bgm：一个人去巴黎-董又霖 00:27 为什么要努力锻炼？ so why I should still go to the gym to have a a maybe five kilometers running and then I go back why should I take time on that commune（通勤） why should I take time to keep my body strong I don't need that I need time to relax 变成一个懒惰的人是很容易的 懒惰因子顽强且生来在我们体内it's quite easy to let person that our self to be a lazy person it's quite natural because it's lying in our nature 对自己严格一些persuade everyone into believing or into pushing to be a strict person to be strict on yourself 立刻去做，不要给自己的拖延找理由 NO! If we do not take action now maybe tomorrow everything will go back to it's tunnel! 我是过来人 我们都是过来人I have already experienceed for a long time and I think it's time to make change when you have that'so strong desire in your mind I believe tomorrow well maybe you'LL makes a little change. Trust me tomorrow is still like today and nothing will change and if you want to let the rest of your life to live a healthy way to believe a better way you should always be struggle yourself 某书上看到的一个女孩分享她减肥的经历——奇怪的是you should give yourself some support it's quite weird the when to see today on the social media the rednotes one girl shared her story we are flooded with som many things about losing weight especially among girls but the shame is a big and popular topic these days Girls she's saying that and she find herself even become healthy and it's like a healthy circle and you know when she really pushed him herself go to the gym and to do some exercises and to eat healthy food she find herself it sounds quite stressful at first 03:21 听上去是悖论 但自律让整个人的状态变得更好了 相反越懒惰的人会状态越差 我们需要努力与约束 sense her skin are become better and also her her or status on she's become better state, complexion（肤色、气色） and energetic more energetic so you find it's quite it sounds like a paradox （悖论） 03:57 尝到了J人的甜头 I'VE told you that I wanna be a more J person I'm quite clear about on the blueprint （蓝图）or what should I do tomorrow what should do in the next thirty minutes 05:36 I'm trying to make some efforts remind you that today you should do something you have some mission 我开始百日减肥计划的第一天！ one thing more on that worths（*is worth） applaud （*applause N.）is today is my first day of on the the plan I get one plan for one hundred days of losing weight on a loose about five on kilograms so I need to push myself 想瘦到95斤，高中以来好像就没这么轻过，试试吧...since I get into the high school I never reach that figure 减肥是为了让自己有些目标but I do think it's a good think because if you're losing way you're finding something for yourself and you have some plan 今天跑了5km！坚持是最难的事情Today's go about five kilometers running it's not it's a not bad distance right it's not very long but also someone will fail on the first day but I also realize the the more difficult thing is whether you can insist on and stick to goal this time I wanna to live a different life 感觉我们都是行尸走肉 迷茫的生活工作every day it's quite common you sit together with your classmates and I find all of you all of them maybe they have some talents they have some. Ability but I can feel maybe they don't have the courage to say that or they don't have a very strong resolution to change it I can feel that but I don't wanna be one of person among I want to make some change because I think it's my life and may my life is just for once I don't have a lot of time to waste or even though I have I don't wanna to do so I want to make use of my time and do to do something I want to or find something find invest myself so I could go further I find if I just live everyday mindlessly aimlessly I'm sure I'would just become a common person I just want to have my own thoughts I want to think about my really my real desires or my real shots I want to talk to myself and to make some changes.

