》》》》》》》》一键领取入口《《《《《《《 【节目的中英文全文可以关注微信公众号Zoey八点英语 回复 三十而已 获取】 最近《三十而已》不知道你们追了没有。陈屿这个角色或许让很多男生有共鸣，也听到很多女生吐槽说自己的另一半就是这样的性格。 陈屿明明是个很温暖的人，他会偷偷帮晓芹装婴儿车，生日会大费周折订网红餐厅，没了孩子偷偷掉眼泪等等，却总是很少表述出来以获取别人的理解。所以就像他的名字一样，活得像座孤岛。 【英文参考】 He has an unhealthy attachment style due to his past trauma in childhood. He was neglected by his parents as his mother only focused on Chen Yu’s younger brother. Psychologist Dr. Lisa Firestone says, children who always failed to meet their needs will form an avoidant attachment style. They develop a sense of shame, thinking, “I am not worth paying attention to.” Then they disconnect from their needs in an effort to avoid feeling this shame. 在陈屿小的时候，妈妈似乎只关注他的弟弟，连鸡蛋被弟弟砸了，自己委屈被骂，也只能默默承受。心理学家博主Dr. Lisa Firestone说，当人在童年的时候经常感觉自己的需求没有被关注和满足，就可能形成逃避型的依恋模式。 They may learn that the best way to deal with their frustration at not having their needs met is to act like they don’t have any. 为了回避感觉到这种被拒的“Shame”羞耻、尴尬，他们可能会装作自己没有任何需求，这样就不会体会到任何的失落感。 They want to be in a relationship, but they resist experiencing or showing any need for emotional closeness. They may have a tendency to seek out isolation, emotionally distancing themselves from their partner. They can appear to be more focused on themselves and to value their priorities above their partner’s. They can seem cool, often showing annoyance when their partner is expressing feelings or needs, believing their partner is being “childish” or “dramatic.” 他们想在一段关系里，却不想展示出自己的亲密性的真实需求。经常会想要独处、关注自己的需求要高于另一半的需求、当伴侣表达出了他们的感受和需求，因为共情能力低，他们可能觉得对方太幼稚、太”作”。 就像晓芹怀孕撒娇说想喝酸梅汤，陈屿就只说了句”别闹了。” But actually they’re just scared of being hurt and feeling shameful. This way, they never let anybody hurt them — even though they end up alone anyway. 其实他们仅仅是害怕受伤、尴尬。这种逃避型的防御机制可能不会让任何人伤害自己，却也很难让别人真正地走进自己。 So, how to overcome an insecure avoidant attachment style? Berit Brogaard says on Psychology Today that first of all, you need to find out who you can trust and who you cannot trust. 怎么样才能克服这种逃避型依恋模式呢？Dr. Berit Brogaard在Psychology Today的博文里写道，首先要找出那些你可以信任的人。 Maybe you can make a list of your deepest secrets, listing the most unimportant secrets first, which are those people don’t know about but would not destroy your reputation. Start by sharing these unimportant or less important secrets with people you think you can potentially trust. That way, you can find out whether you can actually trust them. 比如说可以列一堆自己的秘密，从无关紧要的秘密开始写起。就是那些不影响你个人声誉的、不那么重要的秘密。然后有机会的时候和你觉得可以信任的人分享。这个步骤就已经很需要勇气了，但可以让别人了解自己更多、让彼此靠近。 And secondly, confront people by speaking up immediately (not 10 days later). Don’t ever change yourself for the sake of pleasing another person. Tell people what you like and don’t like. It’s OK to feel the shame. 第二点，直面问题和人，在当下做沟通，而不是等个十来二十天或者别人不提起的话永远不说。 就像《How to Stop Feeling Like Shit》《如何停止不开心》中作者Andrea Owen就分享过“逃避“这一个坏习惯是如何让你不开心的。 She says that you may have compiled your list: meditation, yoga, follow this person on Instagram, and read all the books. But here’s what I know to be true: that checklist won’t make you happy and joyful. The "answer" — the key to your happiness — lies in connecting the dots from your past to your current behavior and shining the light on things that hurt. It’s about facing the obstacles, working through and processing them, and loving yourself along the way. 你可能会跟着心灵鸡汤博主看一堆书、做瑜伽、冥想等等等等，可做完了发现还是不开心。因为如果你没有直面让你受伤的问题，只是选择逃避，它永远不会被解决。 像陈屿，其实他就算在挽留晓芹的阶段，也只是自己暴吃零食放松，都没有直面问题去做沟通，反倒是他弟弟找晓芹出来聊天帮他哥解释清楚了，不然估计也没有后续了。 当然了，另一方面晓芹也有她的问题，她之前始终没有耐心听陈屿解释，像衣服为什么要分开洗那么小的疑问也都憋着很久不过问，最后只剩下劈头盖脸的发泄。 So if you’re having an avoidant partner, try to practice patience when he or she pushes you away. Communicate with words, not tantrums. Ask for what you want rather than complaining about what you don’t want. If you chase people who need space, they will likely run even faster or turn and fight. When people with avoidant personality withdraw, let them. 所以如果你遇到了有逃避型依恋模式的人，在ta推开你的时候多给ta一些耐心。用语言而不是情绪做沟通。当对方需要空间，就给ta空间，不要逼对方立马做出回应，否则对方只会可能跑得更快。 Once they realize that they are safe and intimacy will not cause them the same pain they experienced as a child, a healthier relationship may be reaffirmed through time. 当ta感觉到安全，并且知道这份亲密不会像比如童年时期的经历那样带给ta痛苦，一段更健康的关系或许就能慢慢地形成了。 看陈屿和晓芹最后复合了，一方面为他们开心，另一方面也希望深爱着彼此的他们能找到适合他们的沟通模式。 你有没有类似的经历和感触呢？留言和我们分享吧。 【节目的中英文全文可以关注微信公众号Zoey八点英语 回复 三十而已 获取】

