00:38今天的主题是演讲 public speech 00:43人人有恐惧 stage fright舞台恐惧 we just can't figure out way to gesture ourselves very naturally and we just be awkward when we speak in front of others and I don't know how to show myself how to behave. 01:11练习练习再练习 practice makes perfect 01:32播客帮助了我 但我需要真人操练 I think podcast does help me a lot But I don'behave with gestures it doesn't help because I don't speak in public and I don't I my opinions fluently and naturally I don't smile at each other I don't pay attention to the audience look. 02:02 can't lessen my anxiety 02:23即兴演讲反而对我来说更容易 impromptu speech即兴演讲 03:06昨天收到演讲比赛的消息 时间紧任务重 得先过校赛 A speech contest for me again 04:17 So I really feel stressed but another way. 04:21之前落选的回忆：忘词 I think I should be behave myself bravely I should speak out you know last last time I still remember I can't I fail to express well and at first I am confident and I have very clear pronunciation and I say I can see the judges the even smiled at me and they they show they are interested. 05:38评委的鼓励让我忘词 They can see that I forget my words. 05:41 So of course at that time I lose the chance and I can't just be the winner fail to have the opportunity to get another round so just stop at first but this time I really want to give a try one thing because I have expressed I have a progress a lot so I think if you give me another choice 06:25 Anyway I don't care about the result. 06:28我不想错失机会 Very much I just want to try and if I just refuses like just Miss this opportunity I feel regret of course so although it is very stressed for me and I am very busy these days but I still wanna give a try so that's what I choose. 07:04 Get progress in a short time and I really want to see that and of course I really enjoy the busy time I really enjoy that I'm not an I I just cherish all the moments 07:37 I think it's time for you to shine to shine on the stage to shine.

00:33 Hello guys is episode ninety one I think I should quickly finish this episode because you know I don't have a lot of time a spare time just for myself so it is very difficult to find a time alone totally alone to record this episode and maybe you'feel very confused why I just disappeared for a long time actually have recorded some but you know I. 00:56 I need to open my laptop and then do some transcription work and I also want to find some time totally for myself that I can speak out and just record this so forgive all my um delay or something but anyway today's topic let's move on today's topic is invest yourself you know it's a cliche I think lot people have realized that they should do more work they should make some efforts to realize their dream they shouldn't sc their form to march or just stare at their form this screen for a a lot of time they realize it's a waste of time sometimes they will take some excuses for themselves like I'm not with my time I'm not with my life I'm just you know people all need to entertain themselves people need to relax and I have do a lot of work. 01:52 So it's time it's my own time you shouldn't push me you shouldn't judge me. 02:35 Meaningful job like reading running you should build work you should let yourself feel better you should have a healthier body anyway you should do something in the long run. 02:49 So in the long term what is really beneficial for you actually what you need to do. 03:26 And push yourself to speak to others right is all your choice but what we should figure out is what we really need to do what we really want to do so so it's your poor it's your question for yourself you should ask for yourself to real answer you should listen to your heart. 03:43 You know these days I still very busy and I even can't record my episode I even can't speak out in English although I really want to practice my spoken English. 04:05 You know who a nerd or who spend a lot of time on reading but I try to break that habit I try to set up a new habit for myself. 04:15 I want to get rid of the formal one I want to see myself as a a better person first you have to imagine that you have to remain a image for yourself you have to think that. 04:30 If you told you I mean if you tell yourself that you want to be a man or a woman who has a lot of knowledge have read a lot of book and who have a very rich for. 04:45 Life inside inside herself I think it's very important that of course you have to make some efforts. 05:12 Even at the corner of the world where you can't arrive here but you just can't receive and you can'accept his opinion. 05:23 So because I want to be that person that will push me that will grow a very strong desire. 05:33 And also I feel that when I read more I have more desire to write down my feelings I don't want to just let it go it want to Miss any very inspiring thoughts although the thoughts the words may be just talk to myself. 05:49 Maybe I will not share in public but. 05:52 I think it's my own belongings right it's your own treasure. 06:07 And for me I have read like normal people from celemony and another book conversations with friends and also read some Japanese work know the book is very long so I just recently finished that it's called the end of the world and very cruel place I don't know how to translate it. 06:29 Anyway I will put down into this topic and you like if you like this please don't have it to comment me and I really like everyone's sharing everyone's conversations.

