On feeling painfully different



Much is said about the virtues and pleasures of individuality – of being someone who stands out from the crowd and delights in their own particularity. But let's also admit to how frankly lonely and frightening it can be to find ourselves (yet again) in a peculiar minority, where the differences between us and others strike us as bewildering rather than emboldening, when, for example:



Everyone seems to want to gossip, but we prefer generosity and forgiveness.



When everyone is at ease, but we're melancholy and self-conscious.



When everyone is cheerful, but we can't seem to let go of anxiety and apprehension.



When everyone seems confident, but we feel suspicious and ashamed of ourselves.



When everyone is contented in their couples, but we're still searching for a home.



When everyone worries passionately about the future of the planet – but we feel cold and at times almost indifferent.



When everyone seems to love life, but we're not sure if we quite do.



At such times, we might benefit from a few thoughts to alleviate the isolation:



Firstly, we don't know reality as well as we imagine. What we believe that 'everyone' is like may not be how they actually are. We may have more friends than we think.



Also, we are getting statistics wrong: these four or eight or twelve people in a room don't represent all of humanity. The 80 or so people in our extended social group are in fact always a miniscule part of the human story. There are still so many friends left to meet.



Also, perhaps our existing companions actually know much more about the material we feel alone with than we suspect; they, and we, simply haven't found a way to share our true selves. Maybe they will feel what we feel one day – just not yet.



It may be fine to belong to a minority. Minorities have sheltered some of the most accomplished spirits that've ever lived. Isolation may just be a price we have to pay for a certain complexity of mind.



And lastly, we have art to bridge the gaps between ourselves and other people. Bookshops are an ideal destination for the lonely, given how many books were written because their authors couldn't find anyone to talk to.



Maybe there are people nearby – perhaps in this community – who would understand very well indeed.



词汇表

virtue [ˈvɜːtʃuː] 美德，品德，优点

individuality [ˌɪndɪˌvɪdʒuˈæləti] 个性，个人特征

stand out from the crowd 脱颖而出，与众不同

particularity [pəˌtɪkjʊˈlærəti] 特殊性，独特性，个性

peculiar [pɪˈkjuːliə(r)] 特殊的，独特的

minority [maɪˈnɒrəti] 少数群体，少数人，少数派

strike [straɪk] 给…印象，让…感到

bewildering [bɪˈwɪldərɪŋ] 令人困惑的，使人不知所措的

emboldening [ɪmˈbəʊldənɪŋ] 使人勇敢的，鼓舞人心的

gossip [ˈɡɒsɪp] 说长道短，传播流言蜚语，说闲话

at ease [æt iːz] 自在的，放松的

melancholy [ˈmelənkəli] 忧郁的，郁郁寡欢的

self-conscious [ˌself ˈkɒnʃəs] 局促不安的，不自在的，难为情的

apprehension [ˌæprɪˈhenʃn] 担忧，忧虑

contented [kənˈtentɪd] 满足的，满意的

worry passionately about [ˈpæʃənətli] 对……忧心忡忡，极度担忧

indifferent [ɪnˈdɪfrənt] 冷漠的，漠不关心的

alleviate [əˈliːvieɪt] 减轻，缓解（痛苦等）

isolation [ˌaɪsəˈleɪʃn] 孤立，孤独，隔绝

extended social group [ɪkˈstendɪd] 延伸的社交圈（指同事、同学等弱关系社交群体）

miniscule [ˈmɪnɪskjuːl] 极小的，微不足道的

shelter [ˈʃeltə(r)] 躲避，隐匿；庇护，保护

accomplished [əˈkʌmplɪʃt] 才华高的，有成就的，杰出的

complexity [kəmˈpleksəti] 复杂性，复杂的事物

bridge the gaps [ɡæps] 消除差异，弥合隔阂



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