》》》》》》》》一键领取入口《《《《《《《 上回聊《肖申克的救赎》没聊完，这回接着聊。 肖申克监狱其实就是社会大熔炉，本是银行家的Andy进去以后一无所有，最后他却能打败处在监狱食物链顶端的大boss监狱长。他是怎么一步步做到的？有哪些值得我们学习的？ 【中英文全文可以关注微信公众号Zoey八点英语 回复 肖申克的救赎 获取】 【英文参考】 Well first of all, Andy knows how to make allies to help him achieve his goal. In the Shawshank prison, everything is clear. If you are not able to make allies, you are in trouble. Red is a man who knows the best how to get things: from rock hammers, posters of Rita Hayworth, to the pieces of rocks, Red supplies it all. And these stuff later become Andy’s tools to dig the tunnel and escape from the prison. ---- Two things never happened again after that. The Sisters never laid a finger on Andy again... and Bogs never walked again. They transferred him to a minimum security hospital upstate. To my knowledge, he lived out the rest of his days drinking his food through a straw. ---- Andy Dufresne: I wouldn't say friends. I'm a convicted murderer who provides sound financial planning - it's a wonderful pet to have. ---- I remember thinking it would take a man six hundred years to tunnel through the wall with it. Old Andy did it in less than twenty. Andy crawled to freedom through five hundred yards of shit smelling foulness I can't even imagine, or maybe I just don't want to. Five hundred yards...that's the length of five football fields. ---- My wife used to say I'm a hard man to know. Like a closed book. Complained about it all the time...She was beautiful. God I loved her. I just didn't know how to show it, that's all. I killed her, Red. I didn't pull the trigger, but I drove her away. And that's why she died, because of me. 【中英文全文可以关注微信公众号Zoey八点英语 回复 肖申克的救赎 获取】