00:34 Autonomy of a fall坠落的审判 00:41二外法语带给我不同的视角 01:15喜欢电影的配乐 the music is very impressive and pushes the whole context to move on 02:04字幕里的英文括号可能是为了强调英法语言体系 And direct one to emphasize that is the difference between English and French 03:03两个律师 03:19讨人厌律师一号 His character is very obvious that everybody seems to hate him 03:33律师二号 表白 03:56桑德拉：我感觉自己被审视 04:28我们无法摆脱偏见和审判 stereotypes or the prejudice. 05:49演员的演技，渐进到爆发，大赞！ I just hear just see their explosion of their feelings I think it's very great to show that and they just explode their feelings their performance gradually and let you believe. 06:16关系的复杂性 the complexity of the relationship 06:34复杂的婚姻 我们爱着彼此但我们用最狠毒的话刺穿彼此 07:02关系是否是时间的累积 沉没成本 Accumulation of the time 08:12 Her kid Daniel think thinks she is a monster 09:24语言在本剧的作用 Natural language English to express herself 10:57性生活 sexual life 11:13性在婚姻里的占比 And so I really want to know what the proportion of sex in your marriage 11:34桑德拉的双性恋身份 But I think because what she have sex with is a. 11:50不是丈夫的替代 只是欢愉的对象 Satisfy her desire but not to replace her husband 12:17我不想评判桑德拉的道德 12:41不同视角下的丈夫隐匿的抑郁 13:07每个人只看到片面 真理的主观视域 But because everyone can just see some fragment of this character so how can we confirm that we have seen the reality 13:22镜头艺术 Some arts of the camera. 14:24文学是否有证据正当性 15:01丹尼尔的实验 Daniel made an experiment 16:30夜晚激发表达欲 And power of the night you know at night people are always freely naturally talk about. 16:43丹尼尔的红衣 16:59影片结尾 17:43桑德拉被所有人审视 18:19人人都在审，人人都被审 So I try to reflect on myself everyone is the trial but everyone is also be on trial.

每期都要转录的话会花很多时间，我决定有些期配字幕配笔记，有的就比较自由一点，大家可以有选择的收听！感谢理解，也欢迎大家的建议～ PS康奈尔Connell是normal people的男主角（我只会可能会谈一谈我对这本书的看法） 读书会：reading circle 我尝试社交，认识了很多新朋友 我组织语言 我的发言： 1.当今社会我们与宗教的距离 科学让我们坚定 但同时仍然让宗教以温和的形态存在 塔罗牌 2.过去对饥饿的记忆根深蒂固 父辈们对苦痛的恐惧 代际关系 3.文明与野蛮 模糊的分界 权力关系 二元对立 与文明自居的我们 我的遗憾 读书会后

很久没录播客了 嘴巴特别笨 大家可以不收听这期55 Phased relationship 阶段性别关系 I think it's very common phenomenon that almost every relationship has so that means you know in a lifetime the relationship is not once you have you that forever then it just be cut into some sections some pieces. 00:50 新环境 新阶段 新朋友 You know university you do have a lot of friends and you may become friends with your roommates classmates but when you step into your working place when you become a social people of course you will. 01:20 逐渐疏离是常态 02:18 新朋友不会替代老朋友 他们只是新的branches 新的分支 03:07 线上线下聊天真的能拉近和经营我们的关系吗 03:42 社恐害怕线上视频 embarrassment 05:51 I think keeping touch is very difficult 06:28珍视现在 But anyway if you can't solve the problem when I just accept that when I just treasure or the relationships you have belong to you have on now so just just cherish the present.

