What makes us seek a calm life?
We're likely to try out many sorts of lives before we land, finally, on the quiet variety. Rarely does anyone start there, the kind of life where we try to be in bed by ten and are intensely grateful when nothing has gone dramatically wrong in the preceding hours.
First we might try out the life of fame, the sort where we dream that someone will stop us in a shop or train and say, 'Aren't you…?' or 'Don't I know you from…' That's a not-negligible thrill, especially if you didn't feel too noticed in childhood or if, in adolescence, it was always someone else who was able to make people you loved smile.
Or we might be drawn to the life of melodramatic relationships, the kind where we're constantly wondering whether they love us or we love them, where we break up every couple of weeks and are calling them, frantically, to come back from their parent's house and we didn't mean all those crazy words we said, we were just scared.
It can take a lot of pain before we make our peace with so-called ordinariness and accept it for the wonder it is. Before we can deeply love a day when we have 'nothing' to do, other than wake up early, finish the dishes from last night, shower, read a few poems, answer some emails, maybe go to the museum to see some African masks or a canoe from Oceania, buy some bread, fry some eggs.
We might become rather fierce at anyone and anything that threatens this hard-won achievement. At well-meaning people who invite us on complicated excursions or worrying parties; at newspapers that force us to think about driven types starting companies and releasing a new film or record. We know how much these stimulants can cost us.
It takes great confidence to give up on being special. It takes kindness to oneself to interrupt the longing for suffering and anguish. One might have needed to try out almost everything else before realising, in the end, that it was calm we always really wanted.
词汇表
land on 最终选择，落脚于
intensely grateful [ɪnˈtensli ˈɡreɪtfl] 万分感激，无比感激
go dramatically wrong [drəˈmætɪkli] 出大乱子，发生严重差错
preceding [prɪˈsiːdɪŋ] adj. 先前的，前面的
fame [feɪm] n. 名声，名望，声誉
not-negligible [nɒt ˈneɡlɪdʒəbl] adj. 不容忽视的，不可忽略的
thrill [θrɪl] n. 兴奋感，激动
melodramatic [ˌmelədrəˈmætɪk] adj. 戏剧性的，情节剧似的，夸张的
frantically [ˈfræntɪkli] adv. 急忙地，狂乱地，发狂似地
make peace with 与…和解，接受
ordinariness [ˈɔːdnərinəs] n. 平凡，普通
canoe [kəˈnuː] n. 独木舟，划艇，轻舟
Oceania [ˌəʊsiˈɑːniə] n. 大洋洲
fierce [fɪəs] adj. 暴躁的，狂怒的
hard-won [ˌhɑːd ˈwʌn] adj. 来之不易的，难得的
well-meaning [ˌwel ˈmiːnɪŋ] adj. 好心的，善意的
excursion [ɪkˈskɜːʃn] n. 远足，短途旅行
driven type 有干劲的人，积极进取的人
stimulant [ˈstɪmjələnt] n. 刺激物，激励因素
anguish [ˈæŋɡwɪʃ] n. 痛苦，苦恼
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