》》》》》》》》一键领取入口《《《《《《《 节目的中英文全文可以关注微信公众号Zoey八点英语 回复 love 获取 【英文参考】 I'm sorry, don't leave me, I want you here with me 抱歉，请不要离开我，此刻我只想你陪着我 I know that your love is gone 尽管我明白你的爱已经消逝殆尽 I can't breathe, I'm so weak, I know this isn't easy 我无法呼吸，脆弱不堪，我知道接受事实的不易 Don't tell me that your love is gone 别亲口对我说你的爱已经消失殆尽 Apparently this is about a breakup story. But SLANDER says they didn’t focus too much on the lyrics, instead they simply want to impress listeners by the melody. Most of their initial inspiration comes from the vocals themselves, but for“Love Is Gone,”in particular,they just wanted to write the saddest piano piece they had ever written, then the vocal came second. Their rule for the emotional records is that if it doesn’t make us cry, it’s not done yet.They just really let the emotions and feeling guide them.

》》》》》》》》一键领取入口《《《《《《《 今天我们来重温下豆瓣评分Top1的经典影片《肖申克的救赎》The Shawshank Redemption. 之前也聊过这部，但看了很多遍，每次看都有新的启发。 【抱歉这个月我出差没有周末连轴转..所以可能更新频次会受影响。但我会尽量多更新的，谢谢你们的支持！】 节目全文可以关注微信公众号Zoey八点英语 回复 肖申克1 获取 For those of you that may have forgetten the plots of the movie: In 1947, Andy Dufresne, a banker in Maine, is convicted of murdering his wife and her lover. Since the state of Maine has no death penalty, he is given two consecutive life sentences and sent to the notoriously harsh Shawshank Prison. Andy keeps claiming his innocence, but no one believes in him. Twenty years later, he successfully escaped from the prison. At the beginning, Red says, “Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane.” Because he was rejected to be released a few times, and have been waiting several decades in the prison to get the parole. He had lost his hope. There was a time Andy sneaked into the broadcasting room, locked the door, and played opera for the entire prison, sitting there, simply enjoying the music. He was, of course, punished for his malfeasance. But he was very proud of himself. I have no idea to this day what those two Italian ladies were singing about. Truth is, I don't want to know. Some things are best left unsaid. I'd like to think they were singing about something so beautiful, it can't be expressed in words, and makes your heart ache because of it. I tell you, those voices soared higher and farther than anybody in a gray place dares to dream. It was like some beautiful bird flapped into our drab little cage and made those walls dissolve away, and for the briefest of moments, every last man in Shawshank felt free.

》》》》》》》》一键领取入口《《《《《《《 昨天看到一个热搜说 Taylor Swift压中了北京高考题，英语完形填空有一道是in your wildest_____答案是 dreams. 哈哈~ 今天我们就来聊聊这首很好听很野性的Wildest Dreams. 【节目的中英文全文 可以关注微信公众号Zoey八点英语 回复 taylor mv即可】 Taylor wrote the song in her album, 1989. She says it reflects on romance in a different way to her previous love songs. Taylor说这首歌的灵感，是来源于一段刚开始就看到了结局的恋爱。但这段感情让她改变了自己对爱情的看法。 She says in a Rolling Stone interview, "I think the way I used to approach relationships was very idealistic. I used to go into them thinking, 'Maybe this is the one - we'll get married and have a family, this could be forever. Whereas now I go in thinking, 'How long do we have on the clock - before something comes along and puts a wrench in it, or your publicist calls and says this isn't a good idea?" "That's actually a really good example of the way I go into relationships now. If I meet someone who I feel I have a connection with, the first thought I have is: 'When this ends, I hope it ends well. I hope you remember me well.' Which is not anything close to the way I used to think about relationships. It's that realization that it's the anomaly if something works out; it's not a given."