好久不见大家 本期可食用人群： 1.爱我的不介意我的餐厅噪音的人 2.来姨妈的痛苦女子 3.无聊的人 00:05 早8人 所以在餐厅里的 吵吵的请原谅 00:33 所以我什么是女生来姨妈 we sometimes we really want to know why why is our girls our you know women have to have to face all the difficulties all the pain for things and but otherwise there. 00:59 我们能做的就是发牢骚 这也不行吗All of us could just to complain about this to say something to gossip but anyway it is of no avail at all. 01:11 这是生理构造 不是我们的错 not our fault and what's more it is you know just the system biographic system so I don't want to blame on anyone 01:35 激素的问题 所以我易燃易爆炸 So I think of course our girls don't it shouldn't of definitely be blind right and when you are in a period of course you feel very easily get annoyed but sometimes they even want to point you because of this they want to blank on you because you lose your control you lose. 01:59 Control of your emotion and you just get mad with no reason but actually its not. 02:26 You know we can grasp. 02:30 Very tightly and we cannot decide everything so sometimes we we get angry and not our force and what's more will become easily get painful so. 03:44 Or you can say something to them you can say is not my fault and you should you know comfort me you should understand this is just the biographical bigraph system its you know god knows it's not defa so sometimes we have to explain this to that but I really hope that we are leaving a society where everyone knows that of force and everyone will not you know give their. 04:21 甜食瘾犯了..？ Ideas on you to push you to do anything you you can do at that time so we need more understanding so you know um this is I really suffer from that I feel I have no energy and I can'run easily and I need to worry about you know everything about my body and I become very greedy of the food I gra on food I eat a lot of something no like sweet dessert and strong fruits or no. 04:58 一周过后我胡汉三又会回来的 So sometimes we just lose control of everything not just the emotion but also our attitude to the food our desire so it lose control but it'will come back a few days like a week after that we'LL be back again and we'LL feel energetic again so. 05:25 When I suffer that you know this day on today I think it's the end of my period so I'm really happy for that but actually I also worry about rather week I can just. 05:39 Go back to the orbit rightly and time in so I think we don't need to worry about that but we just can't stop from worry and. 05:55 再给我两分钟～我又会激情满满重新做人 You know it takes time to go back to some orbit to go back to the former state but I hope that I will go back to right and I think I need to draw some plans for myself for study and then I can. 06:13 Enforce it you know just now I have finished some reation about the text and I know it's very hard to recite a passage in a short time and it's just a short term memory to inform to to make sure that I can recside it it'um properly in the class so I need to read more and practice more so just like the life you need to practice it because even though sometimes you feel you'LL get prepared prepared but. 06:48 After you are not and sometimes you just have to train yourself to let it be your in muscle memory so it's what we should do we need to train ourselves to have the muscle memory so that we can face all the difficulties so that we can you know be very mature and natural to deal with everything when we are. 07:15 On a period when you know when on a period you have to face all of this you have to realize you are not to find the world on yourself all of the females in all experience that and you know try to calm down yourself and try to embrace yourself even though you can't get control of everything but at least you need to you know comfort yourself you need to let yourself be happier and just relaxed okay I think that's all and because I have to take my lessons later so anyway see you next time by.

本期播客源于苯人最近的胡思乱想。 可食用人群： 1.因为男朋友或暧昧对象发信息慢而痛苦纠结的人 2.报复性熬夜患者 3.迷茫的牲口们 4.喜欢我或者我的播客的人 （请踊跃评论，偶爱你们） 00:05 Hello guys is episode86. 00:08 And before we start let me express my you know holy thankfulness to one of the suggestions. 00:19感谢观众建议我加bgm It just suggests me to add some relaxing music maybe a piece of music before my um cards before my episode I think it's a really great suggestions. 00:34大学牲没时间没动力所以我的播客比较简陋55 It's not because I don't realize that the importance of music it's not because I haven't thought of that idea but just I don't have the motivation to implement that and I don't have a lot of time you know I am a card student so my time is very limit and it's just my hobby to make this episode so. 00:59再次感谢可爱的听众 01:22熬夜的原因是我还有一屁股事儿没做且不想做 You know today's topic. How about start this episode from the story you know yesterday I don't sleep very well I just say a late again I think the reason why a lot of people stay up late it's not because they they don't know the importance of sleep they don't know um actually they have to do a lot of work and they want to of course have a. 02:08 Making an effort and we but they just can't accomplish their goals every time so they will feel guilty and this feeling of guilty actually will reflect on some actions like sta up late score your phones would just watch some meaningless videos again and again 02:44我需要别人给我打鸡血 You want there to be someone who telling you that you what you should do and you'LL become better tomorrow is better you want that voice to remind you to encourage you and actually the only one that can encourage you forever keep encourage you is that yourself. 04:05不想让人家认为我话很多 I don't know if you have the feeling that maybe sometimes you want to write something to others you want to you know send your message on others but actually maybe maybe your best friend but actually even your best friend can give your the most direct support and you sometimes you don't want to um say everything to him or her because it'will feel noisy and you don't want yourself um like the one who can't deal with your emotion and you don't want to talk to much you want to keep silent because you know silence actually means um there's no disturbance and you're the one who are strong enough and can deal with everything deal with your emotion and you'very you know prudent and calm. 05:45 It's the fact that everybody knows but just don't want to speak it out. 05:53 So what's my suggestions I think it's okay to keep silent I think it's okay. 06:12 You have to be responsible about your decision about your life. 06:18 So. 06:20恶性循环 我知道熬夜不好呀 可是小视频真好看.. 06:54 What you should do? 07:37 You can keep silent. 08:26我们不想当显眼包是为了保护自己 Whether she realize it or not but everyone seems to just to keep silent and everyone don't want to you know be the one who is outstanding be the one who who is brave I think we keep silent because we want to keep safe and we don't talk about a lot of things because. 08:47 You know sometimes silence can save us from embarrassment so anyway because when you are brave when you too brave or too shiny actually actually everyone will look at you and everyone will judge you and you everything so we know the emotion because we have the feeling too you can't avoid that. 09:10 And we don't want ourselves to be the target of everybody so we don't want to be shiny we even want to hide our shining hide our highlights but I think it's wrong sometimes so I stayed up I just stand up I just talked to the teacher time is out so. 09:32关于我昨天举手提醒老师该下课了然后成为盖世英雄的故事 I think we should uh just you know stops here and the teacher she's very great she I think if she says no of course it's her fault and otherwise she of course she says yes okay then that stops here and everybody I can feel the sight of everyone around me they just think you're the hero but I think everyone knows is the hero action but they just don't try so why it's not because they shy you know after class they'all very own. 11:10男朋友喜欢欲情故纵 You know your boyfriend he seems always. I think boys just don't want their girlfriend to be so noisy and. You know. 11:32 At a colder bottle and a colder site and just you ignore some his message or maybe you reply it later things will be better. 12:05 I think everybody a cheat. 12:28 Don't be so afraid about something you have to find your own meaning you have to find your own values. 13:25姐就是女王，自信放光芒 Let others know your values. 13:33晾着他，做自己的事儿 You know you just don't send too much messages at one time. 13:38 I think it's not a paradox.

