What are the four types of attachment in our relationships?



The types of attachment were theorized by British psychologist John Bowlby in the 1950s. They're widely used to help us understand how we react to situations in our relationships, whether it be with romantic partners, friends, or family members.



Bowlby relied on research on the impact of early separations between infants and their mothers, and emphasized the importance of attachment relationships in the social and emotional development of children, as well as their long-term mental health. During the 1970s, American psychologist Mary Ainsworth expanded on Bowlby's work, helping him develop an observational method to assess different types of attachment in children and adults.



What exactly is an attachment style?



According to psychology today, our attachment style is the way we establish bonds with other people, which develops in infancy. and becomes refined in children, adolescents and adults. In simple terms, it's the way you interact with those around you. There are four main types of attachment.



The first is secure attachment. Children with secure attachment feel safe and protected when they're with their parents or caregivers. They seek comfort from them when they feel anxious or scared, but are also capable of exploring the world around them, knowing they can always return to their attachment figure if needed.



The second type is avoidant attachment. Children with avoidant attachment tend to avoid or ignore their parents or caregivers when they feel anxious or scared. They're less likely to seek comfort from them and prefer to explore the world without their assistance.



What about the other two types then?



The third type is anxious attachment. Children with anxious ambivalent attachment constantly seek attention from their parents or caregivers but struggle to be reassured even when they're close to them. They may appear preoccupied with the possibility of being abandoned and can be highly reactive to signs of separation.



Finally the fourth type is disorganized or chaotic attachment. It's characterized by a child's paradoxical and disorganized behavior in the presence of their attachment figure. This type of attachment is less common and brings chaos into the lives of those affected. Their emotions can be excessive and devastating and at times the person may seem absent or disconnected from reality.



There are many online tests which can help you work out your attachment style. It generally stems directly from our childhoods. If you're not aware of it and haven't considered it before, it tends to remain the same throughout your life. But looking into it may help you understand your reactions towards friends or partners in certain situations. You may even learn to predict your own response and with time develop a more secure attachment style. There you have it.



词汇表

attachment style [əˈtætʃmənt] 依恋风格（个体与他人建立联结的方式）

secure attachment [sɪˈkjʊə(r) əˈtætʃmənt] 安全型依恋（感到安全和受保护，必要时寻求安慰）

avoidant attachment [əˈvɔɪdənt əˈtætʃmənt] 回避型依恋（倾向于回避和忽略，独自探索）

anxious attachment [ˈæŋkʃəs əˈtætʃmənt] 焦虑型依恋，又称anxious ambivalent attachment [æmˈbɪvələnt] 焦虑矛盾型依恋（持续寻求关注，难以感到安心）

disorganized / chaotic attachment [dɪsˈɔːɡənaɪzd / keɪˈɒtɪk əˈtætʃmənt] 混乱型依恋（表现出矛盾和混乱的行为）

theorize [ˈθɪəraɪz] 建立理论，创立学说，推理

infant [ˈɪnfənt] 婴儿，幼儿

observational [ˌɒbzəˈveɪʃənl] 观察的，观测的

bond [bɒnd] 纽带，联系

infancy [ˈɪnfənsi] 婴儿期，幼年

refined [rɪˈfaɪnd] 精炼的，完善的；文雅的

caregiver [ˈkeə(r)ɡɪvə(r)] 照料者，看护人

reassure [ˌriːəˈʃʊə(r)] 使安心，使消除疑虑；安慰

be preoccupied with [prɪˈɒkjupaɪd] 全神贯注于，一心想着

paradoxical [ˌpærəˈdɒksɪkl] 自相矛盾的，似是而非的

disconnected [ˌdɪskəˈnektɪd] 分离的，脱节的，断开的

stem from [stem] 源于，来自



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