How You Could Ruin Someone's Day or Life

A lot of evil is done in the world by people who can't imagine that they have any power to hurt anyone. It's their sense that nothing is at stake in their behaviour towards others that leads them to ignore the rules of politeness and humanity – and to kick people as if they were plated in armour. They are – in this respect – paying homage to childhood.  

Think of the situation of a young child, of perhaps six, who has fun mocking a parent's double chin or the wrinkles around their eyes. To this child, the parent is still, in many ways, an invulnerable deity. They live in a remote, impressive world of work, credit cards, driving and the news. How could someone of such stature be hurt by a comment about their less-than-perfect physique by a tiny person who can't spell properly?

But the child is missing the point. Their words do hurt. They can make their parents cry (in private). The child simply can't grasp how desperate and anxious their parent might be, how every morning they might stare in dismay into the bathroom mirror at the visible signs of ageing that speak to them relentlessly of a wrongly-lived life. The parent, out of dignified generosity, has shielded their child from their own fragility. And now their child is paying them a beautiful if misguided, compliment: a belief that they are beyond suffering.

Something related may happen when employees get together to gossip about the person they work for. In their imagination, the boss is so far above them that it couldn't possibly matter what they say about them. It's only when they themselves move to senior positions that they start to realise how vulnerable the person in charge might feel, how completely normal it is to want to be liked (even if you have a seat on the board) and how imperfect your self-esteem might be.

This idea casts a useful light on the activity of particularly dangerous people online. Their venom isn't the expression of a feeling of power. Rather, the troll tends to feel like a medieval vagabond outside a heavily fortified city, hurling insults and threats at what they take to be comfortable inhabitants sleeping behind meters of stone walls lined by vigilant troops. They want to hurt, but they don't in any way actually imagine they can; that is what renders them quite so vicious.

True kindness may require us to take on board a very unfamiliar idea: however young we are, however forgotten and ignored we feel we are, we have a power to cause other people serious damage. It isn't because we aren't wealthy or revered in elite circles that we thereby lose a capacity either to comfort or to wound strangers.

We become properly moral, and properly adult, when we understand that we may all, whoever we may be, ruin someone's day, and on occasion, through a few incautious and misplaced words, their life.

词汇表
at stake [steɪk] 利害攸关，处于危险或风险之中
be plated in armour [pleɪt][ˈɑː(r)mə(r)] 身披盔甲
in this respect 在这一点上，从这个方面来说
pay homage to [ˈhɒmɪdʒ] 对…表敬意，致敬
mock [mɒk] 嘲笑，嘲弄，模仿
double chin [tʃɪn] 双下巴
wrinkle ['rɪŋkl] 皱纹，褶皱
invulnerable [ɪn'vʌlnərəb(ə)l] 无懈可击的，不会受伤害的，刀枪不入的
deity [ˈdeɪəti] 神，神性
stature [ˈstætʃə(r)] 身高，高度；声望，名望
less-than-perfect 不完美，不尽人意的
physique [fɪˈziːk] 体格，体形
grasp [ɡrɑːsp] 理解，领会，明白；抓住
in dismay [dɪs'meɪ] 沮丧地，惊愕地
relentlessly [rɪˈlentləsli] 无情地，残酷地；不断地
dignified [ˈdɪɡnɪfaɪd] 高贵的，有尊严的
generosity [ˌdʒenəˈrɒsəti] 慷慨，宽宏大量，大方
fragility [frə'dʒɪləti] 脆弱，虚弱，易碎
misguided [mɪsˈɡaɪdɪd] 误导的，搞错的，误入歧途的
gossip [ˈɡɒsɪp] 闲聊，说闲话，传播流言蜚语
senior position [ˈsiːniə(r)] 高级职位
vulnerable ['vʌln(ə)rəb(ə)l] 脆弱的，敏感的，易受伤的
in charge  [tʃɑː(r)dʒ] 负责，主管，管理
board [bɔː(r)d] 董事会，理事会，委员会
self-esteem [selfɪˈstiːm] 自尊；自负，自大
cast a light on 阐明，揭示（使更加清晰或易于理解）
venom ['venəm] 恶毒，恶意；毒液
troll [trɒl] 网络喷子（故意留下激怒他人言论的人）
medieval vagabond  [ˌmediˈiːv(ə)l][ˈvæɡəbɒnd] 中世纪流浪者
heavily fortified [ˈfɔː(r)tɪfaɪ] 重兵把守的，戒备森严的
hurl insults and threats [hɜː(r)l][ɪn'sʌlt] 大声辱骂和恐吓
inhabitant [ɪnˈhæbɪtənt] 居民，栖息动物
vigilant troops ['vɪdʒɪlənt] 警惕的部队
render [ˈrendə(r)] 致使，造成，使变得
vicious ['vɪʃəs] 邪恶的，恶毒的
take on board 理解，接受，考虑
revere [rɪˈvɪə(r)] 尊敬，敬畏，崇敬
elite circle [ɪˈliːt] 精英圈
incautious [ɪnˈkɔːʃəs] 不谨慎的，轻率的，鲁莽的
misplaced [ˌmɪsˈpleɪst] 不合时宜的，不恰当的

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