Have you ever typed a long message…
你有没有给人打过一大长段消息……
and then just stared at it?
然后就那样愣愣地看着它？
You want to send it.
你很想把它发出去。
You want to be honest.
你也想真诚一点，把心里话说出来。
Your thumb is on the “send” button.
你的大拇指已经悬在“发送”键上了。
And then you sigh,
结果你叹了口气，
shake your head,
摇摇头，
and delete everything.
然后把所有内容全部删掉。
In that moment,
在那一刻，
you didn’t just stop.
你不只是“停下来”而已。
You held back.
而是把自己“硬生生憋住了”，you held back。
“Hold back” is a small phrase,
“hold back”这个短语看起来很小，
but it has a strong feeling.
但里面的感觉很强烈。
Imagine you are running,
想象你在往前跑，
and someone grabs your backpack from behind.
突然有人从后面抓住你的书包。
You want to move forward,
你还想往前冲，
but a hand is pulling you.
但有一只手在后面拉着你。
That is “hold back”.
这种被往后拽住的感觉，就是“hold back”。
Sometimes, life holds you back.
有时候，是生活在拖住你。
Sometimes, people hold you back.
有时候，是别人拖住你。
A lot of times,
但很多时候，
you hold yourself back.
是你自己在拦着自己往前走。
We use “hold back” in two big ways.
我们用“hold back”主要有两大类意思。
First,
第一种，
to talk about stopping progress.
是说阻碍前进、拖住发展。
Not letting someone grow,
不让一个人好好成长，
or move forward.
不让他往前迈步。
Second,
第二种，
to talk about stopping a feeling or action.
是指把一种情绪或行为硬生生按住。
You feel something strongly,
你心里那种感觉非常强烈，
but you don’t show it.
但你不把它表现出来。
You keep it inside.
你把它压在心里。
Let’s start with the first one.
我们先看第一种用法。
You can say:
你可以这样说：
“Don’t let fear hold you back.”
“别让恐惧拖住你往前走。”
This means:
这句话的意思是：
Don’t let fear stop you from trying.
不要让害怕阻止你去尝试。
Don’t let fear be that hand
别让恐惧变成那只手，
pulling your backpack.
抓着你书包往后拽。
Another sentence:
再来一句：
“Money problems are holding him back from traveling.”
“经济问题一直在拖住他，让他没法去旅行。”
He wants to go.
他其实很想去，
He has plans.
也有计划，
But money is a big hand
但“钱”就是那只很大的手，
pulling him back.
一直在把他往回拉。
One more:
再来一例：
“Old rules are holding the company back.”
“老旧的规章制度在拖这个公司后腿。”
People have new ideas.
大家有很多新点子，
The world is changing.
世界也在不停变化，
But the company can’t move forward,
但公司却迈不出下一步，
because the rules are too old,
因为这些规则太老旧，
too strict.
太死板。
The rules are holding them back.
这些规则就这样一直拖着他们不前进。
Now the second use.
现在看第二种用法。
Stopping your own feelings,
是把自己的感受按住，
or your own actions.
或者把自己的行为压住不做。
Picture a movie scene.
想象一段电影画面。
A character hears bad news.
一个角色听到了坏消息。
Their eyes get red.
他的眼睛开始发红。
Their lips shake.
嘴唇有点发抖。
You can see they want to cry,
你看得出来他很想哭，
but they don’t.
但他就是没让眼泪掉下来。
We say:
这时候我们会说：
“She tried to hold back her tears.”
“她努力忍住自己的眼泪。”
The tears want to come out.
眼泪其实已经冲到眼眶边，
She is fighting them.
她在跟这股冲出来的感觉对抗。
That fight is “hold back”.
这种“强忍住”的对抗，就是“hold back”。
Or imagine a funny moment in class.
或者想象一下上课时的一个好笑瞬间。
The teacher is being serious.
老师一脸严肃。
Your friend whispers a stupid joke.
你同桌小声讲了一个特别沙雕的笑话。
You want to laugh so badly.
你特别特别想笑出来。
Your shoulders shake.
你的肩膀都在抖，
You bite your lip.
你只好咬着嘴唇。
You are holding back your laughter.
你在死命憋笑，你’re holding back your laughter。
We can also say:
我们也可以这样说：
“He held back his anger.”
“他把怒火硬生生压了回去。”
He is angry.
他其实很生气，
He wants to shout.
他特别想大吼一声。
But he takes a deep breath.
但他深吸了一口气，
He decides not to explode.
决定不在那一刻爆发。
He holds back his anger.
他把自己的怒火按住没有放出来。
In action movies or sports movies,
在动作片或者体育电影里，
you sometimes hear the opposite:
你有时会听到一个相反的用法：
“Don’t hold back!”
“别再憋着了！放开打！”
The coach shouts it.
教练会这么喊，
The friend shouts it.
队友也会这么喊。
It means:
意思是：
Don’t be shy.
别再缩着、别害羞了。
Don’t save your energy.
别再藏着掖着你的力气。
Use everything you’ve got.
把你所有的力气都使出来。
Give it 100%.
全力以赴，百分之百冲上去。
Now let’s compare quickly.
我们快速对比一下几个词。
“Stop” is very simple.
“stop” 是很直接的“停止”。
“The rain stopped the game.”
比如：“下雨把比赛给停了。”
The game just ends.
比赛就直接结束了，
No more game.
一刀切，不再继续。
“Control” is like managing your feelings.
“control” 更像是“管理、控制”你的情绪。
“I’m trying to control my anger.”
比如：“我在努力控制自己的怒气。”
But “hold back” is different.
但“hold back”不太一样。
It feels like
它更像是——
something wants to move,
有个东西很想冲出去，
and you pull it inside,
而你把它往心里拽回去，
or pull it behind.
或者往后拖住不让它动。
When you say:
当你说：
“I don’t want to hold you back,”
“我不想拖你后腿” 的时候，
you mean:
你的意思是：
I don’t want to be the reason
我不想成为那个原因，
you stay small,
让你一直待在原地、不敢长大，
or stay stuck.
或者一直卡在现在动不了。
When you say:
当你说：
“I always hold back what I really think,”
“我总是把自己真正的想法憋在心里不说” 的时候，
you mean:
其实是在说：
The words are in your head,
那些话都在你脑子里，
but you don’t let them out.
但你就是不把它们说出来。
So here’s a way to remember it.
所以可以这样来记这个词。
Any time you feel
每当你感觉——
a step you want to take,
你想往前迈一步，
a word you want to say,
你想说一句真心话，
a dream you want to follow,
你想去追一个梦想，
or a tear you want to cry…
或者你真的很想痛快哭一场……
Ask yourself:
你就问问自己：
“What is holding me back?”
“现在到底是什么在拖住我？”
And tell yourself,
然后对自己说，
at least once in your life:
这一生至少要有一次这样说：
“I won’t let fear hold me back anymore.”
“我不会再让恐惧拖住我了。”