5 steps to De-escalate in English: Ex:i can see why you'd feel that way （calm defensiveness and anger ） Ex:it sounds like it's important to you (takes off the focus and put on people,i understand your prospective) 1.acknowledging feelings 2.show willingness to listen Ex:let's take a moment to talk about this (invite the conversation try to move away rom confrontation) Ex:help me understand your point of view (collaborative,peaceful way of saying) Ex:i want to hear what you thinking (open to a conversation) 3.use softening statements say sth help to reduce defensiveness invite collaboration Ex:i might be wrong, but here's how i see it Ex:that's your point, maybe we can find solution together (move the focus from blame to problem-solving) Ex:lets figure it out the best way forward (implying a solution not evolving in the problem) Ex:let's take a short break and come back to this Ex:i think we both need to calm down a bit! Ex:what will help you better about this? Role play: A:look at my bumper, this is your fault! you totally run at that light B:i can see you are upset, I'm ok, are you OK? A:I'm ok i think but my car, this is ridiculous! B:i understand! I'm really sorry this happened, i shouldn't try to make the light let's handle this calmly we can get it sort it A:this is terrible timing, i was on the way to pick up my kids B:I'm sorry about that, let's exchange insurance information and take photos of the damage A:OK! That's sounds good B:thank you for staying calm! i know it's frustrating let's handle this step by step A:all right! let's do that