》》》》》》》》一键领取入口《《《《《《《 又到了一年一度紧张的高考期，考完的学弟学妹们很快又要开始大学四年的旅程了。想和你们分享一部很经典的探讨教育的印度电影 Three Idiots. 中文名叫《三个白痴》/《三傻大闹宝莱坞》。 【节目中英文文本可关注微信公众号Zoey八点英语 回复 三个白痴 获取】 【英文参考】 The film follows the friendship of three students, Rancho, Farhan, and Raju at an Indian engineering college. It is a satire about the social pressures under an Indian education system, which is quite similar to the Chinese one as well. Life is a race. If you don't run fast, you'll get trampled. He says that life begins with murder, if you don't compete, you will die, even to be born, we had to race 300 million sperm. But with his highly stressful education concept, one of the most talented students at the college has committed to suicide simply because he failed to pass the final exam. These engineers are very smart, sir, they didn't invent a machine which can measure the pressure on the brain. If they had, we would have come to know that this was not a suicide but a Murder. It is true that most people need a diploma to get a job, to have a good life. But only a diploma is not enough. It is not the diploma that matters, but the learning journey.

》》》》》》》》一键领取入口《《《《《《《 最近高分悬疑剧《隐秘的角落》不知道你们看了没有。小说原著的名字是《坏小孩》The Bad Kids. 【节目中英文全文 可关注微信公众号Zoey八点英语 回复 隐秘的角落】 【英文参考】 It is a web drama adaptation of a suspense novel from a popular Chinese mystery fiction writer known by the pseudonym Zijin Chen. Zijin Chen’s parents got a divorce when he was nine. And his dad remarried and had a daughter. He says he truly understands how children growing up in a single-parent family feel. According to research organization Child Trends, science supports the idea that warmth and affection expressed by parents to their children results in life-long positive outcomes for those children. Higher self-esteem, improved academic performance, better parent-child communication, and fewer psychological and behavior problems have been linked to this type of affection. On the other hand, children who do not have affectionate parents tend to have lower self esteem and to feel more alienated, hostile, aggressive, and anti-social. In 2010, researchers at Duke University Medical School found that babies with very affectionate and attentive mothers grow up to be happier, more resilient, and less anxious adults. affectionate [əˈfekʃənət] 充满爱的 Attentive [əˈtentɪv] 体贴的 The psychologists rated the mother’s affection and attention level on a five-point scale ranging from “negative” to “extravagant.” Nearly 10 percent of the mothers showed low levels of affection, 85 percent demonstrated a normal amount of affection, and about six percent showed high levels of affection. Then 30 years later, those same individuals were interviewed about their emotional health. The adults whose mothers showed “extravagant” or “caressing” affection were much less likely than the others to feel stressed and anxious. They were also less likely to report hostility and distressing social interactions. 30年后，对这些人进行了有关其情绪健康的采访。母亲表现出“过度”或“爱抚”的成年人比其他成年人感到压力和焦虑的可能性要小得多，也没有出现敌对和令人沮丧的社会互动。 The researchers involved in this study concluded that the hormone[ˈhɔːməʊn] oxytocin [,ɔksi'təusin, -'tɔ-] may be responsible for this effect. Oxytocin is a chemical in the brain released during times when a person feels love and connection. It has been shown to help parents bond with their children, adding a sense of trust and support between them. This bond most likely helps our brain produce and use oxytocin, causing a child to feel more positive emotions. So the greatest gift parents can give their children is to love them. I highly agree that parents should take a responsibility test before they have kids cuz not everyone can be a “fit parent.” 【有“敏感词”提示放不了全文，节目中英文全文 可关注微信公众号Zoey八点英语 回复 隐秘的角落】

上一期《乘风破浪的姐姐》很多人都在关注艾瑞巴蒂组里面几个强势姐姐+弱势组长合作不来的情况。为什么她们几个那么难合作呢？ 这也让我想到了哈佛商学院教授Amy Edmondson分享过的一个TED演讲叫 《如何让陌生人组成一个团队》--How to turn a group of strangers into a team. 【节目全文可关注微信公众号 Zoey八点英语 回复 合作】 【英文参考】 In 2010, a massive collapse at San José Copper Mine in Chile left 33 men trapped half a mile below some of the hardest rock in the world. No drilling technology in the industry is capable of getting through rock that hard and that deep fast enough to save their lives. It's not clear if the miners are alive. And it's not even clear who's in charge. Yet, within 70 days, all 33 of these men were brought to the surface alive. First of all, they’re very humble and curious. They were able to be humble in the face of the very real challenge ahead, curious -- all of these diverse individuals, diverse expertise especially, nationality as well, were quite curious about what each other brings. And they were willing to take risks to learn fast what might work. They have overcome what we call the basic human challenge: it's hard to learn if you already know. And unfortunately, we're hardwired to think we know. And so we've got to remind ourselves to be curious about what others bring. And secondly, it's awfully hard to team if you see others as competitors. Abraham Lincoln said once, "I don't like that man very much. I must get to know him better." Think about that -- I don't like him, that means I don't know him well enough. It's extraordinary. This is the mindset we need for effective teaming. When we step back and reach out and reach across, miracles can happen. 背景音乐：Undo