我发现自己缺少某种决心，在看了一些视频和波克之后，我受到了很多鼓舞，我开始尝试想要去效仿他们的成功，并且从心底里问自己究竟想要什么以及我究竟想成为一个什么样的人。 如果你喜欢这个播客，并且想要分享点什么的话可以在评论区留言，我会及时看到并回复，谢谢大家!

Bird course=水课 水课的现象在大学很寻常。尽管我们无力改变世界，但我们可以改变自己。 你对水课的评价是什么？

首先要跟大家说声抱歉我可能没办法做到每期都有逐字稿，因为市面上的app都不免费，有固定次数等，且这需要我每次都打开电脑，再上传… 这是我开学以来的第二周，我对自己有很多期待，我还要再考一次六级，备考专四，锻炼演讲能力，听力或是翻译等等 最近在读《正常人》，如果这周末顺利读完的话，我会跟大家分享的想法 真的很抱歉，大家如果有听不清楚的地方可以标记时间点问我，也欢迎大家其他的评论！让我们一起成长吧！ 很迷茫的我…先睡个午觉88

我回归了！和我一起restart重新学习英语吧！ 在我不在的这段时间里特别感谢每一位继续支持我的听众，我会继续努力录制这个小播客，让我们互相陪伴一起进步吧~ 看到有评论留言说想看对应的英文字幕，没问题。本期的英文转录就在下面啦，欢迎大家留言噢！我看到会好好回复！ （好久没说英语了，嘴又开始笨了，我会勤更！） 本期内容包括但不限于： 五南方小土豆去尔滨的故事、摆烂只过了科目二的寒假、我决定英法韩三管齐下的豪情壮志... 以下为transcription： Hello, guys. It's episode 82. And do you miss my voice? Yes, here | am. And | came back again. | know it's been a long time since we began to pause or began to pause my postcards. But | know during my absence, actually, | am also looking forward to all your reply and also all your comments, all your suggestions.I am really careful. I'm really care about. And also, it may let me rethink about myself, reflect on my channel. Uml think all of you may want to improve your English as well as me. And also | receive some message like, could you please write down your transcription to me? | want to see the words, the sentences. And it can improve my English and | can follow your pronunciation. Actually, it is totally out of my expectation because| can't remember um my pronunciation be praised by someone,

大家好，好久不见，也是今年最后一条播客。 三天速成英辩比赛、堆成小山的作业、即将来到的期末周，让我像上了发条一样，尽管抖m的体制让我乐在其中（痛并快乐着），但是身体好像反应不太一样。 我变得焦虑，心里装很多事，亢奋，无法入眠。即使入眠了，也是一两个小时后就会醒来。从来没有过这种问题的我，也开始担心睡眠不足会不会带来不好的影响，影响身体。 英语辩论三天前刚学怎么打，但是在赛场上的时候，无论是队友还是对手，都给予了我很高的评价。虽然大家都以为我可以挺进二等奖，但是只要实力被认可我就挺开心的了，我想，上帝也想让我休息一下吧。 最后分享一下昨天晚上和学长约在教室交流写作的事儿。 2023快过去了，我会很想他。