到不想再过这样的生活,是非常困难的 22:22 脱离走脑,走心直面真实的需要 27:30 同理心到底是什么? 32:00 偏不想非暴力沟通的时刻 38:40 把Circling团队收到的负面反馈当成拓宽边界的机会 40:27 非暴力沟通的是“好人”人格,其它人格却想要乱来 48:00 存在即虐恋——人有追求不幸的权利,在不幸里也有愉悦 51:00 我们可以吹捧自己! 58:18 人们承受痛苦的能力远大于承受快乐的能力,舒展轻盈会莫名吓到我们 62:22 Jess:为什么会从非暴力沟通到Circling 70:10 无理取闹的样子其实是创伤被触发的样子 78:35 非暴力沟通初学者的不服:凭什么总是我去善解人意!? 82:37 情侣间翻旧账是因为曾经跨越了自己的边界 84:21 照顾自己很容易被引导成任性,不顾他人感受 87:25 像帆船纠正航向,偏着走,才能到你想去的地方 89:10 怎样找到最适合的提请求的味道? 93:57 非暴力沟通中容易被忽略掉的重要理念:自然的给予 100:20 去两个极端摆荡后,自然知道请求该怎么表达 107:53 We are we, we are one. BGM Snatam Kaur - Mul Mantra The Beatles - Here Comes the Sun 欢迎加入圈圈社群: circlingquanquan.com 爱发电上赞助

120分钟
5k+
3年前

54 你也有“勤奋后遗症”吗?

很多人心中都有两个小人,一个说“我要拼!”,一个说,“我要躺!” 回想我自己的奋斗历程,好像前者主导太多,如今后者患上了“勤奋后遗症”,一自律就反抗。 于是本期节目我请来了我们社群的一位“不愿勤奋”的带领者Ling,和勤奋做视频教人赚钱的Rachel,来一起聊聊勤奋和勤奋后遗症。 BGM "Everything Is Just a Mess" by The Brook & The Bluff Shownotes 06:00 你生命中最勤奋的时候是什么样子? 14:50 一份迷思:“现在要是能像过去那样努力,就会更厉害” 18:00 勤奋只是特别小的一个因素,认知、能力、策略、方向或许更重要 23:03 内容创作者回看自己的作品,大多会感到不满(吗?) 30:06 我们为何有了“勤奋后遗症” 34:25 回不去毕业前的样子,恰恰是件好事 37:58 “苦”的美学意义 40:03 讲究传承的技艺里,都会用吃苦来达到“臣服” 44:43 弗洛姆的“逃避自由”,和尼采的“超人” 47:35 自由的副产品是迷茫 50:23 说自己不勤奋,背后是“渴望活在深刻的激情中” 51:05 激情或时机或许会来得自然而然,但很多人都不敢等待,害怕“我不动就是在倒退” 58:07 两种压力,Distress和Eustress 64:04 放下“要做出惊世骇俗的作品”的压力 66:41 不勤奋也可以是一种主动选择 72:53 许多人把单打独斗视为理所当然,其实同伴支持很重要 79:03 社会一边歌颂勤奋,又一边推崇“毫不费力” 爱发电上赞助