bgm: 敏感小孩-沙一汀 [播客品质层次不齐，以后打*的就是有字幕和bgm的集，方便大家收听！] [本期喷麦较多...] 00:26 每天都在大张旗鼓地大喊要努力要进步 要有一口流利的口语 Every day I'm yelling I'm shouting I'm waving my flags saying I want to be more progressive I want to hold when very fluent British accent. I want to get higher score about IELTS about any other language exam 00:59 但好像雄赳赳气昂昂活力满满的状态无法持续，我只发现自己愈发的胆怯了，像是触到了什么防御机制 Even more lack of some courage or motivation 01:10 “真正的天赋是你的热爱”永动机的动力就是你的热爱，不要问自己为什么不够努力，你只是不够渴望，否则努力是水到渠成 Today one sentence just hit me—the so called "talent" is just about your motivation/enthusiasm/love so what you really long for if you just really want something then it is your talent sometimes we just be bound for something 人人都有野心 但你的野心真的足够大吗 你真的足够想要吗you see we all have desires but the only problem is what is your real enthusiasm/real love The power lies in your enthusiasm 保研无望的我不应该无事可做 我应该扎实地推进考研准备I want to be an postgraduate I want to be a a very talented person I want to hold something I want to talk fluently 我们缺的是行动力 是一股狠劲when I think too much about this I just lack of the courage to taking action Taking action it's a key point so if you don't do anything else if you don't do anything in reality then all of this. It's just a nonsense 大三意味着大学的尾声 可我却感觉天天都在混 我在浪费我的时间This semester all of it every day. I'm wasting my time and I realize the truth I cannot change I still need to get my diploma I still need to fulfill or to finish all of these school things Maybe I cannot escape from this case. 03:36 小故事一则——雅思课上斐济女孩给我的好丽友派 I want to she to share one more story with you just happened um in my ielts lesson 04:09 我持续抱怨没有语言环境，但事实上我明明可以拥有 So you see I'm complaining all the day 她拍了拍我的肩膀，给了我一个好丽友派suddenly someone just touched my shoulder. She's a very beautiful girl from Fiji. 05:01 她的大方似乎是与生俱来，而我却无法如此自然地外向，东亚人好像擅长自我否定 I find she so outgoing she does everything so naturally and I want to be like her you find myself um most of our Chinese and most of the east Asians we just kept ourselves we prevent ourselves from doing something you know something brave or something against the conventions/ the rules I don't know. 我们无法勇敢却也无法接受平庸we kept complaining every day we are not satisfied about the present right we still want ourselves to be more thinner and more outgoing be more brave. But we cannot take action just the problem we keep complaining but we doing something nonsense all the day 06:48 需要短视频疯狂灌输鸡血骂醒我们 that's why we need to find our motivation to find something we can rely on maybe it's a famous saying or one slogan or lyrics 总在开始畅想 然后止步于此 然后自我失望、厌弃与后悔From the beginning I am dreaming about a wonderful semester but I'find my class cannot not teach me everything then what is my solution-should not give up let all of my talents just be wasted

今天和舍友们一起看了电影《还有明天》 我一方面为电影中提到女性受到的暴力而感动而鼓掌，但另一方面也非常的担忧 在同类型的被贴上女性主义的电影越来越多的被大众所看到的时候，我们应该以什么样的态度对待它们，大家会不会越来越习惯而产生麻木甚至抵触的情绪。是否会有人会觉得我们的争取公平是夸张的，有意挑起对立的。 或许我们应该更加节约的使用我们的语言、我们的创作？ 但同时我也觉得现在的数量还太少太少，我这样的担心应该放在后面。而只有现在鼓励越来越多的声音，越来越多的创作，优质的或者不优质的作品出现，话题被越来越多的讨论，我们才能“还有明天”！

