How does suffering teach us to appreciate small joys?
There's an apparent paradox in the way that the longer we have lived, the more appreciation we tend to develop for very small and rather undramatic things: a moment in the kitchen with a square of dark chocolate, a walk to work, the first shoots in the garden in January, a weekend with no obligations, a very hot bath, conspiratorial laughter with a friend, a new book.
These things matter more rather than less even as our experience of the outer world and its people and places keeps increasing.
Relentless appetites for scale and outward excitement. We want to bestride the world, leave a mark and meet soulmates. We get bored in minutes in the most majestic settings. We take the greatest mysteries in our stride. We seldom stop by the side of the road to think or look.
But at some point, the direction of ambition reverses – and what tends to initiate the change is pain. The more challenging existence as a whole becomes, the more we get to know about love, sickness, infighting, intransigence, career reversal and political turmoil, the more we may appreciate what remains pure and hopeful, despite its modest appearance or lack of obvious glamour.
Our respect for a fig, a moment of calm and a kind but unexciting friend is underpinned by memories of nights of crying, months lost to argument and instances of untrammelled despair in the bathroom in the darkness.
It is difficulty that catalyses our interest in and respect for gardening or a painting of a lake in autumn, the lifecycles of ducks or an article on the moons of Jupiter. It's people who have known far more than they ever wanted about dementia, cancer, employment law, divorce and mental institutions, who are the great appreciators of blossom, empty days, train journeys and the moon above the house on warm evenings.
To a five-year-old, it's just another ice cream and another sunny day. To the grandparent sitting with them, everything is close to supernatural: the tiny fingers, the small plump body, their child who is now a parent loading up the car, the sound of a House Finch somewhere in a tree.
The child – if they are fortunate – has no sense of the fragility of everything and of the cruelty waiting in the wings. Who can properly delight in another scoop of vanilla and melted chocolate until they have – at best – three summers left.
The simple wonders of the world are constantly being rediscovered; those at the vanguard of doing so are those who have first had to walk the corridors of hell.
词汇表
paradox [ˈpærədɒks] n. 悖论，自相矛盾的话
undramatic [ˌʌndrəˈmætɪk] adj. 不引人注目的，平淡的
a square of 一块，一片（巧克力，纸，布等）
shoot [ʃuːt] n. 嫩芽，幼苗，新枝
obligation [ˌɒblɪˈɡeɪʃn] n. 责任，职责；必须要做的事情
conspiratorial laughter [kənˌspɪrətɔːriəl] 会心一笑，心照不宣的笑
relentless appetites [rɪˈlentləs ˈæpətaɪts] 无尽的欲望，难以满足的渴望
bestride [bɪˈstraɪd] vt. 跨骑，驾驭；支配，主宰
majestic [məˈdʒestɪk] adj. 壮丽的，宏伟的，庄严的
take something in one's stride [straɪd] 习以为常，从容应对，泰然处之
infighting [ˈɪnfaɪtɪŋ] n. 内斗，内讧，暗斗
intransigence [ɪnˈtrænzɪdʒəns] n. 不妥协，顽固
reversal [rɪˈvɜːsl] n. 逆转，反转；挫折，失败
turmoil [ˈtɜːmɔɪl] n. 动荡，混乱，骚乱
modest [ˈmɒdɪst] adj. 朴素的，不张扬的，适度的
glamour [ˈɡlæmə(r)] n. 魅力，诱惑力，吸引力
fig [fɪɡ] n. 无花果；无价值的东西
be underpinned by [ˌʌndəˈpɪnd] 以…为基础/支撑，基于
untrammelled despair [ʌnˈtræmld dɪˈspeə(r)] 无边无际的绝望，无尽的绝望
catalyse [ˈkætəlaɪz] vt. 催化，促成，激发
moons of Jupiter [ˈdʒuːpɪtə(r)] 木星的卫星
dementia [dɪˈmenʃə] n. 痴呆症
mental institution [ˈmentl ˌɪnstɪˈtjuːʃn] 精神病院，精神卫生机构
appreciator [əˈpriːʃieɪtə(r)] n. 欣赏者，鉴赏者
blossom [ˈblɒsəm] n. 花，花朵；开花期
supernatural [ˌsuːpəˈnætʃrəl] adj. 超自然的，神奇的，不可思议的
plump [plʌmp] adj. 胖乎乎的，丰满的
load up the car 把东西装进车里
House Finch [fɪntʃ] （北美）家朱雀
fragility [frəˈdʒɪləti] n. 脆弱，易碎性
wait in the wings [wɪŋz] 潜伏在侧，伺机而动，准备就绪
a scoop of vanilla [skuːp vəˈnɪlə] 一勺香草（冰淇淋）
vanguard [ˈvænɡɑːd] n. 先锋，先驱，前沿
corridors of hell [ˈkɒrɪdɔːz] 地狱的走廊，地狱般磨难（比喻极度痛苦、艰难的经历或环境）
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