81分钟
9k+
4年前

53 失败还好,成功可太吓人了

关于“害怕成功”的一点碎碎念。 推荐阅读: The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles, Steven Pressfield 摘录整个关于恐惧成功的一节分享给大家—— Resistance feeds on fear. We experience Resistance as fear. But fear of what? Fear of the consequences of following our heart. Fear of bankruptcy, fear of poverty, fear of insolvency. Fear of groveling when we try to make it on our own, and of groveling when we give up and come crawling back to where we started. Fear of being selfish, of being rotten wives or disloyal husbands; fear of failing to support our families, of sacrificing their dreams for ours. Fear of betraying our race, our 'hood, our homies. Fear of failure. Fear of being ridiculous. Fear of throwing away the education, the training, the preparation that those we love have sacrificed so much for, that we ourselves have worked our butts off for. Fear of launching into the void, of hurtling too far out there; fear of passing some point of no return, beyond which we cannot recant, cannot reverse, cannot rescind, but must live with this cocked-up choice for the rest of our lives. Fear of madness. Fear of insanity. Fear of death. These are serious fears. But they're not the real fear. Not the Master Fear, the Mother of all Fears that's so close to us that even when we verbalize it we don't believe it. Fear That We Will Succeed. That we can access the powers we secretly know we possess. That we can become the person we sense in our hearts we truly are. This is the most terrifying prospect a human being can face, because it ejects him at one go (he imagines) from all the tribal inclusions his psyche is wired for and has been for fifty million years. We fear discovering that we are more than we think we are. More than our parents/children/teachers think we are. We fear that we actually possess the talent that our still, small voice tells us. That we actually have the guts, the perseverance, the capacity. We fear that we truly can steer our ship, plant our flag, reach our Promised Land. We fear this because, if it's true, then we become estranged from all we know. We pass through a membrane. We become monsters and monstrous. We know that if we embrace our ideals, we must prove worthy of them. And that scares the hell out of us. What will become of us? We will lose our friends and family, who will no longer recognize us. We will wind up alone, in the cold void of starry space, with nothing and no one to hold on to. Of course this is exactly what happens. But here's the trick. We wind up in space, but not alone. Instead we are tapped into an unquenchable, undepletable, inexhaustible source of wisdom, consciousness, companionship. Yeah, we lose friends. But we find friends too, in places we never thought to look. And they're better friends, truer friends. And we're better and truer to them. Do you believe me? 爱发电上赞助

15分钟
3k+
4年前

52 身为工具人,我们只活出了16分之一(青色组织的理念与实践)

真实、自在、幸福地工作,有可能吗? 青色组织就是这样一种实践。 而我所在的团队 Circling China,也在成为青色组织。 Show Notes 01:20 番茄钟2.0的玩法 04:09 及时庆祝,不要等到大项目完成 07:30 组织形式的进化 07:49 红色组织——冲动型——黑帮 08:36 珀色组织——服从型——教会、军队 09:38 橙色组织——成就型——上市公司、银行 11:57 绿色组织——多元型——NGO/社会企业 14:17 青色组织的典范,荷兰博组客(Buurtzorg)护工组织 19:30 没有老板,但有教练,有健康的、有机的阶序 21:30 Buurtzorg 4000多人的团队里,CEO的职能 23:19 真正的激励=内在驱动+同伴支持+客户需求 24:32 在实现价值和意义的过程中,并不存在竞争对手 26:00 青色组织的特点(一)身心完整 27:47 平均每10个员工里,只有1个是享受工作的 28:19 在工作场合,我们只活出了1/16的自己 30:33 不需要打卡,相信员工会自己安排时间 32:44 “沉默日”,用临在和默契与同事交流 33:22 年终考评不再是令人紧张尴尬的欲抑先扬 35:56 员工自主提加薪,薪酬委员会给出建议 37:38 要让每个人身心完整,最关键的是,做真实的自己后,能收到大量持续的正反馈 39:53 Circling作为真实表达、倾听身体信号的实践 41:14 青色组织的特点(二)自主管理 41:43 追求的不是平等,而是每个人都有优越感 42:31 没有KPI,以什么作为问责机制呢? 44:55 青色组织的特点(三)进化使命 45:27 出于恐惧,我们预测并控制;基于意义,我们感知并回应 46:18 制定计划然后照章执行,就像蒙着眼骑自行车 48:16 Buurtzorg的两个护士让全公司转了型 49:41 Circling China团队倾听组织使命的方式:角色扮演 51:00 FAVI:没有预算,莫名其妙就把钱挣了 52:31 两个基本条件:创始人;大股东 53:51 青色组织创始人要检验自己的阴影:是否出于对权威的抗拒? 56:40 青色组织的挑战 60:21 Circling China志愿者招募 推荐阅读 1.《重塑组织》弗雷德⾥克.莱卢 2.《⾃主管理——博组客的⾃组织转型实践》阿斯特丽德·维⽶尔;本·温廷 3.《召唤勇⽓:觉察情绪冲击、不逃避尖锐对话、从⼼同理创造真实的主导⼒》布芮尼.布朗 BGM Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind Theme Zapp - I Can Make You Dance Jack Johnson - Banana Pancakes 封面图片来自「Reinventing Organizations Illustrated」 爱发电上赞助

63分钟
3k+
4年前
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