上期录的因为音质的问题，因为我自己的粗心大意，所以不得不删除原来的视频 这是我大三的下学期，由于我转专业推迟了一年的关系，所以一切都好像又给了我一次机会，但同时我内心也隐含着一些外界压力，因为我好像比别人多投资了一些，多投入了一些时间成本，在我没有想清楚的情况下，当然我可能也永远不清楚我做了转专业的决定从法语转到英语，接下来的路，我真切的知道我不应该去美化那条我选择的路，但是同时我好像又无法阻止自己去这么想 这学期是心理压力很重的一学期也是最迷茫的学期，因为大四似乎就要进入一个更快的节奏力，就好像大学的尾声，你必须要思考或者去投入一些考试与找工作了，所以我想要告诫自己不要再浪费时间，也不要再去想东西真心，你现在当下拥有的也不要去责怪自己过多，你已经做得很好了，但是你同时要鞭策自己变得更加的努力去完成一些你该做的事情 比如说，既然我已经报了雅思决定要去考，我就应该好好准备，又或者是我不应该在一而再再而三的纵容自习，每天马马虎虎的背单词，我应该多做一点事情，可是好像就比平时忙的时候做的任务还要少，这是很不应该的事情 同时我也发现自己在更空闲的时候好像无法很好地规划，也许是我心里压力太重或者是状态不好吧，不管怎么说，我希望自己慢慢地找回原来的状态，持续的打击血，让自己忙起来

铺天盖地的有关留学生活的消息充斥在整个网络环境中，人们不得不开始比较，又开始对自己感到难过。为什么我生活在一个如此平凡的家庭？人们感到无力、陷入迷茫。 但在这期播客里，我要说的是我在这学期也开始准备雅思考试。也许我的家庭无法负担起我去出国留学，但这并不意味着我这辈子都无法留学。 同时我也不应该怨恨或者是责怪我的家庭，因为我自己也并没有付出足够的努力，也没有向他们展示绝对的决心。 我希望自己遇见更多的人，为自己创造一个好的语言学习环境，其实有许多机会的摆在我的面前，问题就是我有没有认真对待，对待我的人生。 这期没有对应时间点的字幕了，也比较短，如果你喜欢的话，欢迎任何的评论。

00:25 假期结束 试着找回原来的节奏 I'm going to say goodbye to all of this and I tried to adjust myself to my former lifestyle to my temple 独自去电影院看了花样年华重映、独自吃了贵贵的鹅肝饭、买了爆米花，这是一场专属于我的盛宴 02:26 除了电影里的背德、情爱韵事外（当然绝不仅限于此），我想谈谈别的， 关于我自己 introduce some love affair love story but you know it's not so acknowledged/accepted by normal people, something against morality 牡丹是否有谈论爱的资格？ *sometimes I'not sure about what is a really real meaning of love...Qualification? 04:03 杜绝早恋后毫无过渡可言的进入大肆鼓励恋爱，突然被允许让所有人找不到逻辑、迷茫 it's a gold time for you to finish study finish your education and when get into the encourage will step into that you you're justifying that everything is allowed and the your parents will even encourage you to get into one relationship get into one love affair 而爱并不是你想开始就可以开始的it's not easy if you like me you wanna to be serious and sometimes um people around you is's not so lot you know you don't have a a lot of choices and maybe just because you didn't find someone you really want to 而单身的结果并不应该怪罪于任何人，尤其是不应该归咎于你自己it's not our fault at first and we should not reflect on ourselves for so much because you know there'are a lot of factors that will impress the final result 所有的好感被扼杀，因为我的犹疑，也因为时机不对（扯淡的理由）， 我们没有发展的可能when I was young when I was in a junior high school or even younger maybe I have some some good feelings with someone lack of the courage it also let me Miss a lot of opportunities 09:04 在日本和韩国大叔的搭讪以及寒假里给高中同学的明信片，我有在好好珍惜我的每一份情谊。 12:03 保留灰色地带，迂回的、尴尬的、互相猜忌的浪漫 I want to keep this ambiguity guessing each other's feelings also increases the romantic feelings (你们的留言我都有看，感谢每一个听我频道的人，感谢评论的你们，让我们一起走向好好)