周日就是父亲节了。今天和你们分享一部和父亲有关的经典电影，《大鱼》Big Fish。 【 中英文全文 可关注微信公众号Zoey八点英语 回复 大鱼】 【英文参考】 The movie is adopted from the novel Big Fish. It tells the story about a father named Edward Bloom, who loves telling stories about his eccentric life, such as meetings with a giant man, two Korean conjoined twins who are singers, a witch with a glass eye capable of seeing the future, and a big fish that refuses to be captured. His son Will didn’t believe his stories. But when Edward fell ill, Will finally started his journey to dig into his father’s past. Will’s dad always says he was fishing on the day Will was born. But then when Will went to the hospital to visit his dad when he was very ill, the doctor finally told him the true story on the day he was born. He said actually Will’s father was very sorry to miss Will’s delivery because he was on a business trip. So he made up the fishing story for Will. Edward said: This town is more than any man could ask for. And if I were to end up here, I'd consider myself lucky. But the truth, I'm not ready to end up anywhere. Jenny asked: How are you gonna make it without your shoes? Edward replied: I suspect it would hurt, a lot. The more difficult something became, the more rewarding it was in the end. 背景音乐：Forest Gump Suite

周董的新歌Majito你们都听了吧~ 这首歌的MV是在古巴的首都Havana哈瓦那录制的，在周董拍旅游综艺《周游记》的时候就顺带录了MV，也是很周杰伦了。 聊到Havana，瞬间就被另一首很经典的歌洗脑了…… 【英文参考】 【节目全文可关注微信公众号Zoey八点英语 回复 哈瓦那】 "'Havana is more summer, upbeat, it's very wind-your-waist tempo, if that makes sense.” It's like a story of me falling in love with this bad boy from Havana." “To trust your gut and that life’s too short to be afraid, so why not just go for it? When time runs out when you’re older, I don’t want to think, ‘man, why was I so nervous? I should have just gone for it.’ That’s what I tell myself now. I’m 20, but my biggest fear is being an old lady and thinking I wasted so much time being scared and worrying what people thought about me.”

最近地摊经济风靡，你是不是也蠢蠢欲动想尝试摆摊了？今天分享一个由真人故事改编的泰国电影The Billionaire，中文翻译是《亿万少年的顶级机密》。讲的是男主Top Ittipat从摆摊开始，一步一步变成最年轻的亿万富豪的故事…… 【节目中英文全文可关注微信公众号Zoey八点英语 回复 亿万富豪 获取】

在奥巴马为黑人死者发声后，他的妻子米歇尔也在推特上呼吁抵制种族歧视。 英文参考： Race and racism is a reality that so many of us grow up learning to just deal with. But if we ever hope to move past it, it can’t just be on people of color to deal with it. It’s up to all of us–Black, white, everyone...It starts with self-examination and listening to those whose lives are different from our own. It ends with justice, compassion, and empathy that manifests in our lives and on our streets. I have been at, probably, every powerful table there is in the world. I’ve been at G-summits, I’ve been in castles and palaces, in boardrooms and academic universities. And I’m coming down from the mountaintop to tell every young person that is poor and working-class and has been told, regardless of the color of your skin, that you don’t belong, don’t listen to them. They don’t even know how they got into those seats. 因为后台提示有敏感词 所以文本放不上来.. 感兴趣的可以关注 微信公众号 Zoey八点英语 回复 米歇尔 查看。