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When Jay Shetty graduated from college, he was prepared for two different paths in life: to work in finance, or become a Hindu monk.

After three years at an ashram, Jay returned home to London hoping to share his learning with the world. He had to relearn how to make small talk — and how to flirt. He had his eye on someone special: a down-to-earth woman named Radhi.

Their first date was a disaster. But it helped him realize that Radhi, who would one day become his wife, yearned for a more simple and authentic mode of connection — qualities he knew well from his time in the ashram.

Today on “Modern Love,” Jay shares how anyone can bring the lessons of monkhood into dating and love — even if you’ve never stepped foot in an ashram.


Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

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