BGM: 大人中-卢广仲 本期是我2025年1月17日凌晨1点左右录的，在静悄悄的家里，我对孤单的自己说下这些，同时也希望拥抱每一个和我一样感到小小孤独的灵魂。 00:00 此刻我们是那样的近，可我却感觉我们更远了 00:18 我短暂脱离了ddl的压迫，可我好像也没有社交更多，甚至更少 It sounds quite weird cause now you finally have some time to spend with your family, you could meet each other, get together watch a movie or a TV show, have dinner together and also you have time to meet all friends you could socialize with each other you could play games, take some photos. Anyway you just have a lot of ways and time and opportunities but I find myself become even more lonely sometimes. We have already shortened our distance and also now I don't need to face the task a lot of tough task like in the final week. And I don't need to prepare for some presentations or be worried about my GPA anyway all of it have already done and I got my final results although it's not quite satisfactory but I have try my best and I should be satisfied by myself... 我已经尽我所能，但考试成绩并不都如我所愿，但我接受。 我被证实是一个J人Today I finally be testified yeah I was testified to be a J person I mean now I'm a real J person. I used to be ENFP but now my MBTI is ENFJ so. I switched from P to J. 我变得更擅长且更乐于做计划，我认为这是好事 It sounds like I become more and more capable for planning something. 02:45 我仍然有许多事情需要完成，比如考驾照，这一次，我想迅速地终结它。（打下这些文字的一个小时后正要去驾校） Take my driver license. A big headache but I have to face it's one reply for me from all of my efforts and I just want to end it quickly. As quickly as I can 03:28 再比如，霓虹之旅的准备以及语言学习（韩日法英...说起来好厉害但是现在只坚持了韩和英） I'm planning to take a trip to Japan/ prepare for my clothes for my cash and also have to I have some plan to study to study my language Korean Japanese French and English. 04:42 手机成了我们依赖的、逃避尴尬的救命稻草。 It will become even more stressed but I find my parents they're not the person's I could you know really talk to And I could feel the embarrassment between my family and I 06:47 不仅是我，所有人都在逃离无聊。比如我的外公 Bored no it's so boring. 06:51 我近期逃离无聊的最快捷的方式就是出去，无论什么理由但是出去 for me one way the most straight way is to take a subway and then you can go anywhere you want 07:45 第二个孤独，友谊。我决定且我认为我有权利在此刻按下暂停键。尽管你和我有感情基础，尽管我们认识多年。 I find I have to say goodbye to one of my old friends, my junior high school classmate. 08:36 不是工作需要人，而是人需要工作。我们节奏不一，在我还不清晰考研与否的时候，她已“尘埃落定”，她不需努力，而这也让她的生活丧失斗志。 Not so pleasant Christmas day because of her late because of her laziness and also we find our temple is not so match. She don't she doesn't need to worry about her future worry about her job everything she has already been qualified but for me. 09:38 她变得自私，扫兴我喜欢的东西，对自己的半小时迟到表现得理所当然，对我们订的餐厅挑三拣四…我再无法接受她的负能量与持续否定，更无法接受她对别人的付出感到理所应当，没有任何歉疚。 I find sometimes she's quite sharp and selfish. 11:41 日本旅行是发现问题之前就定下的，争吵是没有意义的，我选择和平地、愉快地度过这次旅行。 I have to take a trip with you to Japan to go abroad. I don't want to ruin my trip I have to keep peace. But I personally realized I cannot stay really close to this guy. 13:27 我们就像一棵树，有权利选择斩断自己的枝丫branch，切断我们的关系，也会遇到新的人，产生新的联系。 13:37 我们将对自己越来越熟悉，对自己的roots。人生是一场自我探索的旅程 we'LL learn more about ourselves. a process of learning yourself of understanding your choice 15:01 你应该相信并且支持自己做当下你认为对的决定 It's really wise for you to do do something to stop your sadness to stop one unhealthy relationship if you find yourself in a not so good relationships and it's wise and it's a choice forever to say goodbye you have your right and you should trust yourself.

