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来源：小宇宙
How to cope with disappointment
We've all been there. Ending up with a worse exam result than you had hoped for or expected, a friend cancelling a plan you were really looking forward to, or your favourite sports team losing a game.
Disappointment is an unhappy feeling when there is a gap between your expectations and reality, when something you desired failed to materialise. It's a normal and natural reaction, but what to do? Is it best to forget about it and move on, or allow yourself to feel the feels?
We often can't control what happens in life, but we can control how we respond when things don't go our way. Dr Radha Modgil, a UK family doctor and campaigner for wellbeing, says that we should take time to process the disappointment. "We can often feel the need to move on straight away or ignore our feelings, but if we take time to process them and talk them through, we can move forward in a healthier way," she says.
Next, she advises us to see the opportunities. Things may not have worked out this time, but when one door closes, a different, more exciting door may have opened, in a way that may one day make you grateful for the initial disappointment.
The wider the gap between expectations and reality, the greater the disappointment. Make sure your goals are realistic, not idealistic, says Dr Annette Clancy, an organisational consultant who researches emotions in the workplace. Think about what a realistic result would be, rather than the perfect one.
When waiting for something significant like a job offer or test result, her advice is to not get ahead of yourself. When we anticipate a positive result, we often start imagining a future that doesn't yet exist, and if that future doesn't materialise, we then have to grieve its loss, which can be upsetting.
Try not to take it personally. Disappointment might make you think, "I'm not good enough," and lead you to blame yourself, affecting your self-esteem. It may cause you to blame others, making you angry that they did not recognise your value.
Dr Annette Clancy says both reactions miss the point. Instead, see disappointment as a signal that our expectations and reality are not aligned. Understanding this, she says, can be an important way to develop resilience.
词汇表
be there 有过这样的经历，经历过（某种情况）
gap [ɡæp] n. 差距，缺口，落差
materialise [məˈtɪəriəlaɪz] vi. 实现，发生，成为现实
feel the feels 充分感受情绪，直面自己的感受
go one's way 按某人的意愿发展，对某人有利，合某人的心意
campaigner [kæmˈpeɪnə(r)] n. 倡导者，活动家，运动参与者
talk something through 详细讨论，把某事彻底谈开，倾诉
idealistic [aɪˌdɪəˈlɪstɪk] adj. 理想主义的，空想的
get ahead of oneself 想得太远，操之过急，过早设想未来
anticipate [ænˈtɪsɪpeɪt] vt. 预期，期望，预料
grieve [ɡriːv] vi./vt. 悲伤，哀悼，使悲痛
upsetting [ʌpˈsetɪŋ] adj. 令人心烦的，令人沮丧的
take something personally 往心里去，认为某事针对自己的
self-esteem [ˌself ɪˈstiːm] n. 自尊，自尊心
miss the point 没抓住要点，偏离重点
aligned [əˈlaɪnd] adj. 对齐的，一致的，相符的
resilience [rɪˈzɪliəns] n. 韧性，恢复力，适应力
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We've all been there. Ending up with a worse exam result than you had hoped for or expected, a friend cancelling a plan you were really looking forward to, or your favourite sports team losing a game.
Disappointment is an unhappy feeling when there is a gap between your expectations and reality, when something you desired failed to materialise. It's a normal and natural reaction, but what to do? Is it best to forget about it and move on, or allow yourself to feel the feels?
We often can't control what happens in life, but we can control how we respond when things don't go our way. Dr Radha Modgil, a UK family doctor and campaigner for wellbeing, says that we should take time to process the disappointment. "We can often feel the need to move on straight away or ignore our feelings, but if we take time to process them and talk them through, we can move forward in a healthier way," she says.
Next, she advises us to see the opportunities. Things may not have worked out this time, but when one door closes, a different, more exciting door may have opened, in a way that may one day make you grateful for the initial disappointment.
The wider the gap between expectations and reality, the greater the disappointment. Make sure your goals are realistic, not idealistic, says Dr Annette Clancy, an organisational consultant who researches emotions in the workplace. Think about what a realistic result would be, rather than the perfect one.
When waiting for something significant like a job offer or test result, her advice is to not get ahead of yourself. When we anticipate a positive result, we often start imagining a future that doesn't yet exist, and if that future doesn't materialise, we then have to grieve its loss, which can be upsetting.
Try not to take it personally. Disappointment might make you think, "I'm not good enough," and lead you to blame yourself, affecting your self-esteem. It may cause you to blame others, making you angry that they did not recognise your value.
Dr Annette Clancy says both reactions miss the point. Instead, see disappointment as a signal that our expectations and reality are not aligned. Understanding this, she says, can be an important way to develop resilience.
词汇表
be there 有过这样的经历，经历过（某种情况）
gap [ɡæp] n. 差距，缺口，落差
materialise [məˈtɪəriəlaɪz] vi. 实现，发生，成为现实
feel the feels 充分感受情绪，直面自己的感受
go one's way 按某人的意愿发展，对某人有利，合某人的心意
campaigner [kæmˈpeɪnə(r)] n. 倡导者，活动家，运动参与者
talk something through 详细讨论，把某事彻底谈开，倾诉
idealistic [aɪˌdɪəˈlɪstɪk] adj. 理想主义的，空想的
get ahead of oneself 想得太远，操之过急，过早设想未来
anticipate [ænˈtɪsɪpeɪt] vt. 预期，期望，预料
grieve [ɡriːv] vi./vt. 悲伤，哀悼，使悲痛
upsetting [ʌpˈsetɪŋ] adj. 令人心烦的，令人沮丧的
take something personally 往心里去，认为某事针对自己的
self-esteem [ˌself ɪˈstiːm] n. 自尊，自尊心
miss the point 没抓住要点，偏离重点
aligned [əˈlaɪnd] adj. 对齐的，一致的，相符的
resilience [rɪˈzɪliəns] n. 韧性，恢复力，适应力
📖 翻译、pdf见公众号【琐简英语】，回复"1"可进【打卡交流群】
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