Do we have a right not to be lonely? | BBC Ideas



Long distance sailors, who brave months alone at sea, tend to report that their greatest challenge is the soul-destroying loneliness. We're prone to feeling lonely when we're socially isolated, but we can also feel lonely when we're not isolated, when we're in relationships with people who care about us.



So, what is that "terrible loneliness," as philosopher Bertrand Russell puts it, where "one shivering consciousness looks over the rim of the world into the cold, unfathomable, lifeless abyss."



Loneliness is the unwelcome feeling that we lack companions, that we have fewer or poorer relationships than we want. Feeling lonely is like feeling pain, thirst and fear. It triggers our "fight or flight" response. In small doses, loneliness can help us. It can prod us to reach out to other people, but when loneliness becomes chronic and acute, it's corrosive.



Some of us turn to drugs to deal with loneliness. Some of us join abusive relationships or gangs. It's correlated with health risks such as depression, reduced immunity, and even suicidal behaviour. Studies indicate that young people feel lonely as often as older people do. Even young children can feel deep loneliness.



If loneliness is a serious social problem, what do we do about it? Can we have a right not to be lonely?



We cannot have a right against feeling lonely, but we could have rights against some of the underlying conditions that tend to cause loneliness. Such as a right not to be persistently socially isolated, including a right not to be left to fend for ourselves when we need help to stay social, like the physically impaired person who needs some help to get out of the house.



Although this isn't currently an explicit right in international agreements, arguably it should be, because human rights are about the brute moral minimum that we owe each other as human beings.



In addition to talking about rights, we can work individually to alleviate our own and each other's loneliness. There is value in small social connections, like the visit to the doctor, the ride on the bus, and the trip to the grocery shop. We can make it a habit, as writer George Monbiot suggests, to start conversations with people we don't know.



These micro-moments of connection aren't just nice, according to social psychologist Barbara Fredrickson, they change us for the better, emotionally and physically. It's like getting exercise. And it goes both ways, our heart's capacity for love obeys the biological law: Use it or lose it. As children's singer Charlotte Diamond puts it: Give four hugs a day - that's the minimum, not the maximum.



词汇表

sailor [ˈseɪlə(r)] 水手，海员，乘船者

brave 勇敢面对，冒（风险）

soul-destroying [ˈsəʊl dɪˌstrɔɪɪŋ] 毁灭灵魂的，枯燥乏味的，消磨精神的

be prone to [prəʊn] 倾向于，易于

socially isolated [ˈaɪsəˌleɪtɪd] 与社会隔绝的，社会孤立的

shivering consciousness ['ʃivəriŋ][ˈkɒnʃəsnəs] 颤抖的意识（恐惧、寒冷或紧张等情况下）

rim [rɪm] （圆形物的）外缘，边缘

unfathomable [ʌn'fæðəməb(ə)l] 难以理解的，深不可测的

lifeless ['laɪfləs] 毫无生气的，死气沉沉的

abyss [ə'bɪs] 深渊，无底洞；困境

unwelcome [ʌn'welkəm] 讨厌的，令人不适的，不受欢迎的

companion [kəm'pænjən] 同伴，伴侣

"fight or flight" response  战斗或逃跑反应（指在应对压力时，交感神经系统引发的一系列生理变化”

in small doses [ˈdəʊsɪz] 适度情况下，小剂量地，少量地

prod [prɒd] 激励，促使，敦促

chronic [ˈkrɒnɪk] 长期的，慢性的

acute [əˈkjuːt] 严重的，剧烈的

corrosive [kəˈrəʊsɪv] 腐蚀性的，有害的

abusive relationship [əˈbjuːsɪv] 虐待性关系（指亲密关系中身体、情感或心理上的虐待或控制）

gang [ɡæŋ] 帮派，黑帮，团伙

be correlated with [ˈkɒrəˌleɪtɪd] 与……相关

reduced immunity [ri'dju:st][ɪˈmjuːnəti] 免疫力下降

suicidal behaviour [ˌsuːɪˈsaɪd(ə)l] 自杀行为

underlying [ˌʌndə(r)ˈlaɪɪŋ] 根本的，潜在的，隐含的

persistently [pəˈsɪstəntlɪ] 持续地；坚持地，固执地

fend for oneself [fend] 照顾自己，自谋生路

physically impaired ['fɪzɪkli][ɪmˈpeə(r)d] 身体残疾的

explicit [ɪk'splɪsɪt] 明确的，清楚的

international agreement 国际协议

arguably [ˈɑː(r)ɡjuəbli] 可以说，按理

brute [bruːt] 最基本的，纯粹的；原始的，野蛮的

moral minimum [ˈmɒrəl]['mɪnɪməm] 最低道德标准，道德底线

alleviate [əˈliːvieɪt] 减轻，缓解，缓和

grocery shop [ˈɡrəʊsəri] 杂货店

micro-moment  [maɪkrəʊ]（极短但颇具重要性的）微瞬间

social psychologist [saɪˈkɒlədʒɪst] 社会心理学家

capacity [kə'pæsəti] 能力，容量，容纳力

biological law [ˌbaɪəˈlɒdʒɪk(ə)l] 生物学定律

use it or lose it 用进废退

maximum ['mæksɪməm] 最大限度，最大量，上限



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