本期视频讲的是我在杭州的三天短程旅行中我与我朋友的一些故事以及我对我自己的想法。 第一个朋友叫袋鼠koala，他是一个非常内向的女孩，由于不像我和sail一样在一个城市读大学，而且我们彼此的性格原因，我们很少有这种机会可以一起见面。 因此，在这次旅行之前，我在前一天晚上1:00还给他写了一封明信片，在今天早上也就是旅行的最后一天，我收到了他的回信，并且在高铁上忍不住的落泪。有些事情仿佛只能在信里才能用最深刻，并且最不害臊的方式说出来。永远喜欢手写信。 树懒说他是一个也不知道怎么处理关系，但是可以给回应的人。在我们漫长的人生中有太多关系都因为没有邀请或者没有回应而越来越淡，我希望我们的友谊可以多一点邀请和回应。 而关于第二个朋友sail事实上在之前的播客里，我也提到了他当时我对我们的关系感到了怀疑，因为在圣诞节那天他表现得非常不好，耽误了我们许多的行程，我好像找不到跟他做朋友的理由。但是这次我们一起在类似胶囊旅店的地方住了两个晚上，我突然看到了他许多的闪光点，他虽然经常迟到以及懒惰，但是他是一个随和的大剌剌的女孩。 最后对我自己，我也发现我越来越擅长，也越来越愿意去做计划，我愿意承担责任，也愿意为我的朋友们和我自己规划。一切都掌握在手中的感觉真好。 喜欢见面，喜欢手写信，喜欢旅游。

本期节目分享了我在考试前夕利用手帐帮我规划每一天的安排，并且从中受益的故事。同时为分享了在最后我从颜如晶的减肥励志故事和赵露思突然的发文感受到的一些新的体悟，我认为每一个人都应该做自己最坚强的后盾，都应该寻找一些出口，找到一些积极乐观的方面去思考问题，同时也懂得如何排解自己大家都不应该成为落井下石的人，而应该互相的温暖彼此。

这一切都太难了，坚持是最不容易的事情。我很想破戒，很想吃夜宵，很想大快朵颐。 而当你偶尔破戒后，你发现这越来越难了，你会渴望第二次破戒，但与此同时，你清楚地知道如果你这么轻易地投降，过去的努力又会付诸东流。你不想回到过去，你不想重蹈覆辙。 于是你又哄着自己前进，告诉自己再坚持一下吧，你告诉自己不能前功尽弃，然后如果真的想摆烂一次，可以，但绝不能成为惯性，同时也要告诉自己要承担后果。

本次节目是围绕着我和我两位朋友之间的友谊，在一些事件之后我慢慢审视我们之间的关系与问题。 朋友当然不是意味着十全十美或者是无可挑剔，重点在于你们是否能够接受彼此的缺点，或者是那个人的优点是否能够大于缺点。 今年的圣诞节我的朋友非常自大地，以为我可以忍受她一切不礼貌的行为，把多年的感情当作可以浪费的资本。在我已经告知具体的时间，且为了她已经屡次拖延之后（全程也是由我预定和准备，我甚至还带了化妆包准备为她化妆），她在司机已经到达的情况下告诉我她还没有从寝室出发，最后让我孤身一人先行。 一而再再而三的拖延，让我意识到她并不认真，甚至毫无反省的意思。因为她的迟到，让我们无法在圣诞节去到原定的餐厅，她却好像也没有很抱歉，甚至还会在搜寻消息记录我的打字错误为自己设置借口。 我察觉到了这些问题，并以一个非常直接的方式沟通，提出了我的不满。这在我看来是最有效的方法。 审视这样友谊，我认为每个人彼此都在友谊中有权利选择离开，多年的好友不意味着你们可以长长久久，也不意味着对方就要无条件忍让你的所有。我们应该珍视友谊，而不是自大地认为所有的关系都会不离不弃，任何人对所有关系都有权利说再见。

好久不见，在操场吹着冷风录的一期。我需要把自己的才能激发出来，所以接下来的日子里我会更加的严格对自己，我知道这能让我自己变得更好，眼下，我意识到我需要一股狠劲。