Is your perfectionism holding you back?
Perfectionism is the tendency to set excessively high and unrealistic standards for oneself and others, and to evaluate one's worth based on the ability to meet those standards.
Perfectionists are not satisfied with anything less than flawless results, and they often fear failure, criticism, or disappointment. But constantly striving for perfection can have serious consequences.
How does perfectionism affect your productivity?
You might think that being a perfectionist would make you more productive, but the opposite is true. If you're always aiming for flawless results, you tend to spend more time on tasks than necessary, or even avoid starting them altogether for fear of failure. Meaning you end up procrastinating and delaying.
A good example is given here by Dr Andrea Brandt in Psychology Today. "I'd like to write a novel is a fantastic goal, whereas I must finish a novel by the end of the year is a perfectionist goal."
Perfectionists also have trouble delegating or collaborating with others because they don't trust people to meet their high expectations. This can lead to missed deadlines, wasted resources and poor performance.
How does perfectionism impact you?
When you base your self-worth on your achievements, you become more sensitive to criticism, rejection and feedback. You also tend to compare yourself to others and this can lead to feeling inferior or envious of others' achievements and consequently damage your self-esteem and your mental health.
Perfectionists also have difficulty coping with setbacks or failures because they see them as personal flaws rather than learning opportunities.
How does perfectionism impact your relationships?
When you expect yourself and others to be perfect, you tend to be judgmental, critical and demanding. It can also get in the way of living in the present because you're always looking for flaws or areas of improvement, robbing you of happiness, gratitude and fulfilment.
How can you cope with perfectionism?
Perfectionism can cause a lot of stress, but there are ways to cope. Allow yourself to make mistakes and learn from them and celebrate your efforts and progress. Remember that nobody is perfect and that mistakes are valuable and normal.
Set reasonable and flexible goals and instead of aiming for perfection, aim for improvement.
Also, try lowering the pressure you put on yourself and others and be more compassionate and supportive. Use positive self-talk and affirmations such as, I'm doing my best, I'm proud of myself or I'm enough.
Finally, find joy and satisfaction in the process, not just the product. And, as Dr Brent says, "the only person you need to compare yourself to is who you were yesterday and who you'd like to be tomorrow." There you have it.
词汇表
hold someone back 阻碍某人，拖某人后腿
perfectionism [pəˈfekʃənɪzəm] n. 完美主义
perfectionist [pəˈfekʃənɪst] n. 完美主义者
flawless [ˈflɔːləs] adj. 完美的，无瑕的
strive for [straɪv] 追求，力求，争取
procrastinate [prəˈkræstɪneɪt] vi. 拖延，耽搁
delegate [ˈdelɪɡeɪt] vt. 委派，委托，授权
collaborate with [kəˈlæbəreɪt] 与…合作，协作
self-worth n. 自我价值，自尊
inferior [ɪnˈfɪəriə(r)] adj. 自卑的，低人一等的，差的
envious [ˈenviəs] adj. 羡慕的，嫉妒的
self-esteem [self ɪˈstiːm] n. 自尊，自尊心
setback [ˈsetbæk] n. 挫折，阻碍
judgmental [dʒʌdʒˈmentl] adj. 爱评判的，动辄批评的
critical [ˈkrɪtɪkl] adj. 挑剔的，批评的
demanding [dɪˈmɑːndɪŋ] adj. 苛求的，苛刻的，要求高的
rob of [rɒb] 剥夺，夺走
aim for 追求，力争
compassionate [kəmˈpæʃənət] adj. 富有同情心的，仁慈的
positive self-talk 积极的自我对话，正向自我对话
affirmation [ˌæfəˈmeɪʃn] n. 肯定，支持；确认
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